A female acquaintance once described the poet/author Lord Byron as "Mad, bad, and dangerous to know...".. My friends sometimes refer to me in similar fashion.
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Saturday, February 18, 2006, 1:38:36 AM- Bored... Bored... Bored... | ||||||
I haven't left the house in the last four days. Other than my father and brother I haven't spoken to anybody at all. Other than a few brief hellos in chat rooms, I haven't even talked to anyone online. I've been watching tv and playing computer games. Unemployment sucks... I finally managed to get my sleeping into some sort of regular schedule, instead of staying up later and later every night, having my sleeping hours keep rotating from night to morning to afternoon and around and around... Unfortunately, I'm going to bed around 6am so I'm sleeping all day, and waking up too late to do anything during the day. And now it's the weekend, so I'll have to wait til Monday to get shit done. Today I woke up around 4pm, but instead of going to sleep at 6am, I'm just going to stay up all day and go to bed around 10 pm (hopefully), assuming I don't just end up staying up all night again. I have to see if I can manage to get back onto a daytime schedule by Monday, so I can start looking for a new car and probably another job, too, since (when the company laid me off) they told me "a month, maybe two.." before they call me back to work, but the management is notoriously full of shit... The job's not that big a deal, although I am supposed to at least be out looking, to keep the unemployment folks happy.. Mostly I've just been checking out the job section in the newspaper, although I have put in a couple of applications at places. The car, on the other hand, is something I need to take care of - my 93 Ford Aerostar has 192,000 miles on it, and I'm getting closer to 193... The engine sounds like hell - it runs kinda rough and I know I've got a cracked engine mount, pretty sure the timing's off, too. So, that's why I've basically been sitting at home for the past three weeks. The discipline of not spending money... I don't drive anywhere I don't absolutely have to go, I don't spend money on anything I don't absolutely need. I don't hit McDonald's, don't go to the mall, don't buy things to entertain me. I've spent exactly forty two dollars this week, almost all of it on gas. Lol - so far this week, I've eaten two whole boxes of oatmeal. It's only $3 a box. I only eat twice a day, anyway, except days when I'm working, then I bring a lunch. With no job, I wake up and eat something, forget to eat all day, then remember that I haven't eaten all day just before I go to bed, and end up staying up an extra half hour later than I'd intended so I can find food. But the important thing is that I'm barely spending any money at all. Right now, I've got about $200 in my wallet, the leftovers of my last two paychecks from work. I've also got my first two unemployment checks so far. With that kinda money in my pocket, I can put at least one whole unemployment check in the bank, and after I pay next month's car insurance with the other, I'll be putting almost $300 in the bank this week. But still, it's not easy to keep myself entertained without spending money. I'm not the kind of person who goes out of their mind after two hours of doing nothing - it'll be a long, long time before I start going stir crazy - but this blog entry is basically my version of pacing around the room in frustration. | ||||||
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Thursday, February 16, 2006, 12:44:52 PM- Something For Deba.... | ||
Written as sort of a love poem, but it also kinda reminds me of how it feels to lose someone.... LEAVES Be ing with out you is like writ ing a po em us ing on ly mon o syl lab ic lines. | ||
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Thursday, February 16, 2006, 12:34:40 PM- Some People... | ||
..Can just say hello and it makes your whole day better, even if you only talk to 'em for two minutes... | ||
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006, 8:06:43 AM- Ever Have One Of Those Nights... | ||
Where absolutely NOBODY that you really want to hang out with at the moment is around? | ||
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Friday, February 10, 2006, 8:43:33 AM- TWO DAYS plus... | ||
That's how long I've been awake now...about 57 hours now... | ||
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Thursday, February 9, 2006, 3:11:14 AM- Are Finger Cramps The "Cyber" Version Of "Not Tonite, I've Got A Headache"? | ||||||
The other night a friend of mine wanted to get busy over the internet, and I told her I couldn't... She's not all that happy with the fact that I don't always feel like getting into it whenever she's horny, and she's always horny. Apparently, I'm pretty damn good at it, which is why she's always asking me to do it. But being good at something doesn't necessarily mean it's *easy*... <sigh> I had to explain to her that, on her part, she's just masturbating to what I write, but that I'm trying to judge the sexual arousal level of somebody I've never actually met in person (nevermind slept with) entirely by their facial expressions, and then attempting to instantly improvise what's basically a well-written erotic short story entirely on the spur of the moment...*And* try to type it quickly at the same, which is just as hard since the only way I can type fast is to look at the keyboard while I'm typing, which takes my eyes off the screen (and her face). And I just can't do that every time I see her online, which is almost every night. I think she understands, but she's still not happy with it... Sigh.... Women.... lol | ||||||
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Monday, February 6, 2006, 11:43:55 PM- The Shit You Find Out.... WTF??? | ||
My mother died back in December, and we've still got a bunch of insurance papers and stuff still sitting around, waiting to get filed... I happened to be walking past the couch, and saw her birth certificate sitting there on top of the papers. My mother's maiden name was "Vitro".. or so I thought. The name on the birth certificate was Arline Mae "Stanville"... So I asked my old man about it when he got home. Apparently, my mother only ever mentioned it once or twice, and never really went into detail, but my mother isn't my grandfather's biological child. My dad thinks that maybe my grandmother had an affair or something, and he thought my mom might be part german, maybe... WTF??? Does this mean I'm not actually one quarter Italian? Shit... Am I part German? I fucking hate saurkraut! Thanks so fucking much for telling me this shit, people... <shakes head, just giving the fuck up...sigh...> I've found out soo much fucked up shit about BOTH sides of my family in the past few months... Y'know, I used to wonder if I was adopted. I'm about ready to start hoping I am...pffft. | ||
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Monday, February 6, 2006, 6:44:16 AM- 52 blog entries | ||
And five of them this weekend... holy shit, what a rollercoaster, huh? | ||
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Monday, February 6, 2006, 6:33:07 AM- I Feel Much Better Now....Lol | ||||||
/me picks Gracie clear up off the floor in the biggest hug she's ever gotten.... | ||||||
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Monday, February 6, 2006, 4:31:34 AM- SAD FUCKING DAY | ||
AND I KNOW I DON"T HAVE TO MENTION WHY...... <INSERT 3 DOZEN BIG-ASS SHOOT-THE-NEIGHBOR'S-FUCKING-DOG-FOR-NO-GOOD-REASON-JUST-CUZ-I'M-SO-PISSED-RIGHT-NOW EMOTICONS HERE> | ||
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