Just a quick update to let you know that I'm having my next surgery on Friday. I told the surgeon to take a good tissue margin because I'm NOT going through chemo or radiation again, as it nearly killed me 2 years ago. I've decided that this is it for me. Keep me in your thoughts. Thanks to all of my wonderful friends here on NN, I love you all. Fran

Everything was going great until around 7 weeks ago when my oncologist found somethng "not right" with my blood. Subsequent tests showed that I had a recurrence of my cancer, this time in the pelvic wall. What's strange is that I'm really not feeling bad physically, but emotionally I've been a train wreck.. The MD is recommending surgery to remove the growth followed by another round of radiation and chemo. I told him that I would decide after the holidays on a course of treatment inasmuch as the chemo nearly killed me twice before. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do.

Fran

Hi everyone... I'm so happy to report that I'm finally starting to feel a bit better and have some of my stamina back. Hopefully the worst of this is over. My hormone medications seem to have kicked in and I'm doing well there too. I'm still taking some cancer meds and will have to for at least 5 years or so.

More good news is that I felt good enough to go back to work half time 2 weeks ago and maybe in another 2 weeks will be up to full time again. I missed being at work and the social interaction that it provides. I was doing hair at my house for the last 2 months, but it's not the same as being in the salon.

Thanks to all of you for the lovely notes & comments supporting me through all of this. Love you all... Fran

Hi NN friends,

I'm not going to go into all the gory details, but my cancer has definitely progressed to stage 3, possibly hitting one of my kidneys. I started chemo in early June and after my third IV session, had a seizure (allergic reaction) and was hospitalized for over a week to stabilize my body. After a week recuperating, I restarted with a new set of meds (also IV) and had another allergic reaction, not as severe as the first, but they put in the hospital for 3 days for observation and as a precaution. Since then I've been taking oral meds and my body is tolerating them better... better meaning nausea, diarrhea, severe abdominal cramping, fatigue etc. Obviously I've been unable to work and have more or less quit. My mom who had been planning to retire at the end of the year, moved it up and retired in mid June and has been my nurse (along with Mary of course). My girlfriend Mary is out of town a lot, so I've been mostly staying with my Mom and sometimes going to my place on the weekend to give her a break. As you may know, I'm stubbornly independent, but for the first time I've become dependent, which is something I dont' want to be... a burden to anyone. I joined a support group at the hospital and at least one has the comfort of knowing that you are not unique in your miserable situation. The only positive is that my weight has held in the mid 90's (pounds) but I have to drink mega doses of Ensure & Gatorade to keep it there as I'm losing lots of fluids.

I'm in a 3 week "rest" window and will begin the meds again around the middle of August for 2 weeks and then another "rest" period.

So now you know all there is to know... I'm just sorry it's not better news, but hopefully that's coming down the road.

Again... sorry for being so long.... and thanks to so many of my friends here for "caring", it really means a lot to me.

xo Franni

Well, I'm sorry to report that things aren't going all that well. The radiation treatments were only partially successful and I'm soon going to begin a series of aggressive chemo treatments, which will hopefully arrest the cancer that has spread. The cancer is approaching stage III (IV being the highest) and as the stages get higher, the likelihood of survival gets lower... ugh.

Please understand that I'm not looking very good recently and that any pics I post will be at least a year old. Thanks to all the great folks here.. I appreciate all of you.

much love, Franni

OK.. things are too much the same for me. To be direct, I feel like SHIT, lol. Dog tired all the time, no energy... weight not going up... but at least not going down any more at the moment, which I guess is good. I'm having a lot of side issues with the estrogen I'm taking and may decide to stop it for a while.. have to talk to my MD and do some more research myself. As for the cancer... we don't know anything new. I'm likely going to have an MRI in a month or so to see if it has spread any more. Obviously the hysterectomy did not get everything, which is why I've been going through all this crap the past 8 months. My Mom and gf Mary are worried sick... they don't say it, but I can see it in their faces. I'm trying not to show it either, but one look at me right now, all skin and bones and you know something isn't right. In any case, I'm trying to laugh more than cry, it's much better therapy and really work on thinking positive and generating some positive energy.

to all my friends here.. thanks for caring and for you sweet comments. Obviously I'm not posting any current pics, hope you don't mind.

xo franni

I've been in a major funk... totally ignoring all my mails and not posting any pics.

