So Friday, after I was off from work, I went back home. Just in time to see the start of the World Cup with boyfriend. Yep, Friday afternoon his mostly back home. Anyhow I had to do that little thingy. Bring mrs. Tinkerbell's mail. So I gather all my courage and knocked on her door. But nobody opened. And for a second, I was thinking just to leave it in front of her doorstep, but then I thought what if someone takes it. I don’t want to be blamed if her mail would be missing. So I decided to take it with me and try later. Maybe even send boyfriend to give it to her.

So anyhow, like 30 minutes later, someone knocked on my door. And just like I expected it was her with the dogs, Sissy and Sassy. She said, “I thought u would be home now”. I smiled and said “Let me take your mail” (and the key of her mailbox). So while I was going to the kitchen, she was standing in the door opening. And she asked: “So how was you’re day dear?”. I answered from my kitchen, “Busy like usually”. On which she replies: “You must be exhausted working so late. I saw your lights on yesterday night!”. I did not reply on that first comment, seeing it is not something I need to explain why I was up late. Or what I was doing. But it just proves that she must keep a close eye on me.

So while I was giving her the mail, she said: ‘I see you painted’, looking at my dining room. But I’m sure she knew that already. She knows like everything. After that there was like an awkward silent moment. She looked at me like she wanted to be invited. And I already felt uncomfortable. Smiling and eventually asking her if she wanted to look. Before i really could answer, she already came inside. Of course followed by Sissy and Sassy.

While we were all looking at the dining room, I did not really know what to say. So she probably wanted to brake the ice by saying “you painted yourself?”. I replied that we indeed paint it our self. Then she gave a comment: “a good painter is so expensive”. She looked at me and said, “But you are both young!”. I did not understand that, but it was probably something mean. Or at least in my head it sounded like that.

Luckily she said then, “I have to go now dear. Give my regard to your boyfriend, I hear his back home.” Probably wanted to mention that she heard the television playing. And I was like, “Ooh, ok”. Still a bit uncomfortable around her. While she was walking to her front door, she said: “Thank you dear. I wouldn’t know what to do without you”. Again didn’t know what to say. So I just smiled. After I closed my door, I was like that was quick but strange. I still have the feeling she wasn’t there to mock our painting skills. Maybe she forgot the real reason. But the next days I will have to be very quiet to avoid her.

I consider myself as an easy going person. Or at least I think so. And I get along with most people. But there is one person I always try to avoid. And that is...my neighbour. She is a lovely old lady, but she is so... Words can’t describe her. She is like 64. Has no kids, so she adopted two Chihuahua dogs. Yah, we call her mrs TINKERBELL just for that. You never see her without those dogs. Her husband is now a retired police officer and the sweetest guy ever. I wonder what married life must be with her?

So this morning, I was locking up my place. Just like I want to walk to the elevator, she opened her front door. Just wearing a robe she asked me: “ooh good morning! Could you be a dear and pick up my mail downstairs?” And I’m like: “But I’m not coming back, just going to my work”. And she replies: “No hurry, you can bring it to me when you are back from your work. Here you have the key of my mailbox”. She gives it to me, smiles and says I’m such a good girl. And goes back in closing the door. I’m still standing there with the key in my hand, just wondering what just happened.

I have no problems helping people. If I can do something, I do it. But I so know her. She didn’t ask me just so I would empty her mailbox. She wants to know something. Or just want to make my life hard. The first years I lived there, I thought she was lonely. But after all the stuff she done these last years, I can understand why people avoid her. One time she asked me of her window washer should do my windows too. Seeing I’m so often abroad, and I don’t have much time. It would be a good idea to have someone who does the cleaning. And the way she said it was like: “you need to do your windows”. And my windows never are real dirty. But I don’t wash them like every week. So that are the things that drive my crazy. The comments she says.

I always smile, try not to say something. Never know how she trained her two Chihuahua dogs! But I have a feeling that one day I will just strangle her. Or just buy a cat and drop it in front of her with her two dogs! But that’s not me, I’m a humanist.

I know I shouldn’t, but she can make me feel so frustrated. I’m almost sneaking out each day, but for some reasons she always knows how to catch me. I think she is probably spying on me.

So now I’m thinking what she will tell me tonight. What’s on her mind? Maybe I made to much noise yesterday night while I was playing. But this time it was a LOVE SONG, no hardcore music. It will be something that I will not like. But yah, she is my neighbour, so I will smile once again. Or attack her with my brandnew nails.

