Combien de personnes ici parlent/comprennent le français?
Hoeveel mensen spreken/begrijpen Nederlands?

Languages have always been a big part of my life. Being raised speaking Dutch, I was nevertheless exposed to French from an early age, as my father's side of the family actually spoke French, despite living in the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium. Aside from that, there is the fact that I spent most of my childhood living in Brussels, where the majority speaks French and where I was taught French from 2nd grade elementary school onwards.

Because of my background, and because of a knack for languages which runs in the family, I always had great grades for French and therefore assumed I was great at it. As I look back now, I realize that my French was only great compared to my peers.
After 11 years of French classes in school, after studying Romance languages (mostly French) at university and after 4 years of working in an organization where 90% of all communication takes place in French, perspectives change.

Those last few years of non-stop practice speaking and writing French have, in my mind, really transformed my French. To the point where, if I reread e-mails from before, I just shake my head at how awkward they were. But despite correcting other people's French, despite my colleagues claiming that I could pass as a native speaker, the situation is so different in my head. Because I know what I want to say, and I know that what comes out of my mouth (even if it sounds good) does not match what I meant to say. This is why I could not (easily) write a book in French.

But that's where English comes in. Chronologically speaking, it's my third language (I spent a year in the US when I was 9 years old), but psychologically it's practically my mother tongue. To the point where I barely think about how I express myself. To the point where it is the language I want to use for my creative writing. To me it illustrates the importance of learning languages at an early age, when the mind is still flexible and learns extremely fast. But aside from this 'practical' reason, there is of course also the importance of my stay in the US in my personal development which determines my affinity with English.

Where does this leave Dutch, my mother tongue? It's still the language I use most for my day-to-day communication with friends and family. But I have no affinity with literature written in Dutch, I always read books in English and in French. Even in everyday situations (including the journal I write) I switch between Dutch and English (and even French) quite often. And every language has its own 'feel' and seems more appropriate in certain contexts and types of expression. It feels like some sort of schizophrenia really, a multiple personality disorder which manifests itself in the use of multiple languages

I rarely have insomnia, but on a weekday it's particularly annoying. I woke up at 4.45 AM and I tried to get back to sleep. At 5.45 AM I gave up (alarm clock was set at 6.15) and got out of bed. Well, at least I'll be heading out to work early and therefore heading back home early too...

I unceremoniously ended up on the ground yesterday, in the subway station (slippery tiles because of the rain). And I was surprised: a young man stopped and turned around. Not to ask me if I was alright, but to directly take my arm and pull me to my feet, without saying a word. This was Brussels, mind you, so it goes to show how not everybody in large cities is indifferent to their fellow citizens.

Last night, shortly after I had drifted off to sleep, a feeling awoke within me that often arises at that time of night. Before I even realised it, I had taken BF's hand and pushed it down my pajama pants and inside my panties... Edging closer and closer to where I wanted him to be, teasing me, lightly touching me instead of the firm touches I was craving. I was fully awake by then and really wanting it. Just as I was about to start touching myself, desperate for release, he pulled the covers away, pulled down my pants and panties, opened my legs and started licking me. I can't remember the last time he went down on me, but oh dear, it felt good. I don't even care that he couldn't make me cum, finishing off myself as he was playing with my breasts was still a very satisfying end to our little session in the dark.

The fact that I could barely stay awake at work today is simply the price I have to pay for such fun

anosmia -> an·os·mi·a (n.)
Loss or absence of the sense of smell.

Or in my case, the inability to smell if food has gone bad. I poured a litre of chocolate milk down the drain yesterday. It still looked normal, but with the expiration date being two months ago and the fact that the bottle had been openen a week ago... I'm not taking any chances

I close my eyes
The sky falls to me

Sounds tiptoe near
Smooth as children’s feet
Lightening my thoughts

I close my eyes
I see the sky clearly now

A storm raging brightly
Swiftly reveals an imperial sky
Sunset hums in a faraway corner
Ashen shards of clouds linger
Polishing the newly born stars

Eyes closed
A delicious chill inside bursts
Shows me your way

1) I had been putting off two tasks at work for about two months because, in my mind, they had become 'huge' and I thought I needed some uninterrupted time to get them done.
I finally did those tasks, and together they only took about an hour and a half.
Lesson: procrastination is evil, postponing these things is never a good idea...

2) Last night I decided to go home from work early, and take the bus (instead of bf picking me up from the subway station).
Result: it took me 1 hour instead of 40 minutes to get home, because I waited for my bus for 20 minutes. And they wonder why I dislike public transportation, so much for going home early...


On the upside: it had been a stormy afternoon, pouring rain, but when I came home the clouds had cleared away. Something special about the combination of stormy winds and catching the end of a sunset, a darkening and slightly starry blue sky suddenly revealed, enhanced by the contrast with a few stray dark grey clouds.

So what's on the menu for New Year's Eve?

Appetizers:
- dates wrapped in bacon, grilled in the oven
- cebiche with scallops, North Sea shrimp and salmon
- smoked salmon mousse and fish eggs on toast
- almond, raisin and carrot couscous with a mint and honey Greek yoghurt sauce

Main course:
Scallops and prawns with asian style spicy stir fried noodles, leeks and bell peppers

Dessert:
Apple, pineapple and chocolate crumble


I'm hungry already Aside from dessert, I'll be 'head chef' tomorrow, so I'll be in the kitchen most of the day, prepping the vegetables, etc. But even though it's a lot of work, I enjoy it: I find it calming to prepare food, sort of like therapy.

Happy holidays to all of you, have a blast!

Due to a strike day in the public sector, there is virtually no public transportation in Belgium today. And therefore no way for me to get to work. So I decided to work from home.

2.30 PM and I still haven't lifted a finger... Much better cuddling with kitty, making art, cleaning up clutter... And clean up clutter I must, unexpected company tonight and they're staying for the night! We don't even have a guest room, but we'll improvise