Tickets have just been purchased for a Halloween-themed haunted experience.

I won't be admitted unless I sign a waiver.

It is interactive, meaning the actors can touch you. That part is optional and I think it's in my best interest if I do NOT opt in.

The last time I did anything similar to this was 5 years ago and I developed the theory that I wouldn't get scared if I couldn't see, so I closed my eyes when I felt the need.

This is guaranteed to terrify me.

I'm going to have nightmares.

I can't wait!!

"Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts."

[[We curse a lot. It's not our fault, we attended Catholic school for 10 years.]]

Sibling: When is he going to concede? I want to see his shit-eating grin disappear while he's xxxxxx to swallow his own shit.

Sibling: I hope his wife doesn't look him in the eye.

Me: Which one?

Sibling: Paul Ryan.

Happy New Year!

I know I've been MIA lately.

The last 6 months were nuts.

I was hospitalized for several days and someone close to me passed away. Dealing with both of those events took a lot out of me.

I got a new job.

Then school started.

Then I got another job.

I was insanely busy, working everyday and spending 12 hours or more on campus.

For those of you who weren't sure, I take my academics very seriously.

I took 5 classes, worked about 34 hours a week, expanded my wardrobe considerably and kept my fingers crossed.

My GPA is a 3.8 *exhales*

And I didn't have to seduce any of my professors!

h0tcumm0dity*

I'm making a pizza while I write this

this might be boring for some of you, it's a completely non-sexual post. but if you can make a sex joke out of something I've written on here, I'll give you a prize. or share my pizza or something. idk, we'll negotiate that part later

I spend much of my online time browsing two websites.

the first is Texts From Last Night. it makes me giggle. good shit on there. it would make my day to submit a text that makes the cut and is posted there. I have a top 5 all-time favorites list that I've composed for my own amusement. I might need to expand the list to a top 10 at some point.

the second is Rate My Professor. now, I check this site for my own benefit, to see if the professors whose classes I enroll in for upcoming semesters are freaking batshit crazy. very often the things I read on this site make me giggle too.

here are the more colorful remarks of my professors for next semester:

"Imagine if Bobby Hill were your math teacher."

"Reminds me of Adolf Hitler."

"She really knows what she's talking about. The problem is, she's the ONLY one."

"He gives you extra credit if you draw on your exams." (This is for a History class.)

"He mentions the words 'kinky' at least twice per lecture."

"Kind of boring, but she brought food."

"Does not need to be a teacher. Does not understand ethnicity and diversity. Needs additional training in human services or students' needs."

I should have an interesting time this fall, to say the least

one of my professors this spring was rather unusual. I asked a few other people's opinions to make sure I wasn't overreacting about some of the things she's done.

she's instructed the class not to email her about grades and to instead see her during her office hours. some other students in my class said when they went to her office hours she told them they were 'wasting her time'.

I asked my mom what she thought about it and I think her response summed it up accurately: "When you're a teacher and you're annoyed when students inquire about their grades is like being a mother and being annoyed when your baby cries."

I personally didn't have any trouble with this professor. my grades were fine so I didn't have any reason to need to meet with her. she didn't seem to appreciate students emailing her whatsoever, so I read between the lines and didn't email her. (the one time I did was when she emailed our class saying she was sick and that class was cancelled that day. I emailed her back saying get well soon and she emailed me back to say 'thanks so much for the kind words'.) another reason I don't want to make waves is because I may see her again while I work on my undergrad classes. I know for a fact that I'll see her again in the Masters program and I'm going to choose my battles. if I piss her off, it's going to be for a good reason.

she takes her time when it comes to grading things. I like to know my grade asap personally but I wasn't going to stress her about it since it was the end of the semester and everybody was scrambling to turn things in on time. and I knew my grade was going to be decent, it wasn't a case where it was like 'omg am I gonna pass this class?? *nailbiting'

anyway, people emailed her about our final exam grades. the due date for our grades being posted isn't until tomorrow so I figured a few days after that if I didn't see my grade, maybe I'd do something about it. the students in my class were already extremely agitated with her because she didn't post the study guides for our final exam until Tuesday of last week, when the final was the next day. more than a few people told me she was rude to them when she responded to them and she said that it would take longer for the study guides to be posted online if people kept emailing her.

so I received a mass email from her that stated that she was closing access to the course until the final grades were in becaue she had received so many emails after instructing us to be patient and that some of the emails weren't appropriate.

