People come and go in our lives definitely, but how difficult is it to find ONE love? I see married friends deeply inlove and other married friends who sleep around and take the other for granted yet don't leave their safe haven while others leave easily in search of that elusive imprinter....

love or life tolerator, where are you?

I had the nicest talk with a friend earlier and he reminded me of my humility and goodness.

I would like to deliver a huge THANK YOU to all my NN friends and say that I am grateful for all your strength, support, love and humor (especially this). Where would I be without you, and you and you.....thank you again and always remember you are beautiful, sexy and loved by me!!!

your truly,
hottlavender

I finally saw all my doctors thank goodness and I will also be having surgery right before my 40th birthday! I minus will be a virgin......I will maybe having a 230cc or more of implants. I am still trying to figure out if I should have saline or silicon implants.....under the muscle most definitely and I am really honestly scared! and right before my 40th birthday....December 10 I am scheduled and darn birthday is that Saturday....ughhhh! Wish me luck...and I love you as always....

i am sooooooooo super stressed out i think i am going to go see a shrink now! no this, no that and lots of heartache inbetween?! what to do what to do?! i call out for you my love, where are you and come save me!

I know what I want, Do you?

I do not need to apologize for enjoying my life and seeking out what is best for me at this time. If you want in, then put your seat belts on and compliment the drive as we go..."Life is definitely like a box of chocolates", you absolutely do not know what in store unless you plan it well and according to your discretion. I have a lot of grand love and if you are twisted in your ways then that is your issue not mine. I am about love and happiness. Let us keep it that way.

I am not getting any younger and to the best of my understandings, none of us is either.....soooo, as much as I know what I want, like and/or need in my life, I wish the same for you and your welfare. I personally do not like wasting my time and others' as well, so if you want something from me, please be prepared for possibly an answer you may or maynot like....

Friendships are welcomed and please do not be shy and let me know what is on your mind for it is welcome until you tramp in my private space....on that note, Happy Friday sexies and let us all have a damn groovy and shagadelic weekend...i love yous....

OMFG......i just wanted to scream from ontop of the world to let every sexy and beautiful person know about the sexiest, yummiest, most caring, great and wetfully orgasm and love making I had last night.....his touch and commands at first were scary and nerve racking, but when his Cuban soft lips touched my skin and measured my every inch i was relaxed....his attention to detail with his attentive focus on me was very comforting and sexy....he made sure i was in sync with his movements and our breathing was unified....our bodies twisted and interlocked like one and he taught me how and when to conform my body to his and not to rush into the climax and to enjoy it til its full potential...

then after all that sweating and gyrating what happened?!.....at 3 am he is wide awake and makes pork chops and the yummiest medium well eggs sunny side up....and feeds me and himself....lol...it was the darnest and sexiest thing i have ever seen....at the beginning of the date he was very structured and strong and said he hated eating, but hello.....he was super hungry and awake so while he making his cuisine i took a wonderful shower and melted into his plush bath robe....

then guess what happens as we lay to bed?!......he gets hard and says the feel of my skin just hardens him and tries to attempt another round (i think at this point it may have been our fifth or forth round), but with whimpering painful pleas needing a bag of ice for my rawness he giggles and kisses me to sleep....wow! i swear i am still aching....twelve hours later....i took some asprin and slept a little more after i got home, so now i am dressed, wearing my hat and ready to rule the hot heated nw world....are you?

muaaahhhh....ti quero mucho he says....

why do people take things for granted? they bitch and complain about the pettiest things in life....

if you are not mentally or physically challenge you have no right telling or treating other human beings how to live, be judgmental or bring them down....i heard the nicest thing the other night, and this person said that one proactive way to contribute to the earth is to simply be proactive and positive. you make yourself useful to earth by helping others be fruitful human beings not wasteful and filthy....

so, please pay it forward and do something productive and positive out there. even if it is to make someone truthfully smile....help make a difference now!

ok soooo i have been talking with as much people as i could about my situation and boy does all this stress make me sooo sick to my stomach....in the meanwhile, i will be getting a double implantation and i will have to more research on it and hopefully have it all approved for a surgical date in september....i am sooo done! i want to get this complete and done with asap so i can go home and help my mother?! the nice thing is it is approximately a one to two week recovery!? ughhh.......

i love you all and i thank god for my NN friends here because I have had wonderful and positive support from here!!! i always think of my NN friends first for suggestions because this is where we can be naked and free of judgement and accept our bodies for what we have.....

thank you and take a bow

although everyone says i am soooooo lucky to have my life, until you have been IN MY SHOES for even a day, you may begin to understand where i am coming from......despite my cancer survivorship, and believe me i am grateful, there's been other footnoted chaos i have been dealing with and this whole breast implantation revision is NOT FOR VANITY but for self ease and comfort....someone told me recently that I should be happy to be alive and just do this and that to ease my soul, but she failed to mention how she enjoys her senseless shopping sprees, pearlesque 328i beamer and horrible plastic surgeries....

maybe this could be the year I can post the resolution of this upcoming implantation!!!!! I could see my 40th birthday celebration in bali with my symmetric breasts and organic yoga stretches...eat, pray, love..........

it has been a very traumatic past five years for me and another upheaval has arise once again to add to my chapter of life challenge.....I am currently entertaining the idea of breast implantation for a number of reasons but first and formally for ME, MYSELF & I....this isn't for anyone else or for vanity but for my sanity and discomfort as I am forever coping with breast cancer survivorship. As of this summer 2012, I will be four years cancer free but not without saying that it accompanied a minimum of half a dozen surgeries let alone anxiety attacks....while many of the so-called support around me say they are "here with me" I have endured this battle by myself....ok i lie, my mom and dad have been my saving grace and since my best friend (dad) has passed on, I have dealt with this alone. My mom has had her hands completely busy and full with a lot of other business and being that I am SINGLE (hint hint wink wink), my personal chapters continue to write itself.....

offically, I have been an NN member just as long and without the constant and vigilant select few members from here, I have come to love and respect the "mature" nature of views from here. Let me continue by saying "Thank you" for the wonderful public and private support I have received during these past few years. You are most definitely appreciated and noted so for it.

please do continue to keep an eye out for me and my journey through this looking glass of mine....I am here and love you all!