Yesterday I broke one of my nails. Just playing guitar. Maybe I was just caught in the moment, thinking I’m one of those punk/hard rock chicks. But I’m so not that though. I don’t really care about my nails. It is just a stupid nail. But for some reason I can’t stop thinking of that moment just before I ripped it off. And now a feel like “why did you have to play that kind of music?”. “Couldn’t you stay with a love song?”

Maybe I was stupid to play it like that. But I’m so inexperience when it comes to my guitar. And I seem to make a lot of mistakes when i'm trying to figure out how to make the right sound. Disappointing myself in my skills. But I’m learning to be a good player. I think it is just me trying to make it difficult. Instead of starting easy, I want to bang the ‘fucking’ guitar. And I know that is not good for the guitar or for me.

But tonight I will try to patch up my nail. And start playing a love song, instead of ‘life is a rollercoaster’ from Ronan Keating. Well, not his version, my hard punk version of it. Just hope the guitar is not to damage after yesterdays play session.

I’m so lucky. Besides being surrounded with so much love, I have such great friends. Yesterday I hanged out with some. And I feel so happy after last night. On moments like that I realise how lucky I am. How important it is to have that special thing. And you can only hope your words are enough to express your feelings, your thoughts.

Of course you have ‘friends’ and you have ‘FRIENDS’. I’m talking about friends with who you can talk about plumbing problems, but also with whom you can share your deepest thoughts. Friends that have had a peek behind the pictures. Those have seen the bad moments, but also the best. I don’t have many friends like that, but I do have some.

It’s maybe lame to say that money doesn’t buy happiness, but it is so true. Of course you can’t deny that money makes to world turn, but it is so unreal. Just don’t last forever. I have learned you can be happy with less. Just the people around you that make you feel rich. And with some you want to be close forever.

So now I’m sitting in my office. Seeing the signs of my wealth, my success. And honestly, I would probably give it all up. Of course I would miss the shoes, the trips, the blender, … but it is all so replaceable. The only thing I don’t want to give up is that precious thing. Because it is all what i need now to be happy.

Today boyfriend is gone again for some days. That’s not unusual, seeing each week he has to make this work trip. So I can enjoy the freedom of being alone again. Well if you can call it that... Seriously, I’m always looking forward to the weekends when his back. And luckily I have my friends that keep me busy during the lonely days.

But although I miss him, I could strangle his neck sometimes. Especially on Tuesdays! Thing is, his departure goes always with the same problem. Making his luggages. Every week I tell him make u bags Monday night. So you don’t have to hurry Tuesday morning. But every week ... he doesn’t listen to me. And who does pack it eventually. This poor girl.

So this morning, 5 AM, the alarm went off. I roll over and I’m thinking to myself, ‘Is it already time?’. So boyfriend comes laying besides me and said to me: ‘Sleep a bit more. I just have to do some things before i'm going today”. When he says something like that, I know I will not have a lot of sleep. But this time, I wanted to brake the vicious circle. So I decided not to set a food out of the bed.

While I was trying to get some sleep again, I hear him walking around. A few minutes later he comes in. “You know where my ...” And I’m like, “You looked in the closet”. The next moments are like, I don’t see it anywhere! You washed it? Maybe you misplaced it!

And I’m like, @!$@... So finally I get out of bed, and start giving him the stuff he needs. Then when finally everything is in his bag, he said to me: “You think I forgotten something?” And I’m like, I just packed you bags. How could you forget something then? He bends over, gives me a kiss and said, “You really didn’t have to help. I would have done it myself”.

I call him ‘PRINCE CLOWN’. He is just so funny ... I’m even laughing when he says stuff like that. But yah, living with him is not always sunshine. And if you would ask him, he would say the same about me. Now his gone again this week and I’m already looking forward to next week 'packing ritual'.

We decided yesterday to go to the beach. It was again a sunny day and boyfriend wanted to check his boat. Maybe even go for some sailing. And I just wanted to taste the sun. Finally make some work of a tan.

Not long after we were driving, boyfriend went off the highway to stop at a petrol station. And while we were there he also wanted to check the shop. Just to have the usual amount of candies and drinks. You never can have enough lollypops on a trip like that.

Anyhow, while he was looking around at the shop I decided to visit the restroom. You have to answer the call of nature! When I finally found it the toilet lady told me that the girl’s toilet was out of order. Flooded or something like that. But I could use the guy’s restroom. And I have no problem with that. Just an opportunity to check it out!

