...while I've been off this site. Where do I start? There's too much to say and I've had a little too much Midori to actually remember it all. So I'll just stick to the important bits.

Just before Christmas, I received a notification from the university that my "research proposal", which I never submitted in the first place, was successful, and that I would be receiving a stipend of $4000. Four... thousand... dollars!!! That may not seem like much to someone who owns a house or runs a business, but to me it was almost as if I'd won Lotto or something. The research proposal was actually submitted by my lecturer, who wants me to help out with a book she's writing on medieval music. So I'm totally stoked... This work is something I really enjoy, and I'm getting a head start on my classmates for this coming year. Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!

Christmas was wonderful this year... We stayed home, which I really enjoy, because we always put so much effort into decorating our house and the tree, only to go away to somewhere more "summery" for the actual day most years. So the whole extended family ended up over here, and we traded pressies and news and laughs, and had a wonderful Christmas dinner. I couldn't really have asked for more! Except maybe a new car... But I'll get to that.

On Boxing Day, at some ridiculous hour of the morning, I piled my bags into my mate's car, and set off with a carload full of people on a 9-hour journey to Wellington. Now, to you Americans and Canadians out there, I know that driving nine hours is only "across the state" or "down the road" (LOL), but here in New Zealand, we have to contend with some of the most winding and twisting roads on earth. So we were all totally shattered by the time we got there, and made our way straight to the downtown backpackers hostel. I'm glad I came though, because New Year's went OFF! I spent $22 to get into a drum-and-bass party called Breakthru '06, featuring some fairly big local names on the bill and including B-Line, (a damn hot female DnB DJ from the UK). And according to the New Year's tradition, I went nuts. Got slapped down a few times by some of the girls there, but I only cared about it for 30 seconds... I danced and bumped and grinded all the way through to 7:00 in the morning, and collapsed back in my bed at the backpackers without getting up for a good 14 hours.

There hasn't been too much happening lately, except my research work and band practices and stuff. You know, the usual. But right now, I'm falling asleep, so I'm afraid that takes priority, LOL... If I think of any more that's happened to me lately, I'll post it here when I feel like it. See you lovely people in the morning.

Alex
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Some people are hunters. They have little cabins out in the woods with deer or elk or moose heads mounted on wooden plaques as a kind of trophy. Right now, I waana get me some plaques with REDNECK heads on 'em. Grrrrrrrrrr...

If you've heard of a musical group going by the name of "Prussian Blue", then you already know why I'm angry. Two pretty young girls, named Lynx and Lamb Gaede, neither of which can be older than 13 or 14, organised by their parents into a folk duo which espouses slogans of Aryan supremacy, Valhalla, and racial hatred. They have unofficially become white supremacy's poster girls, their Olsen twins, their showpieces. They can't play or sing worth a dollar, but that's beside the point. What is important here is the demonstration of the potential for negative influence from parents on new generations. These girls clearly have little or no inkling of what half their lyrics really mean. Any time they are interviewed, you can automatically tell they've been brainwashed; everything they say is exactly what their parents would want them to say.

How did we get here?! Why do people hate what they do not understand? Why do people automatically judge others based on the colour of their skin? Why do people make assumptions about their "racial" characteristics based on the clothes they wear or the customs they practice? Why do people have to be concerned more with a person's heritage than with their ability or personality? WHY WHY WHY???

If things continue the way they're going, then history will repeat itself once more. Perhaps not on the same scale as WW2, but something will happen. Our generation have obviously not learned from the horrors of the 20th century, and it makes me intensely angry that, while these extremist idiots are a minority at present, the NSDAP were also once a minority, and they found a way to market their message to the man in the street. So if that same message of division and hatred happens to find more sympathy within the United States, of all places, the earth would then be transformed into a living hell through war, and then into a dying abomination through the aftermath.

