Go fuck yourself.

Addendum to libido: I fucking hate you too.

Sincerely,

Emotional Center of Ryan

So, one of my old status updates mentions I tried to have a good day, but didn't accomplish that. At least not until I came online for some release the other night.

So, I met this girl on another forum site, and we hit it off kinda rocky from the start, but it slid into something good. Talked, flirted, smiled. We made discussions of meeting up this past Saturday for some highly possible fun, see how we connect, and go from there.

Met up at the local subway station, had a little hug, sat and went to Tim Hortons for coffee and talk to get to know each other's physical reactions. After a while, I offered her back to my place and she agreed.

Walked through the snow, occasionally held her hand, even once pulled her into a kiss a few times, making out on the street. Enjoyed a little theological discussion. Mostly brought up because she spent a year in a Catholic school, and the uniform was partially on my mind.

Reached my place, offered her something (non-alcoholic) to drink, and she said no, so we sat on the couch and talked a bit more. I had my hand on her back, hugging her in. Gave her another kiss session once, talked a bit more, and put my hand on her knee. She took it off but let me keep my arm around her as we kept talking.

She leaves soon after, about two hours after meeting. That's fine. Around four hours later, I sent her this text:

"Hey. Had a good time with you today. Sucks you didn't feel the physical connection apparently. Regardless, you seem great to spend time with."

No response until about 10-ish tonight. Start making small talk, and I ask "So what did you think of yesterday?" and then silence. Few minutes later, I talk about Fight Club, since it's on IFC and I get a text IMMEDIATELY back.

I am actually rather frustrated at this moment, and getting fed up. Between this and some other crap that's gone on in my life, I love women, but if it wasn't for their softness and how I feel around certain ones, I would give them up completely.

Anyone have any insights?

You know what?
This man rocks.
Why?

...

You have to ask that question? Get out of NN now. No, click the logout button. Seriously. Did you do it? Good.

For those of you left, you do not need to be reminded of why he rocks so hard. He's amazing, fantastic, incredible, etc.

MD, this blog is just for you. Why? Because. You don't need a reason to show off awesomeness.

Just because I need to delete them, doesn't mean I can't feature one or two on this part...does it? Hmm...You tell me...

[img]http://img.photobucket/albums/v466/Dathus/IMG_0076.jpg[/img]





That's all for now...

Every one of my photos and videos have been removed. Why? Well, I can't tell you. Sorry, but no, they're to be kept locked away for now. Maybe I'll repost/do more, but until then, there will be no new photos or videos from Cursed. I am so sorry to those who enjoyed looking at me. Maybe, if you're a good enough friend, or are special, I can give you a peek at the old ones, and send them over. Other than that, they are safely stored somewhere that I will not post them from.


Feeling a little less like myself...

Cursed

Okay, has anyone seen the video for this song? I had heard it so many times on the radio and absolutely loved it. I turned on MuchMusic today and was greeted with the video near the beginning. I was absolutely stunned!

It was like Quentin Tarantino directed it, without any blood. It was just. That. Magical. How can it be magical, you ask? Well, yee shall receive..

The song starts with a guy walking down the street in a suit, and he does some small dance moves. He turns to a mirror and sees others dancing with him, even though he is alone. He feels silly, and continues walking, until he looks on the other side of the street and sees one of the women who he was dancing with in the mirror. She walks across, and thus the dancing begins anew. It's like club mixed with contemperary dancing...I can't explain it. It's just. Wow. All I can say.

The dancers continue from the small group they had to filling the streets with thousands upon thousands of dancers; all of them in business-style attire. It's something to be seen, to be honest. I highly advocate you all see it, if you want to watch a music video that's not completely interlaiden with sexual propaganda. I love this song, and this video. As a matter of fact, I've watched the video at least a half-dozen times, it's that good.

I just hope I'm not hit for using outside links...

[url]http://www.roxwel.com/player/fingerelevenparalyze.html?detect_mediatype=flv&detect_bitrate=_700[/url]

Enjoy. I know I did.

PS: Oh, is it just me, or were there a few panty shots from the black haired girl he first sees on the street? I swear there was...

What's this? Ryan is complaining about Valentine's Day? Well, maybe he is.

Can you blame me? I mean, it's a day that pretty much pushes into your face "Hahaha you single sons of bitches! We're with someone and you're not!"

