Well I just got done watching the Danica Patrick 500, the auto race formerly known as the Indianapolis 500. If you didn't get enought Danica from the announcers gushing over everything she did (came in from outside at one point and listening to the talking heads thought she was in second not ninth), then you could wait for the commercials. If numerious Go-Daddy commericials weren't enought then there were others. Boost mobile is a classic - bunch of overweight guys who wouldn't be pitting for Rapid Roy at a quarter mile dirt track dressed up like they they are going to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror. It was really funny - in a gross perverse way. There are a bunch of TV's in the Castro District who feel like the cavemen right now. hehe
I am taking nothing away from Ms. Patrick, she is a good race driver. And she is the only recognizable name in IRL. The only good thing about the ABC fascination with her today is we did not hear much about how some of the best lawyers in So Fla saved Mr Castroneves from major league jail time. But that is another soap-box.

Addendum to this blog: Just saw on Yahoo "Racer has storybook Indy, edges Danica". How did he fucking edge her - she was in third place. You aren't edging someone when Dan Weldon in second was over 2 seconds behind and DP was about a half second behind. Well next year at this time she will be racing in NASCAR at Charlotte so SD can get a rant going. LOL

We've lost our fucking sense of humour. Everytime I tell someone I find the Jack in the Box "Mini Sirloin Burger" commercial funny I get blasted. I usually hear "it is degrading to dwarfs/midgets" (um sorry to tell ya it is not pc to call wee/little people that - another blog).
GET REAL FOLKS IT IS A FUCKING PARODY!!! How can you take a line like "herding cows the size of schnausers but they're cattle" seriously. The commercial is for Mini Sirloin Burgers, it comes from small cows, you need little people to herd them. Get it? Parody.
As a country we need to get rid of being politically correct. Wanda Sykes tried the other night. We will only continue to deteriorate as a country until we remember to laugh at ourselves. Then we can laugh at Chrysler being saved by the tin bodied 500 from Fiat. (stop the hate mail I drive a Chrysler Sebring Convertible)

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on NN and I am proud to say I am a mother fucker. Ummm that didn't come out quite right

It was beautiful here today. About 90F (32C) so did get a little sun on my ass-ets. Love the olianders blocking the neighbors view. Got the adult wading pool set up in the last week but it has a very slow leak in it. I think a tree branch that broke off last winter did a minor hole. Had to get in the pool today to take the plugs out of the filter system. 62F (17C) water is not what I wanted to dive into without a wet suit. But is was certainly invigorating. If I can get uploads to work to NN I may post the series of pics of the adult pool going up. Pretty boring really....... nite for now

Well like I said the funeral was on Monday. My boss wanted me back to work on Wednesday. No way in hell that was going to happen so I figured just go with the flow. Get out of the funeral and it is snailing (sleet and hail mix) and the temp is dropping. I was not feeling good so I went to the car for a few minutes. I was looking in the mirror, a little old lady comes out of church, slips on the icy shit then proceeds to bounce down the steps on her ass. This is an old Catholic church with gazillion steps and she hit every one. I get out to help her, she was on sidewalk on her back, legs apart and in the air. She was going commando. I started to laugh but didn't dare. But a woman in her 80's without panties was too funny. My son-in-law came running over - his first comment "for the love of god". Oldest pussy he has ever seen I guess. Well the woman was totally unhurt. Not even a bit embarrassed that we had a good view of her privates. Well that was the start to the adventure.
I decided not head out on Monday since the roads were icing over. Wake up Tuesday morning to a full blown ND blizzard. My sis-in-laws place was maybe 200feet away and at times I couldn't see it. I-94 was closed from I think Billings to Bismarck. So just hunkered down for another day. I did call my boss who was getting pissy with me not being back.
Wednesday it was cold but I had to get going. Now for those of you who have never had the pleasure to drive on compacted snow over icy let me say it is quite the experience. Especially with 35mph wind gusts. And pillow snow drifts that take up half the road. On a couple of occasions I was almost blown in the ditch - not much you can do on ice. Except hang on. The trip to I-94 which on a average day takes 1 1/4 hour took almost three. Then the next 200 miles on the interstate weren't much better. Saw a couple of cars go into the ditch. Passing trucks was an event in its self. Plus my windshield washers froze up (fucking dealership puts water in them). So I am stopping at rest areas to throw snow on the windshield.
Get to the border of MT, the weather cleared. Dry roads and sunshine doing 85 to 90mph then I got about 40 miles from Billings and heavy snow. Wet too. At least the windshield washers had defrosted. Tense as hell since the slush on the road could direct the car. Get on the other side of Billings and it clears again. I so hate squall lines.
With the weather clear and the road dry, figured Iould get to Bozeman with any luck so I put the pedal down. Coming around a curve by the Yellowstone River I caught site of an animal in the ditch. I was wondering why he was there so went to the passing lane. Just as I get even with him, Mr. Buffalo charges the car. I get by and look in the mirror. He is looking at me drive away stomping his hoves. There is a semi about a half mile behind who is flashing his lights like crazy at the damn buffalo. Truck goes into the other lane and buffalo does not move. After the truck go past I see the buffalo stomp back to the ditch. Have no clue why he was doing that.
Not long after that it starts to snow again. This time I hit another full on blizzard. I was fifteen feet behind the car ahead of me and could not see their taillights. Also getting very pissed at the fuckers with big ass four wheel drive. I am in a Sebring convertable so I do have the visiblity these assholes do. I almost got run over a couple of times. Now I was thankful for rumble strips on the road. It was how I made sure I was on the road. Drift right until the rumble then just a little left. The next town of any size was Livingston MT. It is in a valley. That means you have to go down a hill. Covered in snow and ice. Car ahead of me disappears. Then I see him sliding sideways down the hill. Before I can think I'm doing the same thing. He is point toward the median, I'm pointing toward the ditch. I see by the exit he shoots into the median. Ah they sanded the exit area. I hold the wheel tight, feel the sand on the exit and floor it. Shoot right on the exit ramp as if by design. Figure at this point it is a message from somewhere I stay here for the night. A warm motel and high speed wireless made for a happy camper.
End of day 15 hours on the road to cover what should have taken 12 at the most.

