I read something this morning that resonated with me for a couple of reasons

"Forgive someone who doesn't deserve it"

I had someone ask me the other day why I still care about people who treat me like crap. That's a simple answer and maybe it makes me stupid, but it's because I care. Simple as that. Why harbor feelings of resentment? That doesn't hurt anyone but me. Some of my friends have problems bigger than anyone can understand. I get that. So, yes they do treat me like crap sometimes, but I feel I'm a better person by being there when their tantrum is over and being their friend. I don't turn my back on my friends or people I care about, period.

Also forgiving people who aren't sorry for their actions. This is one I'm having to really remember right now.

In the end the anger and grudges you hold on to only tear you apart. They will make you crazy! Make you do and say things you'd never say which I am very quilty of! I've decided to forgive them even though they don't feel bad or are they sorry for what they did. I'm doing it for me and for my well being, not for them.

So forgive. Be happy.

As my profile approaches 10,000 views I have begun to reflect on my time here and how much I've changed since joining the site a little over two years ago. Not only my name (and those of you that were friends with me as needsithard now how much I came to hate that name), but how I see and interact here as well.

Many of you know how I came to be here and if you don't and if you're curious, just ask. I don't mind sharing the story. Needsithard saw the site completely different than even Needs (my later shortened name which I loved Mr. NN for changing for me) did and certainly different than TexAngel does. The needsithard profile approached 10,000 views a little quicker than this one has because then I thought of this place as porn site, plain and simple. I thought that the more I showed the better. The response to that was overwhelming and a bit of a head rush, I'm not gonna lie! As a thank you for 10,000 views I posted a video. Many liked it and the comments and views were numerous, but one person had something different to say about it. By that time I had discovered the place I now know and love called status. I was getting to know members on a different, more personal level. This person pops up in my IM the night I posted the video and told me how all though it was hot, it disappointed him. At first I thought, "Well, gee thanks!" The more I listened to what he had to say though the more I understood what he really meant. It wasn't me. (I mean it was me in the video... lol), but it didn't reflect who I was as person.

I can be naughty. I for one think I'm fairly good at it. However, I really am the person you see every day in status. I would hope the 8 people I've met personally from here would say the same. Naughtiness to me is personal. That's not to say I don't flirt because I think we all know I do, but to me, more exposed pictures and videos should be shared in private. No, I will not share with every one of you in private, so don't flood my inbox!!!! I eventually took the video down and as I began realizing this about myself, eventually the more provocative pictures began disappearing from need's profile as well. I had also met someone here and started feeling that pictures like that should be something special just for him and not to share with everyone. I'm not going to go into why I deleted the needs profile. Those that know, know and those that don't it doesn't really matter anymore anyway. Do I regret it? Sometimes, yes. Not for the views, but for the sincere lovely picture comments and profile comments. That profile had history and I do miss it sometimes.

Fast-foward about two weeks after deleting needs, because I couldn't stay away any longer. I missed you fools! TexAngel was born. At first I wasn't going to post any nude pictures. I was still involved with person mentioned above and I decided out of respect for him, I wasn't going to do it. Not because he asked me not to, he would have never done that, just because I didn't feel the need. Eventually I did decide to take my top off so to speak. My boobs are my biggest asset after all! lol The way I see this site is completely different though. I no longer see this as porn site. I see this place as a community. I come here for the social aspect more than any other thing. I do occasionally look and comment on pictures. 99% of the time it's only on friend's pictures though. I hardly ever venture off the status screen or the blog screen. I miss you guys when I'm not here and I can't wait to share my day with you, good or bad. Yes, I have friends in real life. A lot of them actually, but hardly any of them know me on the level that some of you do. You just can't share so much of yourself with people in your real life. You can be everything and anything you want to be here. That's what I love about NN and that's why I'm here.

Yes, I still enjoy taking pictures, but now I like them to be special. I don't want 50 pictures of the same boob shot in my photo gallery and you will never ever see a picture of me completely exposed below the waist in there. I do not think badly of the people that expose all. More power to them! It's just a personal choice for me.

I will do something for my 10,000th view, because while some people say views are no big deal, I think they are fun milestones. It will however not be a video. Sorry! lol I'm proud of these possibly soon to be 10,000 views because I got them just being me. Not being someone I thought I should be in order to be a part of this site.

As my profile states... people here have become my real life friends. I've talked on the phone with some. Some have my personal email address and IM and I've even shared a meal with 7 out of 8 of the ones I've met. Don't ask about the 8th... I don't kiss and tell. I've had many experiences here on NN. Some good, some bad. I've been over the moon happy in the last two years and I've been very sad, but through it all you have been with me every step of the way and I would not trade or change one single second!