About the rats. We moved their cage from one side table to another one closer to the couch and less in the way. But twice now in the past twenty four hours both of the rats have jumped or fallen from the side table. It's driving me crazy. The first time I heard a bit of a commotion while walking out of my room and saw Skwisgaar curled up by the side table, the second time was today where I heard a thunk but thought nothing of it, then some rattled but dad and I thought it was filo getting into some of the knick-knacks closer to the ground, then I look ACROSS the living room and see Ufn creeping across the floor.

Thank god she knows to come when I call and click at her. Else I would've had to chase her around the damn house.

It's driving me wild. I can't keep their cage doors open anymore for fear of them hopping off. I think they're trying to jump for the couch but just keep missing, since their depth perception isn't the best anyway. But they love running around outside the cage too. Maybe I can make some sort of ramp... Swkisgaar wants to spend more time with me anyway. She comes and snuggles more often now, and I finally got her on the couch and she didn't shit once, that I can see.

In the mean time, I'm looking around for other jobs still. I dunno. Publix is killing me, physically. My shoes are so bad that my feet hurt to the point I can't walk when I get home, and because my feet hurt I roll them to the side, which is starting to bust up my ankles, and my back is hurting because of much more obvious reasons. I think it never bothered me so much years ago because I was used to it. I'd gotten used to it, but after a year off its just all sorts of discomfort. So I'm looking for a less physically up, down, bent over, picking up shit all the time, lugging huge bowls of buttercream around sort of job.

Pickins are slim, and I probably wont find much of anything, but a girl can always look.

Doctor says I meet all the criteria for insurance to help me out, but we'll see what happens. I can't see a doctor until I start working again, and then even later. I looked at all my finances right now, trying to figure out what's takes precedence. Car bill, furniture bill, school bill, and my motorcycle insurance bill all come first.

Then I've got to my taekwondo bill, which is only 55 every three months. God bless the teacher of the school ._. I told him I just couldn't afford the regular rate and he responds with: That's fine! We'll work it out! So I only pay for midterm testing right now.

Then I'll have my breast surgery, which usually runs 5000-10,000, depending on if insurance helps or not, so I don't even know how much it'll run in general. But I can't find out until I have a consultation. There's two to three doctors I'm looking at, and a consultation for each of them runs 75 dollars.

Then there's more school. I figure I'll go ahead and start working on my Masters degree. That means I can either go full time (which I think would kill me) and would run about 4000, or go part time, which would run around 2000. It'll take longer if I go part time, but eventually I'll get there.

Then smaller fees. I talked to dad about getting an Akita, and he's surprisingly more receptive, brainstorming ideas, and he agrees entirely I'll be the sole trainer. But he thinks it would be better to go ahead and get the Akita while here, so it can get used to have another dog around (Filo, though I still worry about Filo teaching it bad manners) and so it can get used to other people, those in the neighborhood, mom and dad, etc. And that way when I move away, no biggie, but if I want to come home I can bring the dog with me too. So, I'll talk with mom. It's still pretty far off, but it's good to have dad on my side at least and so willing to brainstorm.

Job wise, I start work tomorrow, thank god, I need money so badly. And my boss is willing to let me go to another store that REALLY needs decorators, so I figure I can get my feet wet again and Destin and work for the summer, then come fall transfer over to another maybe less busy store, but one that probably also does less key lime pies.

Things are piling up but feeling easier at the same time.

I just feel accomplished today. I cleaned my bathroom and got my laundry done. I also managed to schedule an appointment with a new bank. My car's being financed through a different bank than I'm with, but the one that's financing my car says they'd like to open an account with me and I figure may as well. It's a reputable bank and it's going to be free of charge for me, and this way instead of bouncing from one bank to another, I can just stick with the one.

Then I called and scheduled an appointment with my doctor. I've been seriously contemplating breast reduction surgery recently. These things are killing me ._. I used to be really in shape back when I was in taekwondo, but when I started taekwondo, I was in fifth grade, and had A cup breasts. Easy to get into shape. Then when I was in 7th grade I grew D's, and then in high school hit DD's. Around high school was also when I dropped out of taekwondo, simply because I didn't have the time for it between band and clubs and etc.etc, insert more excuses here. I just stopped going.

Well now I'm trying to get back into it, back in shape, and it's just fucking ridiculous. I have to strap these things down to not have them bouncing all over the place and the uniform doesn't quite properly cover them, but then I have trouble breathing because of all these tight bras. Beside those, there's just lots of discomfort in general. Back pain, and showers are a pain in the ass. Without a bra they just hurt and feel like they're just goanna rip off. I have to support them with one arm the entire shower. It's just insane, and I'm tired of them. I don't want tiny A cups or anything, but something that I actually like seeing and something that doesn't hurt sounds wonderful.

