I don't want it. The blog was complete. I even had the 'not to worry' explanation all laid out. I don't want it. I don't want to be in that place. I am uncertain if the gloomy portrait I painted ever existed, or if I painted myself to look like it. I do know I am not that person, while alone in this appt I am not in that place. I can write about a murder, but I don't want it. I can write about not being right or enough, but I don't want it. Even if I can't touch a heart, I will write of want, and of its beauty. I'm tired of me hurting me. I think it's time to give myself a resbit to dream without trying to balance hope with nightmare.

Lying in soft bed, wishing you were here
The scent of your hair, as you are drawn near

With eyes closed, I feel your weight on my chest
In that moment, for once I will know rest

My mind lies still, peace found in an embrace
A heart now warmed, by soft beautiful face

Here and now, so much I long to do
In this moment, to be like this with you

Finding warm slumber in moments like those
Lying with you in love's perfect repose

gentle inviting lips
awaiting loving fingertips

a kiss not yet begun
dark eyes close, stresses all undone

a touch from a warm heart
caressing lips that slowly part

in this moment we touch
never have I wanted so much

I ache and long to feel
lips over lips, a dream too real

Easter is a time for chocolate. Women do so seem to adore chocolate. I think age has finally given me the answer to why. The key to sexy glowing beautiful chocolate is temping. Temping provides a beautiful finish to the chocolate and the delicate crisp that is found just before the lovely morsel yields to warm mouth. It is a bit labor intensive, but the result cannot be argued. A wondrous sensual creation tempting the eyes, and melting easily under warm mouth and touch.

The key to temping is temperature. Chocolate is a solid with little or no moisture. When brought to the right temperature it becomes fluid and melts. One cannot rush the process, or melt the chocolate all at once. A portion must be brought to the melting point, gently stirred and watch closely. When it is time, add the remainder in.

This is vital. I cannot rush the process. I must bring the temp up slowly, but not on all of her. As she melts, stir gently, making sure that the melt is complete and she is moving like a smooth flowing liquid. Then let her cool just enough that the difference between what has melted and what remains becomes an almost painful contrast. Now is the time to add in what is left of you. Bringing the temp back up slowly, I can watch in wonder as the last of your pieces melt, the temp is perfect, and you are complete. Now it is time for me to work with my treat. Now I can produce that beautiful glow. I can feel your body yield to my every touch, every caress, every kiss.

The answer is simple. Women adore chocolate because in many ways it is just like them. With enough effort and the right temping, they become a glowing sensuous treat for the senses.

good day beautiful young miss
wherever you may fly
a shame to see you off like this
more than one teary eye
See you someday soon sweet miss
till then, one more teary goodbye

something very nice about just being with the one you love and just be...


still the one


can we spend some time together


through the years

Such as it is, I will always be this man. Good, bad, or indifferent, I've come to understand. I am neither more nor less than me. It took many breaks, aches, and near deaths to see. In the end, it's only me. A caring, 'meh' looking sort of man, with a large heart and warm hands, who can see beautiful things, and on occasion give them voice. Neither last in line nor the obvious 1st choice. Not insane, but slightly askew of right mind. No haven for all, but for one, just one, a fated find.

Just one kiss
To melt the day
Just one caress
To wash it away

Just one moment
To be who I am
Just one embrace
To truly understand

Just one heart
To hold secure
Just one love
Forever endure

I need a big black hat
Maybe a baseball bat
A machine gun rat ta tat tat
Scream out loud 'you dirty rat.'