Today I had to go and have the obligatory smear. It's horrid being a woman sometimes and I really really hate them, but they have to happen!

Apparently though I have a"tight os". Now I did think that the nurse said "tight arse" which shocked me as I really haven't got a tight arse lol. I just thought she was coming on to me...! (I mean she was looking up my vagina at the time)

Apparently the "os" is part of the cervix...I have lived for almost 38 years and never heard of it or in fact been told it is tight. I mean, a lot of people have looked at it over the years...in various situations. She actually said "Has anyone ever told you it's tight before?" which was almost a chat-up line in itself.

Sleepwise ta for your tips on catching some zzzs. If I take all your advice I could be sleeping in a coffin, reading and reciting a script whilst having sex Sounds like a fun and slightly kinky way to spend time! I may need TWL to tutor me though

I actually did manage to sleep a bit last night just because I was so bloody exhausted. Hopefully I can get back to a normal sleeping pattern now without weird dreams!

Been back in work 2 days and have survived! Still... would rather be doing something more exciting but it's ok for now

I still can't sleep properly though. I am awake until 3 or 4 in the morning only to have to get up at 6am. I can't even make up the sleep in the evenings - am wide awake!

When I have been sleeping I have been having the weirdest but scarily realistic dreams. This morning I woke myself up slapping my hand against the side of my head. I dreamt I had a bee in my ear...seriously...sleep deprivation is shit.... but I suppose it does give me cool dreams lol.

Has anyone got any sleep remedies that work for them? (short of being hit over the head with a heavy object) Hopefully I can get some zzzs tonight....

Today I am not tetchy.

However, I am instead acting like some sort of possessed homemaker. By 1pm today I had taken the Christmas deccies down, baked yummy foods, cleaned the flat, sorted out lots of crap and thrown a couple of bags of stuff out!

Before anyone suggests it, no I'm not pregnant, but am beginning to wonder if my hormones aren't getting a little bit special these days!! Talk about mood swings! I will hit 38 yrs of age on the weekend - is that too early to start the menopause?

I go back to work tomorrow, and me and my hormones have come to terms with it (especially as I didn't win the lotto last night!). My baking today involved brownies and cookies, which I will take into work tomorrow for my colleagues (who I haven't seen for weeks since I went on leave). I thought the personal touch would be better than bringing back sweets from my hols. This plan will hold good as long as I don't poison anyone!

I actually think my chipper mood today might well be down to a most excellent pic taking session and hot steamy sex session with Mr McB last night. I will be posting some new pics later on and they are all of me as usual. Mr McB is a bit camera shy and seems to enjoy taking pics of me and then ravishing me! It's a hard life!

Do you ever get days when you are just tetchy for no reason? I just woke up this morning with backache, counting the days down to my return to work, bemoaning the fact that I haven't done any of the coursework I have to do and staring at an ever increasing pile of ironing.

Just the January blues I suspect! I felt guilty then when I got a text from a friend who has just had a serious op, can't work for months and is going through a pretty tough time. Makes me realise I should count my blessings, stop moaning and get my shit together lol!

On the plus side I have not gained any weight over Christmas and though I haven't exercised much since before the festive season (and my back is still a bit shakey)I am still much fitter than I was this time last year! This time last year I would struggle to get out of bed cos I was so bloody fatigued.

Anyhoo my New Year resolutions for 2008 are:

1. To keep losing weight and to keep getting fitter
2. To be more positive about work (or bite the bullet and find something to work at that I'd enjoy more)
3. To stick up for myself a bit more!
4. To spend more quality time with the love of my life!

I am not vowing to give up the weed just yet but am getting there slowly!

Ahhhh now my head is finally de-fucking itself (lol at all the headfucked comments by the way), I am starting to sort out our holiday pics. It was a beautiful place *sighs*

Have been trying to sort out how to post pics on here. Hope this works!

Back in the UK and had a really great Christmas in the US. Am too jetlagged and headfucked to actually write about it at this time though lol. We literally got back 2 hours ago, I've unpacked, had a shower and am now doing my washing. I will no doubt be sleeping by 2pm.

Hope you all had a very sexy Christmas!!

I'm leaving this land mass!

Have a fantastic Xmas and New Year!

I only have tomorrow in work.... and am then off for 3 weeks!

Haven't blogged for a while or been on here that much as it's been a bit manic. Been partying, studying and working! (well mostly partying lol) I haven't even had time for much real life sex unfortunately. Am trying to wind down just a wee bit in work, but my boss doesn't unfortunately realise this....

Am starting to get my clothes ready to pack for Tuesday when we head off to London for the night and then off to the good ole USA!!

Whew I've had a busy busy couple of days. Went to see the musical "The Producers" with G as an early Christmas treat and had a fantastic time. I'd almost forgotten how great professional live theatre is. Comedian Peter Kay turned up in the show too, which was good as we didn't know who the cast would be when we booked tickets months and months ago. He was hilarious and the cast generally were brilliant.

Last night I went on the first of 4 Christmas get togethers, this one in an Italian restaurant. This was with my old team of workmates who I don't get to see that much. They gave us disposable cameras, party poppers and crackers and we even wore our party hats. Talk about getting into the spirit of things! The bottle of wine each probably helped that too!

Am chuffed that I have NO hangover this morning Ate loads of food - garlic mushrooms with cheese, lasagne and tiramisu ( a traditional 1980s Italian menu lol - I am so retro!).

Am out again this evening with G's mates who are great fun - this time for more of a drink than a meal. We have rain and gale force winds today, so I will no doubt have interesting times trying to stand up straight outside pubs whilst also trying to smoke a cigarette.

That's it then until my next 2 outings next week. I need a couple of days to recover!!!

Just 19 days to go to Xmas - where is 2007 disappearing too? I only just got used to not writing "2006" on letters!!

The weather is what I would describe as "squally" (am obsessed with the weather these days - how British lol!) Got soaked today by some bastard who drove past through a puddle at high speed on purpose! He saw us and literally sped up his tiny weeny Peugeot 106 just to make us all miserable! Someone with penis size issues no doubt who needs to buy a bigger car to compensate..... or alternatively wet innocent pedestrians

Am here in pyjama mode again, thawing out and drying out, looking forward to the last 2 episodes of Heroes Season One! Woohoo - bring it on!!