I wouldn't say it to you if it wasn't true. I don't mean musically.

I find I become ee cummings when I type drunk. Capitals go out the window.

So guys take a picture of them coming on someone's picture and it's to show how turned on they were by the person and I get that, that's all hot and eveything I guess.

But I say let's up the ante a bit! Anyone can tribute a hot naked girl photo. It takes real gumption to tribute a totally foul photo. Or even better, a completely stupid fucking photo! Like one of those fucking cat memes... "Tribute cat iz in ur base killing ur doodz" Or the "chocolate rain" guy. I know that's technically a video but you get the point. Maybe a picture of Don Imus' face. I'm just brainstorming here.

It could be a competition, who can actually force themselves to cum while concentrating on the fucking stupidest thing.

So my friend is in Istanbul right now. Dirty bitch. She sends me text updates constantly about how she is at the Hagia Sophia where Richard the Lionhearted once was and how there are street vendors who sell hand guns and so on and so on making me at once crazily excited for her to be having such a great time and madly jealous of her.

Naturally I keep texting her about how it was once Constantinople and otherwise referencing the famous song from They Might Be Giants. Things like, "Hey, btw if you have a date that was waiting for you in Constantinople you should look around there for him." And so on.

The point of this post is to point out what I've identified as an inverse bell curve on jokes like this. They start out funny, then go through a phase of going on too long and not being funny anymore, THEN they start to return to funny and even eclipse their original value of funny the longer you insistently bang them in there! I think that's interesting.






...




Maybe not... but it seems interesting to me at the moment.

Whew. Cold out there today. This morning it was even colder when my car stalled out. I freaked out a little as I realized i didn't know how to fix it. Luckily a few cars filled with friendly people stopped and took a look at the enginge for me. One group brought tools and before I knew it they had the car up and running again. I wasn't going to freeze to death after all!

As they all walked to their respective vehicles I smiled to myself and then thought of the perfect way to honor this special day! I shot them all in the back, and took their tools in case my car were to break down again.




...




...




...




Ok... I didn't shoot all of them. One young mother I just gave small pox infected blankets to. Happy Thanksgiving.