Decided to trim the friends list down so if I deleted someone accidentally let me know.

Was busy last weekend and this week was crazy so haven't had a chance to write part deux.

Been a strange week or so all things considered. Hurt a true friend on NN which I am terribly sorry for. Did not mean to but was too strung out from the road to realize that I was neglecting someone.
I was planning on starting with the trip home, because it was a trip. But I will give it to ya from the start.
Trip out was uneventful. Dry roads. Clear skys. Got there in roughly 30 hours driving time. But as we turned onto ND-3 I felt that bad feeling in my stomach. That feeling of impending doom. Like something real bad was about to happen. Found out the funeral was on Monday instead of Friday like expected. Felt I should have left right away but like a train wreck something kept me there.
The first night I went to bed while wife and sis' stayed up. Wife came to bed and pecked me on the cheek. This woke me up because in 28+ years together I can not remember her pecking me on the cheek as she came to bed. She then dropped the bomb on me. Her younger sis' hubby told her he was leaving her. Her mom is in the hospital, they are looking at cars and he dumps her. But he told her she should still buy the car. Yea right. Well it turns out the "other" woman was someone he was involved with over 30years ago (sis and he have been married 25years). But he never really got over her. DUDE twist the fucking knife in her. It is bad enought that you kicked your wife but then make it seem like she was the runnerup! Then he had the balls to show up at he funeral as if nothing happened. Then he was stupid enough to post a video of him professing his love to the other woman on MySpace. Without making it private. So to make it short - it was very cold when they were both in the same room (it was about 20F outside and at time much colder in the house). I could go on about his lack of tact but it bothers me that someone could be that stupid. I have no problem with someone having an affair or falling in love with another. But for fuck sakes, show some decency about it. Think about the other person involved and how they might feel. Duh - they could still be in love with you (but not for long).
Then after he tells his kids he has second thoughts. Didn't think his youngest son would take it so hard. So he is staying. No mention of his wifes feelings. Then he tells his wife that he has ended the relationship. Until she gets up at 4am (can't sleep) and sees his phone blinking for a text. She checks the phone, text is from the g/f confessing her undying love. Another text a few hours earlier from him, same story. Stupid man. Needs to learn how to cheat that is for sure.
I have no problem with anyone having affairs, etc. But when you do something like say I am leaving you then get the fuck out of the way. And don't say I'm leaving when your spouse is in a vunerable position.
I will blog on the return trip (bad weather, animal interaction and piss off drivers are a good part of the fun) next time

I am sitting in Winnemucca NV in a room at the Economy Inn. Amazingly they had secure wifi. , But no three prong outlets so I am down to 25% on battery
I have learned some things the past week or so.
Never let anyone die in ND during winter/early spring. Can you say blizzard keeping you an extra day

If they do die NEVER drive there. If you have no problems on the way out you will on the return. Clear and dry driving out. Can you say ground blizzard, icy road, heavy snow, charging buffalo, real blizzard, icy road, sloppy mountain roads, icy roads, rains, snail (sleet and hail), pissed off police officer, fog, oh once again mt pass snow and icy road.

If the death isn't stressful enough - trust your bro in law (married to wifes sis) or sis in law (married to wifes baby bro) to throw gasoline on the fire.

I have driven almost 14 hours today so I am going to bed. I will blog on this over the weekend. I know no one really gives a rats ass but it will make me feel better (and maybe get rid of the chest pains)

California to North Dakota and back by car in winter. If I wasn't crazy you'd think me insane. Back in a week - I hope!!!!

First ya get tied up in work so you don't home until after 8pm.
Next you get a cold that kills you for a couple of days.
Then you get nosebleeds that make you wash your pillow every morning
Then today your mum-in-law dies so you have a 30 hour roadtrip tomorrow, go to a funeral, then make the return trip solo
I'm telling you, a guy just can't fit a pedicure and toenail paint in anywhere. LOL (don't worry - you will see Frau yet!!)