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Tuesday, May 3, 2022, 10:08:22 AM- Trying Out
So, I've been doing a few frisky things with my "spare time." Really, I don't have spare time, I'm just using time where I should be doing other things! I thought, hey, I could turn on my webcam and stream and people could watch me while I work and maybe chat!

Well, then people started chatting; mostly guys, but a couple women. They started asking me to do things, then they tipped me, so how can I say no at that point?! So, there I am with my back to the camera, spanking myself hard until "it leaves a red mark." Then a guy wants me to penetrate my anus. Wasn't much money, it was just the principal that he paid something and expected to get something in return. Was probably like $4, and now I am these people's whore.... It was such naughty fun, that no wonder I got no work done at all!

So I will have to be more cogniscent of when I do stream and more disciplined to say when I can plaay and when I can't!!
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Tuesday, November 23, 2021, 4:06:34 AM- PnP
I never knew what PnP actually meant until about 7 years ago. But, why would I? I don't like getting into hardcore drugs; I figured pot, beer, and some prescription stuff should always be enough for me. I'm changing names just to feel like I'm better protecting identities.
Well, a friend introduced me to some stuff, as he knew I liked Adderall sometimes. We were at a girls apartment; just us three. I tried some up the nose, and it burned like hell; just about the most unpleasant thing ever. But, about 10 minutes later I was wide awake and ready to solve all of the worlds problems. I also had this burning desire to take off my clothes, and suddenly that girl seemed more attractive than when I came in.
Don't know how, but somehow we decided to play a game. Whoever won the game became the King or Queen for an undetermined amount of time, and the other two were there peasants. It was pitched as innocent; have to make them snacks, bring their drinks, but there was also hinted sexual undertones as well. We started with the same amount of chips, and clearly everyone was giving their best effort. At times the light-hearted fun turned into fierce competition. The game must've gone on for 45 minutes at least, or it seemed that way in my state of mind. It was enough time for us to start discussing sexual things; and comparing our game to spin the bottle.
I beat out my friend, leaving the girl and I to face off. I ended up going all-in with two pair; Tens and Aces, only to be shocked when I lost to a Full House! I was disappointed that I wouldn't get to have the fun I had been imagining. But then, she stood up and commanded us to bow before her. We laughed, as it was just such a sudden change in tone and mood. She didn't laugh back, and instead said, "listen up, my little bitches, you lost the game. You agreed to the rules and you lost fair and square. Now are you going to honor your bet, or am I never trusting you with anything again?"
We both looked at each other in confusion, and then back at her stern, serious face. I was dumbfounded. Very curious and horny, yes, but I suppose I wasn't sure if she was just messing with us.
She responding authoritatively, "now get down on your knees. NOW." I made the first move and slowly got on me knees. I didn't look at my friend, but I could hear him following suit. "Put your lips on my feet and leave them there." With only slight reluctance, I obeyed. I was surprised to see she had very nice feet, and they did not smell bad. "That's better," she said, and then she broke character and said gleefully to herself, "this is gonna be fun!"
"Now, Chad (my friend), I want you to spank Elliot."
"Really," Chad asked.
"Yes!" She said it maniacally, almost. She wanted to just see if we would do it, but she was right, it was the deal. We had at least a couple hours of this, and I started to think about what my limits were. I was not going to go far with Chad; as high as I was, that still was just not sounding cool. But would I let him do something to me? I tried to imagine being sober and not-so-horny, and what it'd be like. I figured this may be a night him and I never ever discuss again. As those thoughts, among a thousand others, bounced around in my head, I felt a hard slap on my right butt cheek. I couldn't help but grunt.
"No," she said. "Take off your jeans first," she commanded me. I obeyed with my eyes down. I was in a small t-shirt now and some tight boxer-briefs. "Now spank him three times." Chad immediately spanked me. "Very good," she said. "I think I want to take you first," she said, pointing her toes at my one inch from my face. "Come to my bedroom." I started to get up, but she stopped me, "I didn't say you could stand up! You will crawl behind me and be my little pet." She laughed to herself as I followed on my knees. I had no idea what was in store, but I was still so high that I was crazy with anticipation.