So, I'm goanna go talk to my doctor about it and seeing if I can get insurance to cover it, and then if it's possible that they well, I'll go see a plastic surgeon in the area. If not. Well... I'll just have to deal with them =/

Anyone wanna hold them for me while I shower? =P

I'm a planner, and more than a planner, I'm a researching. I LOVE researching stuff. And I know eventually I'm going to move out of the house and get my own place, or at some point I'll be living on my own, and I want a dog.

So I've been researching what new dogs I want and it's a bit of a toss up between an Akita, a Chow-Chow, and a Chihuahua or Pug. I'm much more prone to a big dog though. The Akita and Chow both sound great and I've been researching all I can on them for almost a month or so now.

The only thing I don't like about my research is I'm doing it so far in advance ._. I know I'm not going to be able to get a new dog for maybe a year or two, if not longer. I gotta consider not just being in my own place, but also if the place permits pets, and if I have the time to devote to them as well. Work and education are going to require a good bit of my time too. I'd get one before I went to more school, while I was home, but my ideas of dog training and my parents' are VASTLY different. Mom and dad tend to expect training to take one day, and since dogs like the Akita seem to require constant training and attention, I think getting one at home would do more harm than good.

Le sigh.

Dad's out and doing better. He's still tires easily, but he says he doesn't really hurt like he was, and for the longest time he was hurting every day, so it's a relief to go entire days when he's not clutching his shoulder. The doctor still doesn't really know what to do and is searching around for the next step and for some colleagues that might have a solution, or at least a stronger balloon to put in his heart. Dad informed the doctor he's not sure he's comfortable getting a balloon in his heart, after all, he doesn't want his artery to explode as the balloons getting blown up.

Doctor explained around his laughter that wouldn't be the case.

Glad that man keeps his sense of humor.

Outside of that, just trying to get to work. It seems a lot of forces are driving me away from Publix, from my mother stating she doesn't want me to really work there anymore (which floored Kricket and I) to the fact that when I had to put in my application AGAIN for this store because I got booted out of the system since it was taking so long, the system was down. I got an email from a local psychologist though informing me that her place might be looking for some help on the administrative side and she wanted to let me know before it went public.

So I asked her about what specifically would go into the job, the hours, any possible benefits, and what the pay would be. It might be nice to have an office job that doesn't leave me exhausted every day I come home. But either way, I have bills to pay, and either publix needs to get me on the schedule, or I need to start REALLY looking at other places.

Writing wise, I figured I'd try to get into the erotic novel side of it. Of the few erotic stories I've written they've seemed to go over very well, so I'll do my proper research and fiddle around with it. I have an idea and the first page of it written, and a lot of concept sketches. The idea came from: Scientific Seductress xD she wrote that one blog by hand and had the section of rude words that seem much prettier in cursive and one was: cartoon tentacle porn, which got Nicole and myself laughing and then talking about tentacle porn and how 'well... I guess tentacle wouldn't be so bad, if he took me out to dinner first!' and etc. etc. on odd-girl-chat.

And then they had that sketch on Robot Chicken of the tentacle monster calling the girl back the next night. So I thought I wonder what it would look like if a tentacle monster and girl hooked up and how taboo it would be, except probably in Japan.

So I can share the concept art, but nothing else yet!

could use a hug

Didn't really know what to say, but wanted to post something. I'd like to give the whole damn thing at one, but it keeps getting re-sized so it's impossible to read. Now it's in segments. Syntyche really, *really* likes Dove, but her Grim Reaper boyfriend, Andros, lacks in the social graces to know when to jump on the Seduction Wagon.

I've been having some issues recently between the high school me and the college graduate me. I've become a different person the past two years, so when I got home I cleaned out my room and it's so much more spacious and adult looking and I painted my bathroom a new color and the big one I was struggle with was, new car? Well, I sat down with my parents, talked it over, and while I am in more debt now than I was before, I got a new one. =)

that makes me wanna REALLY rip my clothes off. That's mild mannered, posh men with the nice hair and the glasses who never smile and are so incredibly serious and poised. They don't joke, they don't smile, they're exceedingly polite (think of the Dr. Crane character from Batman Begins). And when I see one, be it a banker or a lawyer or a doctor of some sort, all I want to do is push them down into a chair, do a strip tease and lap dance, take off their clothes, rub them in warm oils, and virginity or no fuck their brains out because there's nothing I want more than to see that composure crack like ice.

I'm a college graduate :3