gonedogcrazy's blog post - Endings and New beginnings

I close my eyes and I see you standing at the bar the night we said goodbye. I am standing close to you and it gets sudddenly hot in the beer garden. We smile at each other and I feel light headed and I bump you with my shoulder not knowing what else to do you are a mate nothing more someone who brings joy to my life but dont be silly nothing more. As I look into you eyes I see a flash of something and then the barmaid asks what would you like and its gone what ever it was. We get our drinks and move to the table where all your workmates are laughing and joking and you sit as far away as possible but I can still feel you near me, smell you and it is like a fire has started in my stomach and has made its way down till it feels like I am on fire.I look around the table and hope no one has noticed me wriggling in my chair.

Then before I know it its last drinks and we are walking home and as I drunkenly amble along I want to tell you everything I am feeling but there are too many people and I dont want to get rejected the thought of you laughing and finding it silly stops me and I stop at your place on the street have a small argument about me walking home alone and all I want to do is kiss you long and deep and never stopping instead i say good bye give you a hug and wishing it would never stop. I turn and walk away knowing that this is it. Your not coming back and I miss an oppurtuniy to tell you properly truly how I feel.

And as i walk up the street my heart is breaking tears falling and I know its silly, me and you can never be I am married you got your own demons to slay. But god how it hurt arms aching to hold you, lips wanting to kiss you, body wanting to love you long and hard.

I dry my tears and sit out the front to have a smoke and my phone lights up and its you saying goodbye again and my heart skips a beat and I am feeling light headed again.

And thats how it starts two friends needing each other and the universe opening up to a million possibilities, a million questions and the most glorious friendship a girl could ask for.

Little clues, little suggestions, a hint here and a dirty story there and my pants are wet, my pussy on fire and everything is right in the world. And I ache for you again and it starts a hot thing, dont know what to call it, that has me on the brink all the time and I cant wait to see you again and to love you the way you should be. No questions no regret just a little of that human touch.


Love you