So I was out in a yard, and howlin was rinsing out a paint pan and some paint brushes,.. nothing to exciting.. but it does get interesting. A worm starts to come out from the grass,.. and I point it out,,..

Howlin that dear sweet man.. says "Do you ever wonder how a fish knows to eat a worm? It's not like it can possibly know about a worm,.. and when It see's one, its probably for the first time, how does it know it wants to eat it?.."

I thought for a moment then looked at him and said ..."So when you saw a boob for the first time you had no idea what it was, but you knew you wanted to suck on it didn't ya?"

He busted out laughing and replies with a " I rest my case "

He says he now understands 'Instinct' lol

Sug

I was always told, for many many years that if you can't stand the heat get the heck outta the kitchen,.. in other words,.. don't mess with something you can't handle.

I am me, I notice all sorts of things and pick up on the small clues, little gouges etc. After all that I have come through, and have learned to get over and put behind me, I have learned a few hard lessons,... one is, .. that NO MATTER WHAT,.. no one is better then me,.. and no one has the right to say they are. Another is,.. that even though my life has been dragged down many different roads, many most people will never understand and hopefully never have to experience I deserve every right in the world to be happy and live a good life. One hard one,.. and many still have yet to learn it,.. NEVER .. EVER EVER,..think you have the right to break a woman down,.. because in the end,.. it will come back to haunt you.

If you think im rough around the edges,.. stuck up, hard to please,.. a bitch,.. stubborn,.. the list goes on,.. you have not lived my life... you have not made it through what I have.

I have moved on, I have learned to live and learned to never forget,..

I have learned to love and be loved,.. I have earned and learned to respect myself and my body,..

the greatest of all though,.. is that I can be me,.. and the man I love welcomes me for me,.. understands me,.. cherishes me, and treats me like a queen, and I will repay his kindness with love and affection in the same manor,.. so to those who dislike me,.. dislike my methods of who I friend and who I have no interest in, to those who dislike my attitude or my way of thinking and being outspoken,.. all I can tell you is .. I'm me,.. and there is no other way to be.


hate me or like me,.. I'll still sleep like a baby tonight.

It's amazing the passion that can be unleashed in the middle of the night when you know you have to go to sleep for the next day. So when that alarm clock went off and was deafening me,.. I just wanted to pick it up and throw it this morning and just go back to bed with the hillbilly,.. it's an icky day out today anyway,.. who would notice???!!??....

I'm guessing our customer probably would... =\ ~sigh~ .. O well.. so I gotta spend the day with hillbilly working, could be soooooo much more worse.

So Happy Monday everyone,.. hope everyone has a decent day today,.. and don't forget to smile!

Sug

The hillbilly ... really does have a lot of skills, even though we joke around and act like he can't count,.. or read etc etc.. he really is very smart,.. and has an eye for things that some do not.

So I'm also blogging these photos just to thank him for a great time tonight,.. and to show case his wonderful photos from tonight that were my favorite

If you ever look at my profile to see my pictures, you know the below picture is not my normal style. I rarely ever show a lot of myself simply because I was always uncomfortable. So,.. I am blogging this to see what people think about it before putting anything in my actual gallery,.. if ya stop by let me know what ya think

I look at NN as a place to go to,to get away from the real world, to sit back and cut loose for awhile and have some laughs with some good company joke around pick at each etc. However I have come to realize that so many people make NN their actual life,.. it can be saddening really.

Does NN have people here that are wonderful and can give your support when needed and good friendship? Absolutely! I have met many wonderful people here, I may not talk to all of them every day, and I may go weeks before saying a word, but I know they are good people, and will check in on them from time to time. When you make NN a place where you go because you feel it's your actual life, then it becomes a mess, everything affects you in the wrong way,.. feelings get hurt and things get misunderstood.

NN is still made up of a group of 'people' .. just like in the real world, there will be people that you don't like, there will be people that you become the best of friends with,.. there are mean people everywhere, even on the web,.. not EVERYONE will like you, not everyone will hate you, but if you get to a point where more and more people are pulling away from you, maybe you should look at yourself before putting all the blame on those people.

