)Banana987's Recent Statuses
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Sun, 17-Mar-24 7:20 PM (42 days ago)
well the girl on girl stuff was fun but I missed cock too much 🍆
LOVEXXXPORN likes this
That's the beauty of porn, there's other categories to choose from when one fails to do it!
(42 days ago)
Sat, 24-Feb-24 7:21 PM (64 days ago)
apparently i like tits and fanny almost as much as i like cock! these past few weeks have definitely been a revelation!
Wed, 20-Dec-23 7:34 PM (130 days ago)
note to self, dont answer a zoom call while getting your vag licked out under the table 👅💦
Sun, 10-Dec-23 3:37 PM (140 days ago)
I didnt fuck the IT guy at the work xmas party, I didn't fuck the IT guy at the work xmas party, I didnt... ok I did 🍆
Sun, 3-Dec-23 7:43 PM (147 days ago)
he couldve warned me he was a shower and a grower 😱 gonna need to sit on a cushion at work tomorrow
Fri, 24-Nov-23 10:35 PM (156 days ago)
didnt know toothpaste on a bellend was a thing but I do now! that was a very minty fresh blow job lol 🍆👅
LOVEXXXPORN likes this
Remember to recycle and brush your teeth with it afterwards 😁
(155 days ago)
Wed, 15-Nov-23 4:45 PM (165 days ago)
an oap in waitrose just called me a strumpet after looking at the durex and ky in my basket then noticing Im not wearing a wedding ring 😂😂😂
Should have grabbed the condoms, tossed them declaring WTF, I only do it raw! 🤣🤣🤣
(165 days ago)
Strumpet is such a great word 😂
(165 days ago)
Mon, 13-Nov-23 9:24 PM (167 days ago)
if you get so drunk you end up with your hand inside another womans bra while snogging her does that make you bi? asking for a friend!!!
Yes. And if you fall in love with her and marry her and providing you're both female, you're lesbian.
(166 days ago)
hen weekend was definitely more like cock weekend
(179 days ago)
Sat, 21-Oct-23 12:35 PM (190 days ago)
my sister said Im a huge slut. I argued Im only 5ft7inches. she went off in a strop 😂
Tue, 17-Oct-23 6:30 PM (194 days ago)
when youre shagging a guy and you suddenly remember why hes an ex...🙄
Thu, 5-Oct-23 11:41 AM (206 days ago)
yes you can use a dildo on me but ffs clean your previous partners pubes off it first! 😫
Tue, 3-Oct-23 12:18 PM (208 days ago)
almost got caught at work fingering myself in the store room looking at cocks. that was close!
A store room full of dicks?? Are they hiring? 😆
(208 days ago)
Wed, 27-Sep-23 10:32 AM (214 days ago)
last couple of fellas I fucked said they prefer some pubes on a woman. can't decide wether to keep waxing or let it grow....
Tue, 19-Sep-23 12:59 PM (222 days ago)
Off to berlin ✈️ looking forward to 3 days nights of german sausage 🍆
Sun, 10-Sep-23 1:57 PM (231 days ago)
Got a hot new window cleaner and I cant stop staring at his bulge while hes soaping up my double glazing 🍆
Fri, 8-Sep-23 6:58 PM (233 days ago)
One of my casuals took me to dinner. Went to a posh place. I let him control my remote vibe in there as a thanx. Aint doing that again 😂😂😂
Wed, 30-Aug-23 7:31 PM (242 days ago)
My regular salons got a new staff member. A fella waxed my vag this afternoon!
Thu, 24-Aug-23 5:25 PM (248 days ago)
Do people still go dogging these days? Askin for a friend ha ha 😉
LOVEXXXPORN likes this
Mon, 21-Aug-23 7:21 PM (251 days ago)
Fellas, I aint a premium member so cant see the images I get in my dms. Shove 'em online.
Mr_Girth_Brooks likes this
LOVEXXXPORN likes this
Sat, 12-Aug-23 5:45 PM (260 days ago)
Got asked if I wanna spitroast an I don't think they mean dinner 🍆🍆