clickmenudie's blog post - 2 weeks porn- and masturbation-free

Well it's been 14 days since I last looked at porn and jerked off. It feels good; though yesterday was pretty hard. I was having flashbacks of images that really turn me on, but I left home and occupied myself with something else (making sure cars didn't hit me while I rode my bike). Eyeing girls up was a lot harder to repress, and I do think it's harmless, as long as you don't do it intensely and in a creepy fashion. So, I just let my eyes and imagination do their thing (while I carefully rode along).

I still struggle with my real-life libido. I think of sex often; I fantasize with women continuously, but it's all in my imagination. It's hard to shake off years of a highly active vicarious sex life. One of the consequences is that I don't always want to have sex with my partner. The switch goes on about twice or 3 times a month; but I trust it'll get better as I get used to not looking at porn any more.

Fear does strike me sometimes, however. A thought assaults me from time to time: I've been in a faithful(ish) monogamous relationship for nearly 10 years. I'm in my early 30s. Women still look at me. Is wanting other women most of the time just a product of our highly-sexualized consumerist culture (hipster comment anyone?)? Or is it just normal? Maybe it'd be healthy to have a fling once in a while. I don't know. It gives me a reason to keep blogging under this anonymous persona.