gonedogcrazy's blog post - Life

Sitting here listening to my old 80s music thinking about life and all its twists and turns I have to thank god for the people I have met and the places I have been.

Have had a bad couple of weeks and have had a chance to reaccess the things that are important to me. Family because you never know when some one will be taken away and you will never get the oppotunity to tell them what you really feel. So hold your family close and tell them everyday that you love them. Friends too need to be honoured and cherished. Do not let stupid ideas and thoughts or impulses ruin something that is true and honest. Grab friendship with two hands and cherish it because if your like me and find it hard to connect with people
you cant afford to lose even one. I am trully thankful for the connections I have made and the friendships I have forged and maybe one day I will be able to tell them myself how important they are.

I have also learned that you should not harbour grudges and things that happened when you were a child. They just eat away at you and make your soul dark. I recently met my real dad the man who sired me and gave me a lot demons that I have carried with me through out my life because I was four and its the only thing I remember. But seeing him at my nephews funeral made me realise I had wasted a lot of time hating him. He is a small very sick old man who was so happy to see me and as he has cancer wants to connect so that we can at least build some bridges and mend some fences before he dies. He will never take the place of the man who wiped my nose, tucked me in or gave me a hiding when I needed it. But he is where I come from and its good to see that now. I can see me in him and know I am not a changling.

For all these things I am thankful for. I love my husband who has tolerated my mentalness and accepts me for who I am, weird nuerotic and some times a little fucked up. I am thankful that I live in this small minded town in the middle of bum fuck because I have had the honour of meeting some trully incredible people who have helped me grow as a person and learn to live life to the full and to stop worrying about my body shape, my weird mind or my confidence issues. They know who I am and they accept me for me and I love them for that. They have influenced my life and helped me grow into a better person. So be willing to learn trust your heart and never doubt yourself or be afraid to take a leap of faith.

So when I am feeling down and think I am a horrible person I put on the Smiths and remember the days of dancing around my handbag with dead flowers in my back pocket, I remember the nights of laughter I shared with the people who I call friends and I come on here to meet some more interesing people who dont care if you 40ish lumpy and just discovering herself.