--End of Part 1--

PM me if you want to hear the rest smile.
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Sunday, November 14, 2021, 5:57:12 AM- earlier experience
One of the most random, kinky experiences I ever had was about five years ago or so. I was chatting with a woman, she was a BBW about 15 years older than me. She was pretty cool, and aggressive, and got me to meet. I got a hotel room where I waited for about 45 minutes until she showed up.
When she came in, I started to small talk. She had this hungry look in her eyes, and she came right up to me. She started ripping off my clothes without asking or checking to see if I had any reservations. Before I knew it, I was standing before her buck naked and a little in shock. She grabbed me HARD so that I jolted, but not too hard, and dragged me into the bedroom, which I obeyed quickly so that it wouldn't hurt more.
She had me place both my hands behind my head and spanked me twice. She make me say "thank you," and ask her for more.
She tried pushing my legs wider, and when I didn't do it right away, she swatted my balls and told me I needed to obey FASTER! She started sucking me, and it felt absolutely AMAZING! I was so horny, though, that I was going to cum quickly. I really didn't want to, because I wanted this to play out for much, much longer. But, just as my orgasm was starting, she whacked my balls. Then smacked them again as she scolded me and told me "not yet."
She spanked me some more, and this went on for about an hour, my knees were shaking with fatigue from sexual overstimulation. She somehow knew this, and she shoved me towards the desk. Grabbing my balls, ensuring that I obey, she instructed me on the position I needed to assume for her. She had me bent over on the table and kicked my legs out wider. She stretched my arms out above my head, and she did it in a way that I knew meant that they were supposed to be tied. I had never felt so naked and vulnerable in my life. After spanking me again and again, saying all sorts of naughty things, I felt something go inside of me. Nothing has ever gone in there before or since, and the shock of it was overwhelming. I don't know how long she dominated me for, but I just remember thinking "I can't believe this is happening!" I was also frozen before her aggression right from the start. I couldn't say no in the beginning, and I've never had anyone own me like that.
Eventually, she released me from her possession; permitting me to have an orgasm. I shot so far that it went all the way over my head and in my own face.

That woman read me like a book. Well, perhaps. Maybe she just wanted her way with me. Either way, it was an experience I'll never forget.
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Thursday, October 14, 2021, 7:19:58 AM- Anything for a Sale!
It's been a while on here, so I may be a bit rusty. However, I've done my very best to accumulate experiences over the years so that, when I'm old and don't consider myself attractive anymore, I'll at least be able to say that I lived it to the fullest. I'll definitely have my memories to revisit, and I like to think that, in the after life, some of these experiences will get to be relived.

