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thanks again for all your comments and pm's.
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| Monday, September 20, 2010, 10:50:01 PM- I quit. | ||||||
Went in to work today and told them where they can stick my job of 30+ years where the sun dosnt shine.Well not in them words. Going working for myself part time(got a small pension from work) just to keep me doing something. | ||||||
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| Monday, September 20, 2010, 3:28:15 PM- Remembering The Old Days | ||||||
"Oh Steven, do you remember, the last time we were up here was 25 years ago and we made love for the very first time near an old disused barn. I wonder if we could find it again." "I shouldn't think it'd be here after all this time." he said, "but we'll go and have a look." Suprisingly enough, the barn was still there. "Look Mary, I sat you on that fence over there and we made love, let's do it again." She agreed and he sat her on the fence and began the business. Mary went completely wild, thrashing her arms in the air and waving her feet around. "Wow, Mary, you didn't do that last time." "I know" she stammered, "but it wasn't electrified then." | ||||||
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| Sunday, September 19, 2010, 8:03:34 PM- Cannibal Cooking Tips | ||||||
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are FRIARS!" | ||||||
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| Sunday, September 19, 2010, 10:21:27 AM- The Driving Test | ||||||
Two men talking in the bookies: "What's wrong Charlie? You don't look so good this morning." "It's the bloody wife: she's keeping me awake at night dreaming of this driving test she's taking next week. Every so often she grabs hold of my willie and moves it around like a gear stick. It's no joke." "I've got an idea Charlie. Next time she starts, turn her over and stick it up her backside - maybe that will stop her." The next night, Charlie does as his mate suggests, turns her over and gives her one up the backside. "£5 of 4-Star, please." she says. | ||||||
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| Saturday, September 18, 2010, 10:28:51 PM- A Dancer, Perhaps? | ||||||
A lady at the far end of the bar waves her arm in the air to get the attention of the waiter and by doing that, exposes her hairy armpit. Down the other end of the bar is a very drunk man who says "Hey, get the ballerina a drink would you." "How do you know she's a ballerina?" "Well, no one else would get their leg up that high." | ||||||
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| Saturday, September 18, 2010, 6:31:30 PM- A Distraught Patient | ||||||
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'" | ||||||
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| Friday, September 17, 2010, 11:27:11 PM- quad insuraners | ||||||
Does anone know of any quad insuraners that will insure a quad for business use. this is uk only. must have phoned 10+ today, doing my head in now. | ||||||
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| Friday, September 17, 2010, 10:45:09 AM- The Breasts Of An Eighteen Year Old and The... | ||||||
This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her awhile then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?" She says, "Well, your name never came up." | ||||||
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| Thursday, September 16, 2010, 8:00:39 PM- As we all need some peace and calm in our lives I am passing this on to you all! | ||||||
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see the things I'd started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclits.. Yu haf no idr who bldy gud I fel.Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pis | ||||||
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| Thursday, September 16, 2010, 5:32:33 AM- Down by the river today. | ||||||
Always like going down to the river after it has rained and the river has been up to see what bits have been washed up.  | ||||||
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