Ten random men are approached by a woman in ten random bars and she offers them a blow job. How many of the men accept her offer?

Ten random women are approached by a man in ten random bars and he offers offers to eat their pussies. How many of the women accpet his offer?

Your thoughts?

Neighborly

The candles flickered. Even with her eyes closed she could see the gentle shifting light through her eyelids.

A soft, cool draft of air blew across her as if the bathroom door opened and closed. Goose bumps rose on her skin. Her nipples hardened, and her areolas puckered.

She slid deeper into the hot water. It washed over her breasts. Her knees broke the surface, feeling the coolness of the air. Her chin, at the water’s edge, was lapped by the rhythmic ripples of water. Her nose tickled by the scent of lavender.

She promised herself to keep her eyes closed this time, squeezing them just a little tighter, so she didn’t ruin the moment. Her breath quickened slightly. The hot water and the white wine were just what she needed to relax.

Her knees moved apart until they touched either side of the tub. She could feel little bubbles of air dancing through her pubic hairs as they broke loose and floated to the surface.

She was beginning to feel something else too.

She thought about her new neighbor; shirtless, blue jeans, glistening contoured muscles, as he carried boxes into his apartment. She noticed he smiled as he noticed her, noticing him.

Call it a moment. Call it whatever you want. She called it hot. She let the fantasy play, let it take on a life of its own. Was his top button on his Levi’s undone? Were the beads of sweat dancing through his chest hairs?

She wanted so much to touch him…to touch herself; to ride the swell that was forming between her legs. She suddenly realized her hands were gently squeezing her breasts. The tide had risen. The outcome was inevitable.

She began to slowly slide her hand down her torso, feeling the softness, the fine tiny hairs, the air bubbles floating free as she moved her hand further down her belly.

Suddenly she stopped. Her hand was just below her belly button. She wasn’t alone! A strong, but unusually gentle hand rested on her knee. The fingers holding firmly.

She gasped softly. She squeezed her eyes even tighter. Her pelvic muscles tightened in surprise as her pelvis lifted slightly in anticipation toward the firm grip of the hand still on her knee.

The moment lasted forever. Eventually the hand moved, almost imperceptibly, to her inner thigh and began its slow…ever so slow…descent. Her breath quickened.

As the hand reached mid-thigh, her pelvis rocked back and lifted yet higher, knees opening wider, exposing everything between her legs to anyone looking. And she didn’t care.

The strange hand continued. It was getting closer; close enough to feel her pubic hairs. A moment later the hand was on her pussy; its strength, its heat, its dominance.

Her eyes rolled back behind her eyelids. Her head thrust into the tile. Her body slid deeper into the hot water.

The hand! The hand was slowly exploring. A finger was parting her lips. Every sensation within her body was concentrated on one spot. The room was spinning. Her hips were thrusting on their own.

She wanted to open her eyes. She resisted. She knew who it was. She was grateful. Happy. Pleased that her coy smile caught his attention.

A finger found her engorged clit. It began to move with a rhythm she was never able to master on her own. Surrender. Surrender was all she was capable of.

Her breath began to move in sync with the stranger’s finger. Her hips mirrored the motion. The sensations began to build. She squeezed her breasts. Her nipples pulsed.

In that moment…the moment where time stands still…where all sensations seem to coalesce into one full body experience. That moment the body begins to convulse…her pussy begins to contract…moving rapidly…and the body follows in rhythmic waves; one after another.

You’re not breathing. You’re not alive. Your heart’s not beating. Your only sensation is ecstasy and you wish it would last forever.
The strange hand was not relenting. The pleasure was not stopping. Her body was convulsing uncontrollably. She sank below the water – her hands still on her breasts - as she thrust her head backwards. Just before her eyes sank below the surface of the water, she dared to open them. She dared to see her new neighbor gazing down at her. Enjoying her.

Her body convulsed one last time. She felt the release of her orgasm; that moment when every ounce of energy is spent in ecstasy.

Water rushed into her eyes, making it hard to see. And yet, no one was there. No one was kneeling beside the tub.
She lifted her head as fast as she could, splashing water out of the tub. She wiped her eyes to see better and still no one was there.

Yet in that moment, as the candles flickered, and her aftershocks continued, she heard the bathroom door latch softly catch. Or was her imagination playing tricks on her?

She lay there, spent, breathless, happy until the water cooled around her. She couldn’t wait to see her new neighbor again.

Favorite smell: Daphne in the Spring
First Job: Junior Camp Counselor
Dream Job: Traveling yoga teacher
Favorite dog breed: All of them!
Favorite foot attire: Barefoot
Favorite candy bar: Snickers
Favorite ice cream: B&J's Chubby Hubby
Favorite cake: Victoria Sponge Cake
Favorite food: Everything I make
Favorite thing to hear: The stillness
Favorite tv show: Dick Van Dyke Show
Favorite holiday: Thanksgiving
Night or Day person: Both
Favorite day of the week: Sunday
Tattoos: None
Like to cook: Yes, love to cook
Beer or wine? Both
Can you drive a standard? Yes
Skate backwards: Nope
Favorite vegetable: Broccoli
Glasses or contacts: Glasses
Favorite season: Autumn for sure!