My thoughts on this:

these 'inappropriate' emails were students in my class who emailed her asking about our grade. she responded rudely. and then they responded rudely.
before the final exam the students in my class were really going in on her. it was hysterical. they'd been annoyed with her all semester but after the study guide catastrophe, they'd had it.

some of the comments they were making:

"she doesn't have any children, that's why she's such a bitch."
(personally, I don't think the cause necessarily determines the effect. I know plenty of sweet, charming, pleasant childless people.)

"when I see her on her motorcycle, I'm going to run her off the road."

"you assign so much work that has to be completed online and then you won't let me use my laptop? get real bitch."
(hah. I see the commenter's point. also, to really appreciate that comment, you must say it out loud ostentatiously.)

back on topic, after I read that email from my prof, I thought she was whining like a child who didn't get her way. that's how it sounded to me and that's how it came off to me. "too many emails with people giving me attitude like I've been giving them all semester long so I'm shutting down online access."

*sigh* at least I'm done with that class now. and I got an A.

my GPA dropped a bit soo that's a bummer. I'm trying not to take it too hard. so far I'm at a 3.7 from a 3.9. it's not easy to maintain a 3.9 sooo . . . I'm gonna keep reminding myself that. *pout*

pizza's done

*h0tcumm0dity

after months of practicing, I managed to get myself off last night. it required concentration and using my imagination but it worked. and then I did it again

now that I did it twice in a row, I'm sure I can do it all by myself again. I'm still in search of the perfect toy, but I think I'll have to make an investment in the vibrating panties soon. especially now that the weather is warmer and school is almost done for the semester. I can't wait to completely shed my winter clothing and engage in some outdoor debauchery.

and I just wanted to say thanks to the person who was so sweet to gift me with a month of premium membership. that was awfully nice and I really enjoyed using it

h0tcumm0dity*

I got hit on in front of my mother. I do not handle that kind of thing well, in case you were wondering.

just to get this out of the way: I am still in the big city. (I have not been back to the small town in over 2 months; I should be going back for a visit sometime this month.) I have a lot of family close by and my mother happens to live here as well. I am somewhat of an introvert and don't have too many friends. I end up hanging out with her a lot. that might sound lame to some of you but my mom is a blast. I enjoy her company immensely and she is hysterical. one of her favorite places to go is the casino. I do like going to the casino but I'm not one for gambling. I enjoy playing slot machines and I enjoy winning even more that doesn't happen as often as I'd like for it to, so I usually have a good time sipping free drinks, shopping and using points I've gathered to purchase gourmet dinners that would normally be expensive but aren't so much when points are exchanged for restaurant gift cards

anyway, we walked onto the floor of the casino and I got carded right away. this is the first time this happened at the casino. I *despise* being carded. I don't know why, I just do. most of the time when I order a drink, I just say "I'll take a margarita. hold on, I'll get you my I.D." before they ask for it because I dislike being asked so much. when the security guard asked for my I.D., I was under the delusion my mom was going to get carded as well. she asked him if he needed hers, and he said no and looked at me. I paused for a moment and then I started looking in my purse for my wallet. then he said to me "why did you make a face just now?"

lmao. I probably did make a face.

so I just said "what? I didn't make a face." then he asked me to smile and I asked him why and he said "because you'd be pretty if you smiled." then my mom said "yes, isn't she pretty when she smiles?" or something like that. and he said "she's pretty now but she'd be prettier if she smiled." ugh, fml. my mom does not need to witness that kind of thing.

another security guard hit on me but luckily my mother wasn't around for that one.

last week I was walking around near school and this boy yelled "hey sexy" at me. he was riding on a school bus and he could not have been older than 13 or 14. that made me laugh.

there was a photo shoot at my school. I had to complete an entry form and write an essay. today I got an email saying that I was the only person who entered so they had to cancel the shoot *sigh* but they are still inviting me to partake in the prizes that were offered, even if the photo shoot is off.

I was called in to interview as a tutor and then was told that they weren't doing interviews anymore. I felt like I was being punk'd, lol. there is a chance that I might be able to interview as a tutor in the fall, assuming they're not going to hire everyone they're interviewing at the moment. we'll see. I have an interview to be a peer mentor coming up, hopefully that works out. I need some sort of on campus job.

until next time,
h0tcumm0dity*

as of this writing, I have had no further luck in making myself orgasm solo *sigh* but I'm still giving it the old college try. I think I'll make a breakthrough sometime soon. I woke up yesterday morning and I was orgasming, for some unknown reason. it was like the female equivalent of a wet dream. I totally see what all the fuss is about: if I could wake up to that everyday, I would. I probably wouldn't procrastinate about going to bed either. if anybody has any toy recommendations, I'd love to hear them. I have tried using toys before but they didn't do much for me. my lack of interest could be tied to my ignorance of the product :/ I think there is a toy out there for me that will do the trick, I just haven't stumbled upon it yet.