I'm sick of doomsday thoughts, but the more I see people drifting towards their message of hatred, the more I feel compelled to do something about it. But what is there except words? I can introduce these people to my black, Islander, Asian, Indian or African friends, some of which are far more decent human beings than most white people in this world, and they will snub them. They have been indoctrinated to the point of insanity, and it scares me to think what these people are capable of if their ire is raised.

"Until the colour of a man's skin is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes, everywhere is war." -- Bob Marley

*sighs sadly*
Alex
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...having a damn hot girl in bed with you for the night and going at it with her for a grand total of six hours during the course of the night, breaking your sixteen-month drought in No-Sex-Land. Ahhhh, she's so gorgeous. *floats away on Cloud 9*

I'm happy. Can you tell? Probably not, but yeah. I'm happy. As of last Wednesday evening, I am officially a graduate of the University of Auckland, with the degree of a Bachelor of Music. My two exams didn't go as well as I hoped they would, but I think that in both cases I made the best of a bad situation. I hate exams with a passion. In any case, my coursework marks have already guaranteed that I will pass everything and be accredited with my new degree come next year.

It's been three hard years of work, late nights and stress, all of which are now at an end. Thus, in accordance with the "tradition" at the band flat up north, I was given a 40oz of Jim Beam as a graduation present, and told to enjoy myself. And did I what... I got through three-quarters of that sucker in the space of two hours before blacking out. The things I don't remember that I was told about the morning after are too embarrassing to recall... So I'll leave that to the active collective imagination of the NN community.

The question remains as to what to do now. I'm taking up a job working as an entertainment technician at The Edge, which is a collection of theatres and venues around Auckland's central city. But I'm only casually employed there, and it's just starting to come into the off-season for shows, so I don't know how good my income will be. I'm still working the desks at Autism NZ from time to time, but that's little more than pocket change. I'm hoping that, when I put all three of my small jobs together, I'll have enough to start saving up.

There is also the issue of whether I should go back for Honours next year. It will be a hellishly difficult year, what with balancing jobs, my band, and postgraduate work to go with it. But all my lecturers have given me very positive feedback, and are keen to see me return. What can a guy do??? I love music, and I'd do it ALL the time if I could, but I need to start seriously considering my practical future. As I write this, I continue to have dreams about being a rockstar, or a composer, or an internationally recognised lecturer, but I know in my heart that all of those dreams are long shots at best.

So, dear readers, I will leave a question mark hanging over my head at this point. Hopefully I'll have some more definite news by the time I'm here next, but all I can do now is wait and see what happens. Miss you guys.

Alex
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Tonight, I had another nail driven into the coffin of my doomed career in music. This was the big occasion of the year for all composers at Auckland University: the Douglas Lilburn Prize. Twenty compositions were entered; among them were my electronic work "Zero Signal" from the end of last year, and my piece for string orchestra, "Last Prayer", written in July. I had high hopes that this would be my year... They're both pieces I'm really proud of, and I was sure of at least a strong showing.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

My electronic piece was on first in the 4:30pm concert. Naturally this was a deathknell; none of the levels were set right, and the knockout punch I had hoped for to set the piece in motion was nothing more than a quiet buzz. I quickly optimised the levels on the mixing board, but it was too late, the surprise had gone. The rest of the piece sounded pretty decent in the hall we were in, and I got good comments all round from the audience. So I was 95% happy with how it went.

My string orchestra piece was scheduled for second in the 7:30pm show. We had a few technical glitches before we were actually able to start, but they didn't faze me a huge amount. When we did start playing, it took a while for the players to find their notes, but eventually it was sounding exactly how I pictured it: serene, simple, incendiary. My hands were shaking incessantly while I was conducting, but the players held their nerve, and their rhythm, and once the piece had finished, I mouthed the words "thank you" to all of them with a big smile on my face, before taking my bows and letting the audience applaud the ensemble. I had a few teensy conniptions about the way things had gone, but the audience seemed to love it, and I fed off of that.

