I have a Monday for the books, I kid you not........
Around 6 this morning I hear this really odd bird calling, ok its 6AM, I am not going to investigate. 7:00 rolls around, I wander out to the patio, let the dog out, the cat in. Cat can't high tail it in fast enough, meh it's a cat they are odd anyways ( I would soon learn what had thrown fear into the cat). I take up a chair, thinking "I'll bring my lappy out & hit the emails, throw some homework in the dropbox & go from there." One of the worst, WORST ideas I've had in a long time.
Lappy set up, caffeine opened & beginning to consume when I hear this whipwhipwhipwhipwhip behind me head, then in my hair. I bail out of the chair onto the patio, rolling & looking to see what the fuck that was. Nothing. Ok, lets try take 2. Cussing like a sailor denied leave, I brush my knees & legs off, and take up where I left off before the bltizkrieg started. Suddenly.............WHIPWHIPWHIPWHIPWHIP, this time I turn and here it comes, straight at me. FAHKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
I'm ducking an weaving like a prizefighter & this thing isn't letting up, I did get in a good back hand & off to the pine it returned.[img]/A/01/62/42/254205234r.jpg[/img]
Can you say hello Animal Control? Well the bird isn't hurt so they want nothing to do with it. I tell Anna, that if it dives me one more time, problem solved & they will be able to come get it.
In the mean time the neighbor steps out with her dogs and asks if I've heard a weird bird call this morning? Funny you should mention it Cindy, why yes yes I have. (Cue the parrot again)The parrot lands on the chain link fence between us. She freaks, I ain't turning my back on the bastard. She sends a text to her hubby after I explain that AC won't take the bird. Well, her hubby replies "CAPTURE IT". Ok, my neighbor is a DPS officer & the thing that comes to my mind is he is going to send a flunky greenhorn trooper over to take it to AC. Mr Forceful authoritative figure & all right? WRONG!! He calls, catch the bird we'll keep it & see if someone throws an ad up. We catch it, cage it. Come to find out it perv laughs "he he he he he" and whistles. Couple of hours later & a $46 trip to PetsMart later the parrot is resting comfortably in his temporary new home.

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I bet it's a little unappetizing. Was bored in the airport & this is how I was killing time.

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For the fans of GOT. Never seen it but here you go

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Crap, she's behind me isn't she? Please tell me she isn't behind me.




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About The Holiday

Over the years, Valentine’s Day has become a commercial holiday for women. On February 14, intimate couples celebrate their love with candy, flowers, greeting cards, and other gifts of affection.
Men do not want candy. Men have no need for flowers or teddy bears. There are two things men want: steak and a blowjob.
March 14, one month after Valentine’s Day, is the offical date for Steak and BJ Day. The concept for the holiday is simple. If a man makes his woman feel special on Valentine’s Day, then she will make him feel special one month later. What makes Steak and BJ Day unique is that it is dependent on the guy and if he made Valentine’s Day special for his loved one. If a man does not take care of his woman on February 14, then she does not have to take care of him in March.
Legend has it that the holiday was created by Tom Birdsey, a radio disc jockey from the Northeast. Using the his radio show in Rhode Island, the Internet, and word of mouth, the holiday eventually spread nationwide.
Even though this special day for men is not yet recognized by the government, Hallmark, or other major greeting card companies, it is slowly gaining recognition.

The first is for Saffy.
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The second is for those of us who have seen too mnay midnight showings.

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Don't care who you are this is snortable funny
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