Yes, it's my health... again..... I had some followup work done by my oncologist just after new year's and he discoved some lingering (returning/spreading) cancer cells, so here I go again.... I'm in the middle of 5 more weeks of radiation therapy. I really don't where this is all going, other than downhill, lol. Chemo is not an option at the moment because of some allergies that I have... it likely would only be a last resort treatment as it possibly could do more harm than good.

Don't meant to dump this on my great friends here, but my therapist says I need to get it out and deal with it.. xo franni

Obviously I haven't been on line much these past few months.

I've had a severe bout of depression, which is totally NOT the norm for me. To make a long story short, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in early June and after a couple of biopsies wound up having a total hysterectomy in July.

The idea that I'll never be able to get pregnant and have a family really did me in for a while. Luckily I have a great support network of family and friends that has been amazing in putting up with me.

I'm only starting to tell folks, not really into broadcasting that kind of news... at least not yet. I've gone to a therapist (hate those people,lol), and she said it was good to talk about it and not hold it in, so I'm starting to tell people... not for the sympathy factor, but to get it out and move on.

But I'm doing one thousand percent better and am going to be OK.

Hope to be posting more often soon.

xo Franni

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
At a local Italian Restaurant

Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Sometimes, but only because of who it was, not losing it.

If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
Being there when my Father had his heart attack, maybe ... maybe.. if only...

Name of your first grade teacher?
Miss Mollineux

What do you really want to be doing right now?
Traveling

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Be a hairstylist, and I've done that

How many colleges did you attend?
Just one, LIU, unless you count Beauty "College" too, lol

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
What shirt?

What are your thoughts on gas prices?
Americans have no idea how good they have it.. we still pay less than half that any European nation pays.. get over it already. We are soooo spoiled as a nation. Buy stock in oil companies, you won't be sorry.

If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
I like it here (close to the beach) and like to travel. Though I'd like to move to a warmer climate.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I gotta pee

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I was so tired, I was brain dead, lol

Do you miss being a child?
Of course, don't we all, no stress, life was simpler

What errand/chore do you despise?
Cleaning the bathroom... I'm with Beth on this one by far

If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
I've been volunteering off and on for a couple of years now
Get up early or sleep in?
Early. I don't sleep well or a lot.

What is your favorite cartoon character?
none really

Have you found real love yet?
Yes and No sigh..

When did you first start feeling old?
When I turned 30, and now I'm closer to 40 than 30...ugh.

Your favorite lunch meat?
Pizza

What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
Groceries

beach or lake?
beach, but go to some friends lake house during the summer

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No, but it's overrated and I think ANYONE should be allowed to marry

Do you own property?
kind of... my mom deeded half the house to me when my Dad died.

Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I'm not embarrassed that I like Mel Brooks.. anything We're not talking "adult" movies are we?

What's your favorite drink?
anything "diet"
Cowboys or Indians?
I can go either way, lol

Cops or Robbers?
Cops.

Who from high school would you like to run in to?
No one in particular, I run into HS friends all the time
What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
it's not.... Diana Krall CD

Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Both,

Grey's or 'The Office?
neither, I like CSI

Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Getting married way too young

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
No one in particular

Indoors or Outdoors?
Both, depending on what I'm doing

Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
minor fender bender

Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No
Last book you read?
Cross by James Patterson

Do you have a teddy bear?
Doesn't everyone?

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
In the woods

Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
LA and San Diego

Do you go to church?
No, I don't believe in organized religion

At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
career is fine, my body clock is ticking away and I think I'd like to start a family.. maybe, lol

How old are you?
36

1-touch her by her waist
2-talk to them
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly

are you remembering this?

6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with your friends

keep reading

11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved

Are you thinking about someone?

16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!

..20 u need to show her you mean it too

21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can still help

we might deny it but we accutally like and kinda want you to get us things

26-don't lie to her
27-dont cheat on her
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

are you still reading this u better be its important

31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her

remember this next time you are with her

36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always Remind her how much you love her