I'm starting to adapt to few hours of sleep which is *not* a good sign, in my opinion. I can get about 4 hours of sleep and be at a functional level. I don't think this is the best strategy when it comes to taking exams so I'm gonna do something to fix this.

I got an award at school for academic achievement much to my chagrin, I don't have a date. I doubt I'll show up with one either. I had a meeting for entrance to a masters degree program at my university. through some kind of consortium agreement, I can take graduate level courses during my senior year, given that I maintain a 3.0 GPA (mine is a lil higher than that) apply those credits to my grad degree and after obtaining a bachelors degree, I'll have my masters a year later.

I'm looking forward to grad school; it's not that I'm not enjoying myself at all right now but I feel like I can't relate to a lot of my classmates. a lot of them are younger than I am, so that may have something to do with it. [[I usually get along wonderfully with my professors/instructors but it's not as though I can go out for drinks with them. at least, not until I graduate.]]

here's an example: there is a girl I've spoken with on campus. we live close to each other, which is how I know her; I'm not in any classes with her. she tends to talk about herself a lot. I'll call her Jennifer. she's a perfectly nice girl but she's a little strange. the first week I knew her, she told me all sorts of info about herself. she told me that she's 21, she's a History major and is minoring in Creative Writing and Philosophy. she wants to be a librarian. she wrote a book and nobody offered to publish it, so she did it herself on Amazon. she's 4'11" and 130 lbs. she told me she gained a lot of weight when she was put on anti-depressants. (she's been diagnosed with depression; her mother thinks that depression is a made-up disease.) she briefly converted to Islam when she dated a man who is Muslim. he wanted her to break off contact with her friends and family so they stopped dating.

now Jennifer has never asked me anything about myself. she doesn't know my name, my age or my major. today I ran into her and she told me that she's "in love" with one of her professors but she's "not sure if he feels the same way" about her. lol, I wonder if I said things like that when I was 21?

her dad is hott. at least I think he's her dad. I wouldn't approach him, since he's married.

I also got my passport recently, so I'll be able to travel abroad next spring. does anybody have any ideas or suggestions? I'm thinking of studying in South America at the moment.

and that's all I got for now

h0tcumm0dity*

something that's been on my mind lately is that I've always wanted a pair of vibrating panties. they are instrumental to one of the fantasies that I have. I brought this up with other guys and they seemed interested but nothing ever came of it *sigh*

anyway, some gentleman would need to be entrusted with the remote control. we would both arrive somewhere separately and I wouldn't be able to see him but he'd be able to see me. and even know I couldn't see him, he wouldn't take long to make his presence known. I'd try my best to socialize with other people but it would become increasingly difficult to do because he'd have the remote and keep setting my panties to vibrate. and each time I'd feel it, I'd try not to squirm and thrash too visibly. I'd know he was watching me from a distance, all the while knowing that he was the source of my arousal. I'd have more trouble concentrating on the conversation I was having and after a little while, I wouldn't be able to form complete sentences. just when I've reached the point of no return, he'd suddenly appear, and we'd rush back to engage in an endless night of lovemaking.

any volunteers to hold the remote control?

h0tcumm0dity*

this is going to be a short month but I have a feeling it will be an extremely pleasant one. here is a list of things that have made the start of this month enjoyable.

1. I just found out I qualify for a grant that would seriously help me out if it were awarded to me.

2. the weather has not been so great but it has been warmer.

[[this does mean that I may need to retire my fabulous hat/gloves/scarf ensembles early this season *sigh* and that saddens me, but it's for a good cause.]]

3. my sleeping schedule is somewhat back on track. I've been getting enough sleep on school nights, although I have a feeling I may break that streak tonight. I'll try to get at least 6 hours in, at least.

4. I have plans for Spring Break! which is only a month away. I won't be in Panama City or Cozumel, but I know I'll enjoy myself just the same as I would if I were going to any traditional Spring Break destination.

5. I got a churro yesterday!!!!!

6. I got laid this weekend, which as I speculated earlier, can only benefit mankind. and certainly benefited myself, more than you think a good fuck would. I pretty much credit that with getting my sleep back on schedule and a renewed motivation to my schoolwork as well.

Valentines Day is approaching and I'm curious, anyone out there wanna be my valentine? I love to cook, wear costumes, perhaps both at the same time, and I make an awesome pizza

until next time,

h0tcumm0dity*