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| Thursday, March 27, 2014, 5:17:37 PM |
March 22 at 8:00am my marriage ended... Who hoo! Not that it is still in my blog here, but I have expressed my view on my husband and how he has treated me, and how things were just not working out. Well after talking it out with Paul... We were both able to see the logical solution of us splitting up. I have had 15 months of getting over it, I started and ended online relationships, I have had many heartbreaks.. I have done the tedious work of finding someone who can make me happy.... Crazy Wendy who everyone else in my life has said is too much for them... I have found someone who can make me happy, and just with online contact too.. I am going to take some time to be myself, who ever that girl is.. I am going to do things that I would never have been able to do before... I am going to spread the wings and be free..... Finally free... We are taking the unconventional route here too... Since we were best friends before we got together, 6 years before... We are going to work toward that... We got out before any bitterness was able to form... He has an insane amount if resentment toward me, and will have a hard time working through that, but knows when he is not mourning the dream of what he had hoped we would become, this is what he wants too... Since I am technically disabled I can not work to support myself.. Thus, I need to stay.. I will build an apartment for myself in the basement, and start cleaning out my life... I am a recovering hoarder who is ready to let go of the preconceived ideas I had about collecting stuff.. I am ready to recreate, no scratch that, I am ready to create the life I want... Not one that I was so young that I had no idea what I needed or wanted... I am ready to fly.... Showy is by far the most amazing emotional relationship I have ever had with anyone! The reality is...He is far away... And a MM... So, I will take this time to be on my own over here. To rediscover what being single is. As I look back, I have not been single for pretty much most of my life, always had boyfriends along the way... I am very lucky, I am able to get my emotional support from a man who I truly love. Paul is on the same page as me for this split, and we are going to work hard at the friendship, and make it amazing... For our sons sake... We will be strong like bull! I can't wait to decorate my space with my stuff... I can't wait to be able to go to church and not have to reassure my husband every time that I am not going to bring it home, I will leave god where he belongs in the church and in the sky bull crap anymore... Man I could keep going with all the wonderful things I am feeling now.... I shoot my arms into the air and cheer... I am smiling, I am happy. I keep going over in my head what can go wrong... Well everything can especially when emotions take over.... I have some hopeful cards up my sleeve that will protect me from the unknown... And when the true unknown comes along... I will have the strength and energy to work through it... When I think of what I don't have now.... Well I don't have a mean mother in law who just hates me, to deal with in the daughter in law sense, I am her sons friend now, she can blow chunks, it may not look this way from the outsiders view, but from inside this house, omg, it is a driving force! I also don't have to pull his younger brother off the f'n cliff every time I talk to him... I don't want to ever have to pretend to like or be nice to his middle brother... His family are not mine anymore, giggles.... Best f'n feeling in the world!!!!!!!!!!! The rest of what I don't have anymore, pales in comparison to the shedding of his mean nasty family... 17.5 years together, 25 years being friends... Now... A new chapter Wendy is free at last.. Sigh of relief, and then a great big smile! Thanks for reading W |
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