being married to a stubborn woman when i am stubborn as well. the latest issue (that i am dealing with from washington) is the garage door. we have one of the old wooden ones which weighs a ton and crashes down with a loud bang when closing. needless to say it does not have a safety sensor either. we decided to put a new one in. because of the low ceiling we had to go with a special opener. when the salseman came out, he told us where to put a new outlet for the motor. when they came to install the door today, guess what......the outlet is right in the way of the motor. the company is doing the right thing. they said have it moved and give them the bill. truth be told, the electrician is a friend of the family and did the work for cost of materials anyway. he also would come right over and fix it with no problem. here comes MY problem. the wife is pissed off because the salesman gave us bad information and is throwing a fit. the electrician would probably come over today and fix it, but my wife says no. she also has the next 5 days off (including today) and refuses to have to "sit around for half the day" while the work is done. mind you it is about an hours worth of work and she really has nothing to do anyway. when she works she always says, "i can't wait to just sit home and relax". wtf? it is also my job to make all the calls (being the man) which i really don't mind, but i am the go between...having to call my wife to see what she wants, then call the company to relay the info. she is italian (sorry, no offense meant) so she is prone to these fits. she will probably call me later to apologize for the whole mess. no apology is necessary as i understand her frustration, but what a head ache to my day. i hope all of you have a fantastic one....be well. and any electricians in the ny area, give me a call....lmao!

today is such a beautiful day here in the DC area....ahhhhhh. i went out for a nice ride (did 35 miles) and now am going into chat for a while before i have to do some grocery shopping.....uuuggghhh. such a downer considering i had the chance to admire some damned fine bodies during my run. it always inspires me to try and do something with mine, but the damned beer keeps calling me......lol. maybe i should talk to my doc at the VA and let her know that i hear the beer talking to me! that would prolly get me locked up for sure. would anyone come visit me, ffs "one flew over the cookoos nest" just jumped into my mind and now i'm sitting here by myself cracking up. i guess i am a little mental as far as the VA is concerned. i had a couple different meeting where they explain the treatment options. it sounds interesting, but the idea of someone messing with my mind is a little strange. the one option requires a lot of writing, which i think i would enjoy. i always dread getting started, but once i sit down and get a flow going i start to enjoy it. notmuch else going on. work has been keeping me busy. i'm in charge all the time which is a little added annoyance cause i have to fight with the supervisors every once in a while. its funny cause i work in a critical care area and one of our supervisors has her background in psych....no knock on the psych nurses, but they are for removed from the medical/surgical side of things. i start talking to her about the patients some times and her eyes glaze over. anyway all, i have taken up too much of ur precious time, get out there and perv!!!!!!!

well, i received a letter fromm the VA today and my claim for PTSD was denied (not a big suprise). when i called my social worker down here where i am being treated, she was shocked.....she is going to get me in touch with some folks to put together my appeal. i was going to appeal anyway, but it would help to have someone who knows what they are doing. the decision was basedon the fact that they don't have records of me being treated when i was in iraq...i kept telling them that it is because i wasn't treated in iraq FFS!!!!! HELLO!!!!!! its called POST traumatic stress disorder for a reason!!!! my first reaction was to be really pissed, then i decided that i will appeal it to all ends of the earth. i wonder how much combat was seen by the person making these decisions....... just wondering.
also to brighten my day, i went up to ny today for a sonogram for my wife (more on that later). well, when i went to leave at 3:30am, i found that i was blocked in. i share a tandem spot with another person in the military (although i don't know who she is or where she lives in the complex). a spare key is supposed to be left with the parking attendant so it can be moved as necessary. well, guess who didn't leave a key? they also couldn't find her number to call her. i couldn't miss the appt, so i squeezed out and ended up scratching the side of my truck big time on a pillar............$500 deductable later maybe i will get it fixed. i just came home (yes, 4hr drive there, 4hr drive back, but i did get to swim in our pool for an hour or so after the sonogram) and her car is STILL in the same spot. i'm going to give her a little piece of my mind when i see her
the good news is that the sonogram went well. preliminary shows everything is good. and its another boy! (to those who don't know...i have 4 boys with my ex wife...GREAT kids). i now have a basketball team! my wife is hanging in, but she is not enjoying the pregnancy thing much. she still looks hot though!!!!
the funny thing is that my day should really qualify as being "shitty", but i am so lucky. as i was driving i thought about how wonderful it was to be able to have the money to go home just for a sonogram and a dip in the pool. at times i feel a little guilty because i know so many who live paycheck to paycheck while i have a pretty comfortable life. my wife swears we do as well, but we have everything we need and most of the stuff we want and are still able to have money in the bank.
during the drive, i also had time to reflect on the friends that i have made on this site...i am truely blessed! you all know who you are and thanks for being "you"!
as always, thanks for reading.......