So, my first job post-college, believe it or not, was a door-to-door salesman. All I was selling was one of those coupon book things, so it was a tough sale and I was commission only. I had been around my route that day once already, and I wasn't having much luck yet.
I came to a door, and an older gentleman opened it. I could tell, once he saw me, his eyes lit up. He was all-to-interested in talking to me and finding out more about what I was selling. I was selling coupons for pizza, so for it to make sense, it needed to be homes where large quantities of pizza were eaten. He asked if I was hot, since it was over 105 or so, and if I could use some water. I obliged, and he invited me in so I could enjoy some A/C.
As he was getting me water, he was making small talk about how long I'd been doing this and everything; how old I was (I was 23) and I can't remember what else. I really did enjoy the A/C, so I wasn't too eager to go back out, but I also needed the commissions. I told him this, but I also said that I understood that this was probably not the product for him.
"well, how much commission do you get from selling one of these," he asked.
"fifteen bucks, unless I discount it," I replied.
He thought for a moment, then responded, "so, if I gave you 50 bucks, you'd be pretty much done for the day?"
I got hopeful, "yeah, actually."
"Do you take check?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then."
"But, why would you do that? what's in it for you; you don't need one of these, let alone two!"
"Well, to be nice. I feel bad seeing you in slacks and shirt & tie, and you could just use a break."
"That's awesome. very nice of you. Thank you!"
He wrote out the check and gave it to me. Then he said, "you know, you can just hang out here and watch TV, if you don't want to go back out in that heat. I've just got some computer work to do upstairs, so you can make yourself at home."
"Actually, that'd be great! I'm ready for winter about now!" He laughed. There was a pause, and I saw how his eyes never left me, and there was that twinkle in it. So, I said, "I would sit on your couch, but I've been so sweaty out there, I don't want to ruin it."
"Oh, that's okay. Don't worry about it!"
"I don't know..." I mustered up the strength for the awkward next line, "if you have something I could borrow, maybe?"
He chuckled, "I don't have anything that'd fit you!" He was a bigger guy, maybe twice as big.
"Nothing? Maybe compression shorts or swimsuit or something?"
His eyes squinted at me. He was trying to understand my motives, perhaps, or perhaps was sizing me up for what he said next. "Hmmm," he pretended to think hard, "actually, the only swimsuit I have that'd fit you, you probably wouldn't want to wear."
"Why not?"
"well, I just wear it under my swim shorts in case they come down."
"Oh, you mean, like a speedo or something?"
"Basically. Yeah."
"Well, that'd work. I was on the swim team for years, so I'm comfortable wearing one."
"Awesome!" He smiled ear to ear and was off quickly to get it. He returned fast, meaning he knew exactly where this thing was. He pointed me to the bathroom to change. I left the door open a crack, but don't know if he even noticed. The suit was big, and I had to tie the waist very tight. I also rolled up the edges a bit to make it not too loose, but I intentially rolled if further than it needed to be. I checked myself out in the mirror, and yes, I looked very handsome and was pretty much naked and comfortable. I exited the bathroom, and he was there with a red face, wide smile, and eyes popping out of their sockets.
I intentionally tugged at it a big and pretended to adjust it from going up my crack while speaking, "yeah, it is a little big, but oh my gosh, its SO much better than that shirt and tie!"
"I bet!"
I walked across the room as I was about 4 feet away from him. I pretended to observe the house, but I was noticing his frozen smile and how his eyes never left my body. "So, can you help me work this TV?"
"Sure." He snapped awake and went around to sit on the couch. I came around and sat with my back against the armrest site and bent my knees so that I would fit on just one side of the couch. My feet were intentionally about two inches from his leg. As I sat there, I felt the swimsuit pull up my crack harder. I crossed my legs indian-style, presenting my bulge plainly. He checked it in the corner of his eye while speaking about how to work his TV. I don't remember what he said, to be honest, but it was acting as though all this were normal.
"Oh, I forgot my water!" I stood up from the couch and could feel half of both my cheeks completely exposed to the room's cool air. I shuffled right in front of him between the coffee table and the couch. He leaned back only slightly, as my butt was within twelve inches of his face.
"You have a nice body, by the way."
"Thank you!" I paused, "are you into guys," I asked as though I didn't know.
"Yeah. Are you," he asked hopefully.
"Well, I used to in high school, so I'm very comfortable with it."
"cool." I grabbed my water off the counter and stood behind the couch looking at the TV. I pretended to stress over the swimsuit and adjusted it profusely. "Well, it was comfortable at first, but it is a bit big. If it were mine, I would probably just cut some off."
"Oh! you can, if you want....I really don't wear it anymore, so..."
"Yeah, maybe in a bit, if you can get me some good scissors."

That day, he wound up paying me $100, since he did NOT want me to leave to go try and make the other half of what I needed that day. I wound up 'accidentally' cutting a little too much off the swimsuit. I helped him do chores around the house, he watched me run on his treadmill, and I sunbathed in his backyard. I let him give me a full massage before I left. we exchanged numbers, and six months later, he paid me $500 to come over for 48 hours and try on what must've been 40 or 50 things he bought in my size. He understood that I wasn't into him, but we were a different kind of friends. For the next two years, I saw him about 5 times, and I didn't make him pay after that second time. I stopped after I met a girlfriend, but I always enjoy that time where I literally gave away my body for a sale!
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Saturday, January 9, 2021, 9:12:50 AM- First Site
As I pulled and kicked my way to my final lap of practice, my body was numb with fatigue. I had developed a good endurance to it, however, so I was just eager to be done. Often, when practice seemed like it stretched on forever, I would dream of just sitting on the couch, watching TV, and eating a bag of Doritos! But, as I glided in to the wall, my head popped up and I finally could breath easily again. Boys swam in one lane, while girls swam in the lane next to us. Now that we were older, though, getting out of the pool made me a little more conscious. I mean, the swimsuit for practice was smaller and tighter than even the underwear I wore normally, and now I had to be laid bare for everyone to judge my body.
There was a bigger girl. I'm sure her parents signed her up in hopes it would help get her in shape, but she was slow due to her inexperience. I had been swimming competitively since 5 years old, so I tried not to judge others harshly. But this girl, Stephanie, had a crush on me, I knew. So, as I climbed out the water, she was right there smiling. She chatted with me as the sun dried the water droplets off my body. Sometimes it was awkward having small talk with someone while practically naked, and there was nothing to do with your hands. I would fiddle with the goggles, cross my arms, but this time, unconsciously, I latched my thumbs onto the drawstring waistband as though they were pockets. Over her shoulder, my eyes were involuntarily drawn to someone.
Maybe it was the gleam off of his golden brown hair. It wasn't long, but it was straight and stayed in disheveled perfection; the kind I could only achieve with lots of time and hair gel. Maybe it was his skin. While everyone was a little brown from the swimming, his was a beautiful, natural brown. The brown tapered paler ever-so-slightly as my eyes went up his long legs. He wore a deep red speedo that hugged his body with ease. As he stood smiling, showing his pearly white teeth, he chuckled. His abs flexed with his laugh; each little muscle making itself known to the world since there was not a pinch of fat on his body. I love girls, and I'm definitely more into them. However, he was just the most beautiful person I had ever seen. He was everything I wished I looked like; I mean EVERYthing. I knew who he was. His name was Randy, and I'll refrain from saying his last name here, as this is a real person.
Meanwhile, I vaguely noticed the sound of a voice continuing on flirtatiously in front of me. Stephanie had been talking, and I really don't know for how long my mind had traveled from this planet. I had also allowed my arms to relax a little too much considering my thumbs were tucked under the waistband. Without realizing it, I had been pulling my speedo down in front of Stephanie! It was like she read my mind. She looked down, her face flushed at the site, and then she gave me this devouring look. I think she thought I had meant something by it!

