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There was an episode of Sex Sent Me To The ER where a guy, in the heat of passion, grabbed a tube of Super Glue instead of the lube. And his in-laws were coming over soon, it was sooo funny!
My wife told me her password is: MickeyMinnieGoffyDonaldPlotoHueyLouieDeweyDublin...because sheh was told her password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital.
Wife: "I'm going to donate all my old clothes to starving people" Husband: "If they're starving they won't fit into your clothes" ...funeral on Friday.
i asked my wife why she married me. She said "because your are funny." I said I thought it was because i was good in bed." she said "See, you're hilarious!"
Vegemite isn't a thing here. That sign, besides being a little humorous, is a dig at a competitor, Subway, who has gotten in trouble for selling sandwiches that were a tad shorter than advertised.