hear ye hear ye, to all those that choose to read this blog.....i am going on vacation once again. i will be gone from 6AUG until 16 AUG. i plan to have a wonderful time with my bride (of 6 years) down at hilton head! i am hoping to get lucky at least onec...but more importantly..to show my wife that i still care about her and love her dearly. she has been sticking with me through all of this army crap and deserves the attention. know that i will be thinking of all of my NN friends daily and i will prolly seee things which remind me of u! the last time, i saw german flags and though of JL....i saw canadian things and thought of my best friend here (J!!),, heard accents which i have attributed to many of you.... to sum it all up..you all have made an impact in my life (positive) and for that i thank you. i will see you all soon. be well my friends.....MD...u know ur my guy!....D xxxxxxxx

hear ye hear ye, to all those that choose to read this blog.....i am going on vacation once again. i will be gone from 6AUG until 16 AUG. i plan to have a wonderful time with my bride (of 6 years) down at hilton head! i am hoping to get lucky at least onec...but more importantly..to show my wife that i still care about her and love her dearly. she has been sticking with me through all of this army crap and deserves the attention. know that i will be thinking of all of my NN friends daily and i will prolly seee things which remind me of u! the last time, i saw german flags and though of JL....i saw canadian things and thought of my best friend here (J!!),, heard accents which i have attributed to many of you.... to sum it all up..you all have made an impact in my life (positive) and for that i thank you. i will see you all soon. be well my friends.....MD...u know ur my guy!....D xxxxxxxx

hear ye hear ye, to all those that choose to read this blog.....i am going on vacation once again. i will be gone from 6AUG until 16 AUG. i plan to have a wonderful time with my bride (of 6 years) down at hilton head! i am hoping to get lucky at least onec...but more importantly..to show my wife that i still care about her and love her dearly. she has been sticking with me through all of this army crap and deserves the attention. know that i will be thinking of all of my NN friends daily and i will prolly seee things which remind me of u! the last time, i saw german flags and though of JL....i saw canadian things and thought of my best friend here (J!!),, heard accents which i have attributed to many of you.... to sum it all up..you all have made an impact in my life (positive) and for that i thank you. i will see you all soon. be well my friends.....MD...u know ur my guy!....D xxxxxxxx

so the new way for me to keep up with my boys (16, almost 15, 12, and 9) is to text. they don't really have an interest in talking on the phone. they send me texts every once in a while to say hello and to see if i can buy them something (of course). i was also informed by my second child that i should get a my space account so we can keep up there as well. he also told me a story about my 3rd child getting in trouble because he had all this inappropriate stuff posted on there as well as messages from girls which where less than lady-like. needless to say he has been banned from the computer (i neglected to say that these are kids with my ex and they live with her). well, i had never really been on my space, but i took a look around and went to their "pages". i was informed that since they are too young to legally have a page, my second is not 27 (but admits in a thread that his mom won't let him do something......lmao). i then went to my oldest thread (his page is "private"....yes alarm bells are going off) and he has posted his daily mood. well i get down to the bottom and the last entry says he feels "horny"....LMFAO!!!!!!!! WTF, he's 16, that goes without saying............ don't worry everybody, i have done all i can. we have had numerous talks and he knows he can come to me with anything. i am hoping he continues with the mature behavior and resists the evil girls out there............. thank God they are all great kids. definitely a handful, but wonderful none the less. i think i may have to pose as a hot young girll to get access to my son's page, hahahahahahaahahahah. then i will feel like half the "hot chicks" on this site!!!!!!!!!! anyway, have a great day all xoxoxoxo

