Yes it is true, I do have Parkinson's disease. Big hairy deal. I am still able to keep my home, where I have been now for 19 years. I want to keep my independence as long as possible. I am very grateful for the home care that I am receiving, but it is not easy at all.

Yes it is true, that I have been an active member of NN now for 10 years. Actually, if you include my time as onionbreath I have been here close to 15 years. Yes it is true but I love to look at naked people, all kinds of people, all adult ages, all sizes, shapes, and colors.

Yes it is true, I am aching and crying when I look at all the problems with heat and drought in the west, where I came from. New temperature records will be set all over the west. It is unprecedented. Easy to understand, but very hard to live. My heart goes out to all my friends in the west.

Every time that I look at video footage of the catastrophic fires on the western side of North America
I hear a voice saying "this is what the automobile industry has done for us. This is what greed and
ignorance has done".

If you need proof now you got it. The alienation from the Earth and fear of female power, the whole
history of the Church, creating false dichotomy of spirit and nature. This is what we got.

I felt disrespected. I felt injured. My honest, real lived experience was being trivialized and dismissed. I felt that I was being judged by people who are ignorant of the diversity of life experiences. I was being judged by people who know only what their television presents to them. There is nothing more disheartening than being judged by people who are not your peers.

All my life, and also my in 17 year massage career, I have always looked forward to being tested and ranked by the very best. There is nothing about my education that can be called conventional. I have been very fortunate in that regard. But it means that people with less knowledge sometimes get to dominate and dismiss what I have achieved.

People who have not been tested, have not been challenged by respected teachers know nothing about living the standards that they espouse. It is a masquerade. The great psychotherapist, Fritz Perls, made a distinction between three levels of delusion or illusion. Elephant shit is on the cosmological scale. Bullshit is a deliberate intention to mislead, and chicken shit is the production of distraction by boredom and tedium.

The New Moon is passing today. Everything gets reordered and reset at New Moon. So I am ready to try again. Times are tough and confusing for all of us. Meditating on our consensual nakedness can heal and enlighten. I will avoid some aspects of NN for the timebeing.

Thank you to the 2 lovely people who sent me 3 nudles each. Those banner ads
are super duper ugly and repellent. Now adfree for the next 2 months.

Thanks again.

Today I am deciding to stop commenting on photos in NN. I will also stop sending & reading messages.
The banner ads are too hideous, too revolting, too harmful to the spirit. I am not able to ignore them.
I feel like an idiot trying to co-exist with them. They go against everything that I have said about the
spiritual origins of our exhibitionism. They represent the worst impulses of our misogynist training
in the western world.

I will come back in a few days to see if they are still here.

It is tempting to push a little bit and get some shopping done. Not cold outside, sun
is shining, I would like to let my legs boogie, but I yam still coughing & sneezing a bit
too much. This is one of those cold viruses that ya don't want coming back to
clobber ya because ya underestimated it.

I was hoping to go to the cannabis store today. Good people working there.
I was hoping to buy some thc/cbd oil spray, which is very good for my hand
tremor, for pain in injured hip, and good for sleep. I will just have to make do.

I have a serious cold, for the first time in almost 3 years. Yesterday I felt like
I was trying to swallow a mouthful of hot road gravel. Slight fever. Now this
morning it is causing upper lung congestion. I was hoping to also buy some
good indica smoke, but now not good to smoke.

Stay home and look at all these naked people. I have just enough of a good
Chinese herbal remedy, called Gan Mao, little tablets that do wonders. Drink
lots of water, stay positive, take lots of naps, look at all the naked people.

If ya feel generous with the nudles, then I could even watch women masturbate.

This morning received a formal letter from the concierge of this building, who is
also a friend. Apparently, the owner has transferred all dealings with tenants
to a management company. There have been some angry words spoken about
the announced rent increases, and other issues, such as the airb&b arrival.

I have tried to keep my mouth shut and accept the changes, but I feel kinda
shakey about this letter. I am afraid that it is a further attempt to throw us out
so that they can convert the whole building to airb&b. It creeps me out.

Seventeen years I have been here.

Two days ago I took myself downtown on the bus to shop at legal
cannabis store. Spent $135.00 for two products. One is an oral
spray of THC/CBD oil; very, very, very potent indica. I have not
yet opened it. I still have a different hybrid oral spray product.
They are almost equal, but the CBD is a bit higher in the new one.
I have been watching for the new one. I had bought it before in
December. It is a very special product, but very easy to mis-
judge and take too much. A bit unpleasant, but not terrifying.

I also bought dried flowers of a mid-potency indica. It goes
together with the oil products, mutually reinforcing. Smoking
weed at home with no fear is still a great novelty.

My tremor and hip joint pain so much better with the oil.
I have not had any ibuprofen for about 3 or 4 months.
The effect on my sleep cycle is rather dramatic. Sleep
straight through 6 hours or more. Very little alcohol.

A very big thank you to Pierre Elliot Trudeau and his son,
Justin Trudeau. They did the right thing.

In 16 days I will come to a big milestone. I first moved into this apartment April 1, 2002. I had been living in a semi-homeless state for a long time prior to that.

The building was sold not long after that to a new business man. It has not always been an easy situation with the new owner. For a long time he called me by another name, and frequently yelled at me for no reason. I have always been a good tenant, but he would sometimes pound on my door, saying "we don't need the police to throw you out", even though there was no reason to throw me out.

He is sometimes confused and acts in a way that tells me that senility is not far away. He showed up one day to tell me that my rent was being increased by $40 immediately, or else he would throw me out. His behaviour was not rational, but I was afraid of him, so I agreed. If I was to make a complaint with the rental board it would cost me $200 to open a file, and there might not be any action for 4 years.

Now he has converted the apartment across the hall into an "air b&b". Last night some very drunk 20somethings came in at 3:30 a.m. and told everybody to go to hell if we wanted to sleep. Someone very drunk was knocking on my door, but I did not answer. I said nothing.

My suspicion is that he will suddenly announce that we all have to leave so that he can convert the 8 apartments to "air b&b" units. He does not see people when he comes here - he sees only dollar signs. It is not legal what he is doing, but so many landlords are trying the same thing that the rentals board cannot stop it.

I have never been so afraid that I might some day coming back from walking on the mountain of love see his goons throwing all my stuff out on the street. It is a real fear, not an imaginary one.

17 years living right beside Mt. Royal, the mountain of love, which is my church, my sanctuary, my true home. I want to stay here for another 17 years.