Some four hours later, the results were announced. The judges decided that there should be three first prizes awarded this year, each amounting to $1200. The first went to Louise Webster, a fellow third year composition student and a good mate of mine, who wrote a highly technical string quartet called "Argentum". The second went to Melody Lin, a second year composer who composed a percussion piece for four players using various assortments of dinnerware (LOL!). It was the first time a second year had won in some time, so I was hugely happy for her. The third first prize went to Sam Holloway, a postgraduate composer who presented a god-awful piece called "Malleus" for three clarinets, each slightly out of tune with the others. Original, certainly, but is it really MUSIC??? Every comment I got back from the audience suggested that the powers-that-be had got it wrong again; half the people had their fingers in their ears through the duration of the work.

So naturally, I left highly disappointed. I had given it my absolute best shot, and my best wasn't good enough. If the music world here in New Zealand is indeed going to be controlled by the academics, then I don't stand a chance in hell of making a career out of composing. I'm downhearted and I'm questioning whether I should continue my course next year, or just resign myself to the fact that I'm no good. *le sigh*

At least I have you guys. Always dependable in a time of crisis. I'll get the recording of the concert in a couple of weeks, so we'll see if all this bitching I've done tonight is justified. Till then, amigos, stay horny.

Alex
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...but I keep finding time to play my new favourite sport instead. Quidditch World Cup!!! This game has me hooked, not least for the fact that the hardest level gives me a really decent game. I've collected 94 of the 104 Quidditch cards so far, all I need to do now is get the Team Special Move for Spain, and win the World Cup with five more teams. Yeah yeah, I have no life.

Wow, less than two weeks left of my university life and I'm still procrastinating. Someday I'm going to set some sort of procrasination record.

Anyways, I miss you people. I keep up with as many of you as I can, but in between work and procrastinating, I'm running out of spare time (LOL, that sounds really stupid). My computer doesn't like chat rooms either, so I'm stuck with venting everything on here in the hopes that someone *actually* reads this thing.

My anal-ysis lecturer has given us our prepared question for the exam. It's based on Act I, Scene V of Wagner's opera "Tristan und Isolde". Now, if you know this work at all, you will know that my lecturer is INSANE. Seventy pages of score analysis to be completed by the time of the exam. This is hardly motivation to get my ass in gear, more like an excuse to put more things off till "later".

Yada, yada, yada, complain, complain, complain. Okay, that's all I really wanted to say. But yeah... If you people are out there, then please keep in touch more. I miss y'all.

Alex
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Okay, having dispensed with my stupid Analysis (read "Anal-ysis" assignment, I now have but six things in front of me to finish in order to complete my music degree:

- My listening test for Music in the Middle Ages
- My acoustic project for Electronic Music
- My MAJOR project for Electronic Music, which I've barely started...
- My Orchestration assignment; should only need to put a few hours in on this one
- My Anal-ysis exam (GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Why do they make us do this rubbish?) >
- My Music in the Middle Ages exam

After that, I'm laughing all the way to the Town Hall in May next year. Then maybe I'll finally get some time to do the things I've dreamed of doing all my life. That will either involve becoming world famous with one of these bands I'm playing for, or carrying on to my Masters at university and doing some real work. Either way, it'll be a dream come true.

What else can I tell you lot about myself? If anyone thinks of a question they wanna ask, I'm sure I'll be happy to answer.

I'm still working to find a camera, so be patient with me... I will have pervable photos up as soon as I can get my hands on one. But for now, I bid you adieu once again, sweet NNers, and leave you with a thought from my man Bob Marley: "until the colour of a man's skin is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes, everywhere is war".

Alex
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If there's one thing that's great about living in New Zealand, it's Bro'Town. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen on TV, hands down. (Jackass has never really been my thing.) It's an animated cartoon series, scripted and voiced by a comedy group known as the Naked Samoans, and it completely takes the piss out of virtually every facet of Kiwi culture. While the action centres primarily on the Maori and Pacific Island community (what we Aucklanders jokingly refer to as the "Southside", there isn't *anyone* that gets spared from the savage wit of its scriptwriters. Not even Lucy Lawless, David Tua, Prime Minister Helen Clark or Prince Charles. Being able to totally crack up laughing at a good piece of social commentary is a perfect stress relief after a long day of work. I think I'll go get the first series on DVD when I have enough money.