I spied Randy gathering his bag. He bent over to pick it up from the concrete patio. While I got to witness it, I was too far away to imprint the every detail I wanted. He was walking into the lockerrom.

I hurriedly concluded my absent-minded conversation with Stephanie and, without running, sped towards the lockerroom. Once inside, I saw Randy standing next to the bench digging through his open bag; still in his red speedo. I did my very best to press the reccord button on the camera inside my mind; this footage, I knew, would be priceless. I positioned myself so that I could watch discretely his every fascinating move. His hair waved with each movement; it was like gold woven from silk. He looked up and saw me. Instantly I was feverish.
"What's up," Randy asked with a smooth, boyish sound.
"Not much. Glad practice is over," I said unconciously.
"True that. Embarrassing wearing this suit, too," he said with a smirk. Did he know?
"I know, right? But not really for you, though," I responded. I had no idea if I had the right tactic here, or if I was going to get into a situation that would destroy my reputation for the rest of my young adulthood.
"What does that mean," Randy said. His blue eyes pierced mine like a laser. I had to look away without being obvious.
"Well, its easy for you, cause you pull it off."
He stopped what he was doing. He was sort of at a loss for words. "What do you mean?"
"Really, you don't know what I mean," I rhetorically asked. I tried to remain matter-of-fact and not flirtatious in case his reaction was bad.
"No, what?"
"Well, I mean, like, all the girls like seeing you in it. People actually want you to wear it," I busied myself with getting my things aligned in my bag.
"You think so?"
Finally I looked him in the eye. I squinted and tilted my head as though I was trying to see if he was telling the truth or not. After a beat, when it seemed like I really was trying to judge his tone, I said, "oh, yeah, absolutely."
"What makes you say that? How do you know?"
I could've been braver here, I suppose, but instead made up a lie, "I've heard some girls looking at you and whispering. I could totally tell."
"really" he asked; more to himself. I could see this was a little of a realization for him.
"Dude, if I were you, I'd be loving it."
A toothy grin slowly rose and a twinkle in his eye. He understood now; I admire him. I'm sure he didn't know that I literally thought he was God's perfection or that he could have me wrapped around his finger. But instead of him saying anything, he simply thought to himself aloud, "hmm."
I tried to quickly change the subject. "I'm Matt, by the way."
"Randy."
"Yeah, I know who you are."
"Cool," is all he said.

There was slight awkward silence after that. I could no longer risk staring too much, but the corner of my eye saw as he wiggled the tiny, wet, lucky-ass red speedo off and to the floor. I wanted so bad to take it, but I knew that was a little too perv for me. He pulled on some black boxer-briefs, and put on some jeans. The last glimpse I had was of his belly button as his T-shirt fell over it.
"See you next time," he said.
"For sure."
"Have a good weekend."
"You too."

I smelled the air as he walked past me and out of the locker room. I relived and replayed those moments through my head maybe a thousand times over the weekend. I went from feelings of ecstasy, to worries of terror. What if he got with his friends and told them about the things I said?! What if I get labeled a "fag," and have to change schools or something?

A week went by before I got my answer.
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