thanks to gelio!

Guy walks into a bar and says, "Give me a bin Laden." Bartender looks up and says "What? A bin Laden?!" Guy says, "Yeah, a bin Laden. You know... Two shots and a splash of water

God Loves Drinking People Too



A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.



The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.



"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"



He slams the door and returns to bed.



"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.



"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloody pouring rain out there!"



"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?



I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!

"God loves drunk people too you know."



The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.



He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"



"Yes," comes back the answer.



"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.



"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.



"Where are you?" asks the husband.



"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

The World’s Shortest Psychiatric Joke”

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of
Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, ‘Well, I can clearly see your nuts.”

Besides candy I gave up NN (eye candy)for Lent. I did lapse and
googled a big boobs site one night and wouldn't you know it I got a virus. That will teach me.Glad to be back, to catch up with my friends and all the sexy, hot pics of you lovely ladies.Here is an Easter Sunday cock pic for you -LOL!

This 13 minute short film still haunts me from when I first saw it in college. Shorter versions are here also on youtube if that is too long for you. Hope it gets to you too!
[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S03Aw5HULU&feature=related[/url]

Someone has written these beautiful words. One must read and try to understand the deep meanings in them. They are like the Ten Commandments to follow in life all the time.

1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble; it is a "steering wheel" that directs us in the right path throughout life.

2] Do you know why a car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.

3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4] All things in life are temporary. If going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong don't worry, they can't last long either.

5] Old friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a base of Gold!

6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!

7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision."

9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them; and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES;
it takes away today's PEACE.

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"


The cop asked, "What's he like?"


The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Jack Daniels whiskey, Budweiser and women with big boobs."

....was so cool looking last night. It was unseasonably warm and the passing clouds made the sky look like something from a Werewolf or Dracula movie.Later the clouds were gone and the moonlight was incredible.