just jumps on top


nothing to say worthy of saying !!


except i have wenchie wallet heheheheh

drinks on me !!

another week...

wonder wat joys this one will bring???

<< has a great neighbour...... he gave me somesomesome,,,

problem solvers and aww did i solve my problem last night..
to the point to dont recall crawling into bed !!!

going to spend the arvo with the P's and SP..


enjoy folks !

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the hell are you?', demanded Dave , 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'

The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter ..'

Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got to send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around, pecking the ground..

'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, 'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'

'It's not so bad', replies Dave , 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode.'

'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before.'

'Never', replies Dave ..

'Well just relax and let it happen'.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

' Dave , wake up, you drunken bastard. You've shit the bed !!'

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should
keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan , age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later
who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10


WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER
by then. - Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at... You got to be a fool to get
married. - Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)


HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling
at the same kids.. - Derrick, age 8


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long
enough. - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (Who said boys do not have brains)


WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich. - Pam, age 7 (I could not have said it better myself)

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- Curt, age 7 (Good Point)

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule)


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 (bless you child)


HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF

PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

(1 ) There sure would be lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is..........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck. - Ricky, age 10 ( The boy already understands)

hehe sits on toy !

spoke to long time friend this AM .. MR P.. HAHA I was being silly and he had no idea who i was... he said he was thinking he didnt know any crazy bitches... then i reminded him he did !! hahahahahahahah

fuck it is wet and cold.... nothing a few wines wont warm up !!

The Greatest things in life are unseen, rthat's why we close our eyes to..........................
kiss and to dream

Words and hearts should be handled with care, for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair ......

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams ......

<<< keeps dreaming