Thursday, September 8, 2022, 3:26:05 PM- Gay Men's Sauna
I was recently made aware of a gay men's sauna on Route 1. It was maybe 15 miles away from me. I had never heard of a gay men's sauna in the Greater Boston area and I certainly hadn't ever been to one. Despite the fact that I hadn't so much as seen a cock since 2018, I was incredibly turned on by the idea.

SUNDAY AUGUST 7th - BABY STEPS

Before hitting the gay men's sauna on Route 1, I decided to start slower. I decided to try a place closer to home. It was actually located near my old workplace. I had driven by it 500 times but it never registered. It was a men's sauna but even Yelp said it was 100% above-board and legitimate.

And it was.

I was the first person there a little after 7 am. It was just me and the attendant Gene who was very attractive for a man in his 60s or 70s. He had me sign in. (Bi panic set in.) Then he told me where everything was, where my locker was, etc. They even give you flip flops. Oh and I didn't have to pay the $31 fee until I left. 2 hours maximum.

I entered the sauna alone with an erection. It would leave soon enough.

During my 90 minute visit, there were maybe five men who came in. They were all cordial, told me some facts about the place, etc. None were attractive. Maybe that's why my erection left?

In any event I really loved the place but there was no sexual tension whatsoever. No one was even remotely looking to fool around.


SATURDAY AUGUST 13th - THE PLACE ON ROUTE 1

According to everything I read about the place on Route 1, it was 'anything goes.' Even the Yelp reviews mentioned open sexual activity. So I was incredibly turned on during my drive there on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Plus I was loaded for bear. I took enough generic Viagra to choke a horse plus I had a drink of something called Brahma Shot. I was actually worried that I was going to cum in my car on the ride there. I was insane with lust when I entered the place.

Let me describe the place--

The exterior was non-descript. No neon or flashing lights. It was just one storefront among ten or so in a strip mall.

Inside, there was a front desk--"$40 please"--and a changing room with lockers down the hall. To the left was a full bathroom and a TV room where guys sat around with skimpy towels on their laps. [Note to self: Try that room out next time.] To the right was the spa room. The spa room had a sauna, a steam room, hot and cold jacuzzis and five or six showers across from the sauna. Unfortunately the sauna and steam rooms were very small. The steam room --where I hung out--could hold 8 on a good day. The sauna could hold six. Too bad because the sauna is where all the action was taking place. I was sitting next to a gorgeous Korean guy in his 20s when this guy in his 50s or 60s came in and began sucking his cock. He didn't even ask permission! Isn't there a 'code'?

As for the clientele, there were ten men there. Nine were attractive. There were at least 3 elevens (on a scale from 1 to 10). Several PERFECT cocks. But none were interested in me. I must have given off a sexually-confused, new-guy vibe.

Because so much was happening in the sauna, I hung out in the sauna. The highlight of my day was when one guy--who didn't ask my permission lol--took my cock in his mouth for 20 seconds.

The problem was I couldn't get hard. It's not because I wasn't turned on. I was VERY turned on. There were beautiful bodies and cocks everywhere. I'm still shaking my head about how my cock betrayed me. If there was EVER a time to have a huge erection, it would have been that day. But it just didn't happen. I was precumming like a sonofabitch but there was no 'bone' in my boner.

Why do I think the ten guys ignored me? It could be the dad bod. I'm 5'9, 185. Not male model material. I also believe I don't give off 'gaydar'. It's probably true because I have no interest in kissing, rimming, being penetrated, etc. That's a very limited menu for a bi man. Finally l told a couple of guys I was new. Was that the kiss of death?

The frustrating thing was that I wanted to play.

After an hour and fifteen minutes with no action or interest on anyone's part, I left. I simply chalked it up as a sexy but disappointing experiment.

ONE LAST TRY -- TUESDAY AUGUST 23rd

I didn't want to give up that easily. On Tuesday August 23rd I went back to 'Baby Steps' -- the legit men's sauna near my old workplace. I got there at 4.

There were two cute younger guys there. One had the sexiest fuzzy bum and one was my height with a perfect mid-sized cock. But 'Baby Steps' has a rep for not allowing any funny business. One guy even warned me that when they catch someone messing around, they throw them out and ban them.

An older guy sat down next to me near the end of my stay and he had been to the Everything-Goes Place up Route 1. He had polish on his nails which looked odd as he was about 70. Not my type but I'm sure he was at 'Baby Steps' looking to play with someone like me. Again, I was plagued by no boner despite taking 1 1/4 100 mg generic Viagras. I just kept thinking, "Why am I pursuing this fantasy? I'm obviously straight or I'd have an erection right now."

I only stayed for 45 minutes.

MY CONCLUSION:

I'm not bi. Look, biology tells us our sexuality, right? If I truly chemically wanted to get busy with a guy, wouldn't I have an erection? Based on the science--sound familiar?- I'm not bi. (I actually wish I was bi.)

A long, long time ago I asked a mentor how I would know which girl to ask out. "A boner is a good indicator," he replied in a deadpan manner.

I badly wanted an erection at the Route 1 place but biology overruled me.

What do you guys think?