i went to the va (Veteran's Administration) today for an appointment. today was an introduction to the types of therapy that they offer. it was very interesting, but at the same time a little scary. i have been through my share of trauma in my life (physical, emotional, and sexual abuse by my natural father; i witnessed my brothers drowning when i was 9; i worked the site the night of 9/11, and then of course iraq). i have always been good about storing the trauma away as if it were another life. when i was younger i was able to direct my energies towards sports and i actually became quite good. i was always driven! a little extra motivation to carry me through. that is until this iraq stuff! it has had the opposite effect on me to where i no longer want to work out. i have to drag myself out of bed to do anything and i have lost interest in many things (thank God sex is not one of them ). i am nervous because they actually want me to relive the experiences which i am trying to repress.....not sure how that will turn out. the real issue which i want to address is that when i go to the va, i feel guilty becaue i see so many others that are suffering WAY more than me and i almost feel as if i don't belong. how did the men and women from WWII do it. there was no PTSD back then. they just came home and carried on! that is so impressive. maybe the generations just become "weaker". even with all my issues, i am so thankful that i am able to carry on and provide for my family. i do have to say that you all have helped me to carry on. all of the thoughtful comments and encouragement mean so much to me. i only hope that in your hour of need that i will be able to give you the strenght you need. on a side note..........is it wrong to have "feelings" for the therapist????????, she was HOT!!! i digress......thanks again for your support and for reading my rants.

i had the honor and pleasure to take care of a fine man last night. regardless about how you feel about the war or conflicts in general....he is one damned fine person. he is a higher ranking person in charge of a lot of soldiers. when he took command i'm sure he made a vow to take care of all his men and he is one that follows through. he was wounded in '07 and could have easily sat the rest of that tour out (pretty significant injury), but instead he rehabed quickly and made it back to his troops. this was his third deployment with his men. while out on a mission they were hit by an IED. he lost both of his legs. i spent a lot of time talking to this fine man and his concern was first and foremost to his men and family. he is considered a VIP at the hospital, but during our discussion i made it clear to him (and he was VERY happy to hear) that he was getting the same treatment from me that i gave to all the men and women i take care of. it was great to hear that he wanted no special treatment. when i introduced myself he told me that if we were clearing a building...i would take his lead, but since we were in "my house", he would take mine. i went online and searched his name (he has been in the news a few times)and read some of the comments to the news stories. i was amazed to see that there were many replies from both the officers and enlisted. no higher compliment can be paid to an officer than to have the support of the enlisted. we discussed his future and he sees it as an oppotunity to inspire troops once again. he says that he would like nothing better than to be standing in front of troops (with his prosthetics) and be able to tell them that since he was able to do it, THEY CAN do it. what an inspiration, not only because he is the leader of young men and entrusted with such a great responsibility, but because he will make a positive out of whatever life gives him. i thank God for sparing him (he has a wife and younger daughters) because i am sure he will become an inspiration to the rest of the people with whom he comes in contact with. i would gladly follow him into that building...........

i just got off the phone again with the VA (veterans administration) about a claim i put in for PTSD. i am feeling pretty good right now, but want to be sure the claim is there for the future if i start having problems again. well the fuckers have been screwing around with the claim for almost 1 1/2 years now. they keep saying that they are looking for certain records, meanwhile i have provided them with EVERYTHING! its funny cause the PTSD caused me to have some anxiety/stress type issues and everytime i have to talk to them i get stressed and anxious.........LMFAO!!!! ffs i can understand "going postal" now (sorry to all the postal workers out there...i kid, i kid.........). i was told i couldn't actually talk to the person processing my claim as it would slow them down from processing claims..........WTF!!!!!!! mine isn't being processed anyway ffs...........pmsl. it appears that the messages being passed along by the people i do get to talk to are not concise enough.....aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!! if i could get ahold of them, i think i could get my point accross ))) i hope everyone is having a great day.....