No more analysis assignments. Ever. Happy! Or at least, till I get my mark back. I don't think I did very good this time. But in all honesty, other things interest me more. I'm looking forward to next year, when I can get on with it and do the things I really want to be doing.

I had a sweet little rendezvous last night! I can't tell you much, but let's just say that we both went home very sleepy but very satisfied. She now has a special glow-in-the-dark vibrator to remind her of me. Ah, good times, good times.

I'm now going to head off to the TV, just to relax my brain a little, then I'm gonna go to bed and have some damn good dreams before class tomorrow. Hehehe... "Morningside fo' life!!!"

Luv yiz all.
Alex
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Labour won the general election tonight. It's the first time they've ever managed a third consecutive term in office. I should be thankful, since Helen Clark supports a lot of initiatives for the arts, and for music especially, but I'm not. If anyone cares to know all the political minutiae that my unhappiness relates to, feel free to PM me and ask, because I don't think it's an appropriate subject for a NN blog.

I have 200 and something words written for my assignment. ARGH. I need 2,000 words by Monday morning, and it just plain bores the hell out of me. See below (a few entries ago) for the assignment question. I figure I won't get any sleep on Sunday night; I'll just do the assignment, hand it in at the last second and go back to sleep during class. *grumble* Serves me right for not looking at this earlier, I guess.

On the other hand, I've found myself a prospective thesis topic for the next two years, and I have a long-term goal in mind. I decided to actively seek some options for postgraduate study after taking inspiration from Trixsyn and what she's doing with her Master's thesis, and fortunately, I've found something that I can really be passionate about. I found an enormous, flash-looking book in the depths of our library containing a facsimile of the Riesencodex, an early 12th-century manuscript containing the writings and music of Hildegard of Bingen, the first recorded woman composer in history.

Towards the back, the book contains what is credited as being the first "opera" ever written, known as the "Ordo Virtutum", or "Ritual of the Virtues". It's adorable, sumptuous music for its time, but it's written in a style of notation that is totally illegible to most people, and there is no decent edition of it for modern performance groups to read from in order to perform it.

Thus, I have taken it upon myself to start transcribing it into readable notation and have the university publish my results. Combined with a 10,000 word discourse on the history of Hildegard's life, perhaps splashed with some ornamental performance practice suggestions, I should have enough material to get myself a Master's degree.

That's a significant boost for my morale, since up till very recently I thought I would just put myself on the "arts benefit", which is another name for the DOLE, and hope that one of my bands got successful. While I still hope for the best with my bands, it's good to know that my future has just become a whole lot more secure.

One last thought for you all; a quote from Spanish author José Ortega y Gasset: "sorprenderse, extrañarse, es comenzar a entender"; "to be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand".

Good night, you crazy horny people.
Alex
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Hope ya like it. It's called "Love Is..."
...
Love is a girl in a beauteous dress
Of lavender, tattered and worn,
Who spends all her days by a lake in redress,
So often where true love is born.

Though oft do I come to the lakeside in hope
Of a glimpse of her fair-featured face,
She always doth hide or discreetly elope
'Mongst the trees and the waters in grace.

She bears a strange manner, not knowing how she
Will wound one poor heart to the next.
She might, on a whim, set two lost souls free,
Or leave them perpetually vexed.

She steps, as a feather, o'er fields ever green
To conjure two lovers' first kiss,
Or turns her back blind to the pain in the scene
Of the solitude desp'rate for bliss.

She lends me an ear to the woe of my dream
And she leavens my heart to renew,
Then she laughs with disdain as I float back downstream,
Eternally burning for you.

Alex
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