All i'm saying is,.. I see a lot of people throwing out stuff they obviously have no clue what they are talking about,.. throwing out stuff because they are butt hurt over something,.. calling people names because they can't take rejection over their own actions,.. people are people,.. take the punches as they come and move on,..otherwise you are left sitting there sulking like a child.

just how I feel today, thanks for reading.

Sug

It's almost that time, that time where I have to put away my heart, lock it up and let the anger flow,.. simply use my brain to make my choices that I soon shall have to make.

Life tends to throw some curve balls at you from time to time, and the only thing that you can do is work around them. It's time to tell the soft side that she has to take leave and let the strong, empowered side take the lead, because she is who is going to get what needs to be done, done.

I got my certificate today for my achievement,.. and i'm so proud of it,.. very proud but at the same time, not sure what it means,.. because I never thought I would make it happen. I just want to jump out and buy myself something awesome for making it happen, for all the hard work that went into completing it,.. but at the same time, right now,.. I can't. However no one can take it from me,.. and I have the hillbilly to thank for pushing me the whole way to get it done.

Howlin is finally getting what he wants done, he's finally at a place in life right now that is going to allow him to do what he loves, and be free to do so, and I am so proud of him, and so happy/excited for him,.. that I can't help but smile when I think of how things are changing for him. That being said, it's time for Sugar to get everything in line, and time to put everything out there,.. so that I can heal and move on and have a life free of intimidation, ... and free if drama, and most of all,.. a life that I want to live, that is mine and is everything that I can make it to be....

So it's that time, the gloves come off,.. the hearts locked away,.. and the dark side is out to play.

Sug

So we have a few neighbors, a couple of them are great neighbors, .. a little off in their own ways, but great none the less. Then we have neighbors that are just pricks, especially when they think it's okay to go behind everyone to get something done, and then expect you to pay for a part of it,... AFTER they get the people to come and do the job....

However that came to a screeching halt after hillbilly said... NO,.. isn't going to happen, not now not later.. NO.. LOL

Well apparently because of that,.. they are going to take every opportunity to be jerks,.. one of the good neighbors has an AR,.. he wanted to use it for the first time,.. so hillbilly and I let him come to the yard and do it,.. wasn't working right, but he shot it off a time or two ... (maybe a bit more) shrug... anyway.. the *dickhead* neighbor calls the law to start trouble ...(rolls eyes) ... seriously? ...

That's alright,.. we got news for this man... hes in for a lonnngggggggggg LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG summer.... and every other season to come...

Hillbilly,.. the sexy SEXY man he is,.. brought out the toy,... oh yes the rat,... the loud sexy,.. make your panties drop Rod... and lit it up like the fourth of july.... and got new blacktop all over his freshly painted wheels... and gave the neighbors a nice little memento ...

So today was just one of those days where you really have not a darn thing planned, but still get a bunch done anyway. Got some stuff done here that has been needing to be done for months, got my little fish pond cleaned out yesterday and checked it again today, Hillbilly did a little bit of house repairs and then we sat and enjoyed the sun for a little bit.

I asked the neighbor if it would be alright if I kind of like 'babysat' the puppy they have. He is always on a chain, and always just laying there unable to play and be a puppy, so I wanted to let him play with my dogs ... So Meet Zeus (or Hobo Jack) as Howlin and I call him.

Such a playful little thing, hillbilly has a soft spot for the little guy, smart little dude, and I got to nap with the hillbilly, and Hobo Jack snuggled up and we all had a good afternoon nap!

Spent the afternoon with my baby and a cup of coffee looking over the property,.. Soon... we will have something to be even more proud of

All in due time

Sug

So didn't sleep at all last night, why? I have no earthly idea!!!!

Its annoying really, but at least I got to watch howlin sleep for awhile,.. and the puppies snuggled up to me for awhile. I wasn't having a bad night, in fact I had a great night, so that wasn't the problem lol.

Poison ivy is nearly gone, things seem to be falling into place nicely, and I have the one person I never thought I would be with, but wanted nothing more then to be with him. I think all the time, I couldn't possibly love him more then I do right now, and then I do!

I can't wait to be completely healed, get over this sickness crap and go back to being normal sugar again, hoping its just the steroid pills that are keeping me hyper and awake!!


O look!... a pretty pair of shoes... time to go!

Sug