Play along too...copy & paste and change your answer!

40 odd things about me . . . Play along!

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes...but I prefer Gorgonzola cheese
2. Coke or Pepsi? Neither! Not into soda but if I were it would be Dr pepper
3. Do you own a gun? Yes
4. What flavor of Kool-aid? Ew! Seriously? So gross!
5. Hot dogs? Yes...with chili and cheese!
6. Favorite TV show? Better Call Saul
7. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
8. What do you drink in the morning? Chocolate protein with peanut butter and spinach
9. Can you do a push-up? Yes
10. Favorite Jewelry? Don't wear jewelry
11. Favorite hobby? Hiking, photography...often combined
12. Do you have ADD? Me? No... squirrel!!
13. Do you wear glasses? Yes
14.Favorite cartoon as a kid? Speed Racer
15. Three things you did yesterday? Yoga, grocery shopping, cooking
16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Water, wine, beer
17. Current worries? What I'm going to do when my current contract is up
18. Do you believe in magic? Yes
19. Favorite place to be? On the Appalachian Trail
20. How did you ring in the new year? Toasted the New Year by myself with a bottle of wine
21. Where would you like to go? Victoria, BC
22. Name five people who will participate in this? No clue!
23. Favorite movie? Anything Pixar
24. Favorite color? Blue
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No clue!
26. Can you whistle? Yes
27. Where are you now? On my couch
28. Where would you rather be right now? In my hammock on a hiking trail
29. Favorite food? My own cooking ( I'm that good.)
30. Thing you hate most to do? Put socks on a toddler
31. Best job you can think of? Full time yoga instructor
32. What's in your pockets? They're empty right now
33. Last thing that made you laugh? My two youngest kids... they're like Laurel and Hardy
34. Favorite animal? Dogs
35. What's your most recent injury? Pulled a psoas muscle
36. How many TV’s are in your house? 3
37. Worst pain ever? A psoas muscle release by my massage therapist
38. Do you like to dance? Yes
39. Are your parents still alive? Yes
40. Do you enjoy camping? Hell yes!

Now copy and paste and update with your answers if you’d like.

I'm always one to give credit where credit is due, so I'd first like to shout out to Gottabeme. She's the amazing NNer that gave me this idea. Thanks, Gottabeme!!

I've been around NN off and on for 10 years. Some may remember me as taystlikchickn and others as dejaview. I've seen lots of photos and read lots of captions and I'd love to offer my years of writing and marketing skills to anyone who wants to polish their NN profile and gallery.

How?! Well this is the idea I got from Gottabeme. She casually mentioned her "pre-post pic inspector" and I was like, "Damn! I'd love that job!" So that's what I'm offering (to women only, coz quite frankly guys I'm still trying to figure out what women want, BUT I know what most guys like and want).

I've always believed in quality over quantity. You don't have to post every pic you take AND we all can tell it's a photo of your ass, pussy, and tits. I know you think we're slow about things but, as guys, we can figure this out without being told in your photo captions.

Here's what I'm offering...I will help you decide what pics to post out of the thousands you take AND offer possible captions to get the most interaction from NNers.

I won't be able to help too many women at once, so let me know if you're interested as soon as you can (assuming anyone even reads my blog!). It's all in fun! No contracts. No fees. No obligations.

I know what you're thinking,"How's it a secret when you've posted it on your blog?" Right?!

It doesn't make sense so let me explain. Chances are if you met me in person...in real life...you would think of me as funny, likable, easy to be with, maybe a little on the goofy side, and a whole lotta vanilla. Vanilla as in not very kinky, or exhibitionistic, or voyeuristic, or experimental, or...well, you get the picture. (BTW, these are just a few of the ways I see myself.)

But there is another side to me that a few people know, some might suspect, but most are clueless of because I hide it well. The reasons why and stuff are for another post - if I ever feel like sharing it. I only bring it up now to explain why I have a "secret bucket list." Because 99.9% of the people I know don't know this side of me.

And since none of you know me in real life - yet - and we share a certain common interest I feel safe putting my list out there in the world for, well, at least you folks to see.

So...here it is! My Secret Bucket List (in no particular order)...

1. Go to a nude beach (without my clothes, of course).
2. Take a naked co-ed yoga class.
3. Have a professional photographer (hell, I'd be happy with an amateur photographer) do an artistic nude photo shoot with me.
4. Make a passionately hot sex video with a woman who's into sex.
5. Meet someone from NN in real life.
6. Hook up with someone from NN in real life. (5 and 6 are distinct from each other.)
7. Do a photo shoot with someone on NN and be in their gallery with them.
8. Stay at a nudist retreat/resort.
9. Explore different kinks and fetishes.
10. Repeat anything I really enjoy.

I don't know. Maybe you have some suggestions. Or, Hahaha, maybe you can help out.

What would be on your secret bucket list? Let me know. I might find it inspirational. XO