The future of nursery rhymes ;



Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
..But she didn't wear that one often.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

OMG it looks like I am going to hit 400 who will that be, apart from a miracle!!!!

MORE than 18,500 prisoners have been freed under Labour’s controversial early release scheme – a staggering 90 a day.

They include nearly 3,500 violent thugs, 1,730 burglars, 400 robbers and 790 people jailed for drug offences.

There was fury that five sex offenders were also let out early – even though they are meant to be excluded from the scheme, launched by Justice Secretary Jack Straw last summer.

Early release lags have committed at least 367 further crimes. More than 600 have been ordered back for breaking the terms of their release but 124 are on the run after refusing to surrender.

What a load of shit no wonder they laugh in court!!!!!!!

OAP admits bid to have sex with goat but thought he was safe as it 'couldn't talk'

WTF

I have lost a lot of faith in NN so i am also hanging out on ere, so to all my friends hope to see you poping over i will still be here but also there

http://www.zoig.com/profile/f11966

<a href="http://www.zoig.com/profile/f11966">f11966</a>


f11966


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A computer repair technician has told Sky News how he discovered a highly confidential Government data disc hidden within an official laptop, which had been sold over eBay.
Laptop found in Manchester area
Laptop found in Manchester area

Lee Bevan, managing director of Leapfrog Computers near Bolton, said: "A customer brought a laptop into our repair shop. In between the keyboard and the circuit board we found a CD that said Home Office, Highly Confidential."

Mr Bevan immediately contacted the Metropolitan Police in London and officers from the Counter Terror Command in Manchester recovered the equipment.

A Home Office spokeswoman confirmed "Encrypted IT equipment has been handed to Greater Manchester Police.

A PAEDOPHILE who kept his job at Sainsbury’s after he was exposed has been caught delivering food to a NURSERY.

Steven Spencer, 35, admitted hoarding hundreds of vile images.

But bosses kept him on – and he was found him making the drop with tots yards away at Snapdragon Nursery in Corsham, Wilts.

Michele Elliott, of charity Kidscape, said: “It makes my blood boil.” Last night Sainsbury’s suspended Spencer from the Chippenham store and ordered a probe.

A spokesman said: “He was with another colleague at all times but it is totally unacceptable.”

Ex-Scout leader Spencer, of Charlton, was let off with a suspended sentence and put on the Sex Offenders’ Register last July for his stash of 283 sick images.

A driver caused train delays after he misunderstood the directions from his satellite navigation system and drove on to a railway line.

The 26-year-old foreign student, who was delivering a takeaway, turned on to the tracks instead of a small road immediately after the crossing and got stuck in a cattle grid.

The student and his passenger could not push the Daewoo Matiz off the tracks at Oulton Broad in Norfolk, delaying trains for more than an hour before a recovery vehicle towed the car away.

A CHURCH has issued a challenge for its married members - have sex every day for a month.

Church head pastor Paul Wirth, of southwest Florida, US, issued the 30-day sex challenge to take on high divorce rates.

Pastor Wirth said: "Sometimes life gets in the way.

"Our jobs get in the way."

The challenge, however, does not extend to unwed congregants.

To clarify what I am saying I for one have paid a quick visit to the sight I am mentioning there is none of the down voting that is a common factor here.
You are not allowed to slate a poster, if you do you are booted.
There is no daily upload limit.
But you are not allowed to flood the sight with say picks with a slight hand movement.
The sight has just got running so is still working things out.
My worry is that it is offering posters what they have been asking NN for a little back up with the morons!!!
I have seen this subject over & over again in the forums on the picks to no avail!!!
Mrs Slogger had Abuse on a pick earlier this is not called for!!!
I have been a member for years i want to stay here!!
Why can't NN sort these few problems!!!
Multiple ID's were said to have gone, DREW, DREWS BODY, TALLION any more i ask!!!