So while I was reading all the ‘WORDS of WISEDOM’ that was scrawled on the toilet door, someone took the toilet stall next to me. And the moments that followed... Just say it was THUNDER in PARADISE. He probably had eaten something spicy that day.

When I met up with boyfriend again, and when I told him all about my unique experience, he was teasing me all day long. Comments like: “Oooh, some guys were probably thinking it was you. Did she had a baby in there perhaps??”. Yah right, like I could make that much noise! The guys restroom was... very memorable. One thing: it's like the yellow pages inthere, so many phone numbers.

And the beach... It was very nice, and I really enjoyed the FRESH AIR. Even more then before.

I’m in love... with some shoes. I found the perfect ones yesterday: blue ‘Escade’ shoes. Only problem, the price tag: € 645,00.

I knew I couldn’t spend that kind of money. Even if I would have used all my charms later that night, boyfriend would still have killed me. And knowing what some have to do to earn that kind of money... Oooh, I would be so ashamed of spending it on something like that.

But like ‘dawnt25’ and like so many other women I have a weak for shoes. The right ones can make us feel like a princess. And just like the brothers ‘Grimm’ or ‘Hans Christian Anderson’ I think shoes can have something MAGICAL. Even maybe bring some luck.

Although I didn’t buy the overpriced ‘Escade’ shoes, I’m still Cinderella. And it is so much cheaper for the prince. And like each fairytale, magic also happened at the strike of midnight... (but with € 145,00 shoes).

A new day. The sun is shining, the birds are... Seems like it is summer for once. After that cold day from yesterday, I need some sun. And I need to thank boyfriend for taking care of me. He even made dinner, and I really enjoyed his cooking skills. Also thanks for the nice comments on my blog. It really helps to write stuff of me. Always feels better if I can just say what is on my mind. Thanks

So today I’m the 'happy girl' like always. Maybe because boyfriend promised me to go shopping. Which girl doesn’t like to spend money of her boyfriend. Makes us always happy (wink to all the NN guys). And even boyfriend is looking forward too it, because his still in the bathroom. Or maybe he is stalling!

And then we will see what the day will bring us. I believe tonight we will hang out with our friends. Yep, the famous bunch all together again. But this time I will stay with the lemonade.

I’m looking forward to this day. Having fun, enjoying the sun, enjoying boyfriend,...Quality time at last.

Oooh, if you were wondering: shoes are on the program. I need some nice slippers for the summer.

Yesterday night friends of us came over. Seeing we all had to stay home instead of sightseeing Brussels, we decided to hang out with each other. What else can you do on a Thursday night, besides watching television.

The night started all good. Talking, having laughs, eating and drinking. But this morning... I can say without a doubt that white wine is very dangerous. But the hangover isn’t the worst thing for me. I’m more embarrassed that I even got drunk amongst my friends. I have always considered myself as a very pride, strong woman. And I like to have control about how I appear amongst others. For some reason I find it important what they think about me.

And when wine is starting to have an effect on me, I do and say things I regret later on. I don’t really remember details about what I said, or what I just did that night. But I remember how I felt.

And now I’m wondering what my friends will think of me. Boyfriend tells me I shouldn’t really be embarrassed about that, I’m just human after all. And I know that is so true, but I would take my actions back if I could ... Just hoping I didn’t embarrassed anyone. And if i did, i'm so sorry about it. Just don’t like it when people see the other, not so strong me. When I’m weak.

I will survive, and I will face me friends again. But today I just want to crow in a hole (in the ground). So not want to face the real world,... Life can be hard...

Today we were planning to go to Brussels with friends. So I took a day off. But last minute something came up. So now I had like a whole day to fill. And besides making drinks for boyfriend, who painted a bit more, I didn’t really do a lot (you can’t clean for hours and hours).

This afternoon boyfriend got a call to pick up a friend. I stayed behind, protecting our goods for mugs. Especially the LCD (lol). And I thought by myself, it is the right moment to take care off myself. Seeing I have the place for myself now.

That just mean, a nice face mask. My hair up with some curly things. Just the big maintenance we women all have to do sometimes.

And that is time we so need for our self. You just don’t want to admit you have moments you feel less pretty. And certainly don’t want boyfriend to see you like this.
But like always on such moments friends drops in. And of course the conversation was quickly going over my beauty. Not long after that I was starting to laugh already with the comments. And it must be funny to see me like that (at least once in a lifetime).

Although my beauty treatment didn’t go like I planned, I didn’t mind. When I’m having fun, I always feel pretty, even when I have mud on my face. Life is beautiful ...