Yeah, I'm not bitter at all, am I? Even though the day is pretty much over.

Regardless, I hope you guys all had a good Valentine's Day with your special someone in your arms.

That's right. This is none other than CursedPoetry reborn. Some of my RL friends found me out, so I have to hide under a new name.

I was toying with the thought of removing myself altogether but MD made me stay. I petitioned a new name, and thus I am NorthernLengths, but you can keep calling me CP.

That is all.

Many moons ago, an angel descended from heaven. Unlike his bretheren, he had blackened wings and could not fly. He was deemed a fallen angel and cast down to the world between Heaven and Hell.

His peers could not look at him with anything but disgust or amazement, or bewilderment. No one accepted him. He walked the world alone, searching for someone who could accept him for who he was.

After years of searching, he found a small community where a group of people took him in and accepted him. They cared not for how he appeared, but instead for how his mind worked, and his ideas.

Finally feeling at peace, the fallen angel opened himself to the group, and became close with them. Even though he could not bring himself to the emotion of love, he found himself dewlling more and more upon a particular female within the group. His heart flew like his wings never could carry him.

Unfortunately, it was a wrong road for him to take. They had tried to build something, but his otherworldlyness caused him to be too much for her. She couldn't handle him anymore, and had to tell him.

They stood over a cliff overlooking the ocean crashing upon the rocks below, the pure blue sky reflected within his icy eyes as he turned, looking into her dark chocolate eyes. He knew something was wrong. He asked her once and only once. If she did not love him like she said she had, it was what he wanted to hear. No lies.

She turned her face to the ground, looking at her feet before turning and gazing into his pools of innocence. She spoke those six words he had asked to hear, but dreaded. "I do not love you, anymore."

He bowed his head as he took a step back, his feet coming in contact with the edge. His eyes closed as he shed a single pure tear from his orbs of vision. His body relaxing, he pushed his arms perpendicular to his body as his wings stiffened. He fell backwards, off the ledge into the waters below.

She rushed to the edge in time to watch as his body was devoured by the rushing waters below. Gripping the ground tightly within her fingers, tears streamed down her cheeks as she asked herself the burning question. 'Was this right..?'

By her side was the last remnant of him: a dark feather caught under a rock blowing in the breeze. She picked it up, looking into the pale, unforgiving heavens, wondering if she made the right decision.

Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me




Yeah, song lyrics will be popping up a bit in my blog. But that's where I get inspiration for my works. Music. And this will be a two part blog. My thoughts on the music, and a bonus.

Ever had someone you loved? No, I don't mean someone you -had- to love, but someone you -could- love. Like, a true lover. Someone you couldn't be next to without wanting to take them in your arms and tell them how much you love them. Someone who you look at in the arms of another, so in love, and it breaks your heart. Someone you lost because you lost your head and did something stupid.

I did. I had a beautiful girl on my arm about two years ago. I thought I loved her, but I realized until she told me she loved me with the most sincerity I've ever heard, I didn't know what love was. I was scared, and lost my head. I lost the best thing in my life, and now I'm trying to get her back. However, her ex broke her so bad, she can't trust guys anymore, and I can't stand not being with her. I told her how I felt, and she seemed floored. However, she returned the flooring last weekend when she asked me to come closer to her, and she kissed me. I was shocked, but melted into her. It had been too long. I tried to be near her all the time, that weekend. I wanted to hug her so much, but our friends were very weary of me going out with her again, so I had to act like nothing was going on. I did my part really well. Hopefully I can get her back.


So, for the second part. I was in the main room with ditzybutsexy, and she asked me:

Ditzybutsezy says: hmmm how did u get yr name?
Cursed Poetry says: I'll tell you in my blog post. As a little add on.



I was on MSN with a group of friends about, 3 years ago. A friend of mine was talking about how she was so bad with relationships, choosing the wrong guy. I told her I was so cursed with not finding anyone who wants me. She told me that I was a "Cursed Poet". I changed my MSN name to it ever since. The reason I'm cursed, is because I believe in true love, and I am so good at helping my friends through their love lives, yet my own is so screwed up. I'm so horrible when it comes to matters of my own heart. So I'm Cursed to be amazing with others love lives, yet doomed to be single for the rest of my days.