I received news concerning one of the writing fellowships I applied for: application not accepted. Of course, I'm not feeling too cheerful at the moment. After a grueling day at work, finding out that one of my potential escape routes has disappeared isn't the best news.

And now to find something to distract me this evening...

I'm guessing the weekend will fly by so fast again... Slept in 'till 11 AM today (such a delight), then off to the hairdresser this afternoon and then to my parents 'till Sunday evening.

I feel restless, for an unknown reason. Or maybe not so unknown. I think I might have had some disturbing or strange dreams again, my fears and apprehensions unfolding there. Sleep used to be a hiding place, but it seems to have become a psychological battle field. A signal that I'm slacking off again, not working towards my goals?

(I hope this works and that the images aren't too big)

This was me yesterday:










Today, aside from some pain issues:





Maybe this is all I need?

On workdays I usually catch one of two buses, according to how speedy my preparations are in the morning. Today I didn't just take the bus after the later one of the two, I took the bus following that one. I'm pretty sûre I'll arrive late at work. But what really annoys me is the reason why I left the house so late: my skin. You see, have been batting acne ever since my early teens. Despite several treatment by a dermatologost. And even at 30, my skin apparently doesn't realize I'm way past puberty already.
So preparation this morning was spent for the most part on (not so successful) attempts to camouflage an assortment of angry-looking reds spots. (for shame, I have a bad habit of tampering with my zits, which only aggravates the situation).

Burqas sound pretty appealing right now that or burying my head in the ground. Thanks you Mom, but I could have done without that particular part of your genes

So I watched Sense and Sensibility last night. And I cried. I'm such a sucker for romance

So what happens when you're alone at home for a week? You tend, for example, to watch TV shows you don't usually watch.
So this week I ended up watching a show about hoarders and how they try to get their house cleared out. The first feeling I got was, as most people, a feeling of relief: phew, my house isn't THAT bad And then I got to thinking about my own messy tendencies.

Part of my messiness is down to my laziness: so much easier to leave something lying around where I used it than to put it back where it belongs. Another factor is maybe a bit ironic: the fact is that I love organising things.

Last summer I spent days and days sorting my e-mail at work. I'm talking thousands of mails, severals years worth. A while back I also decided to start a filing system for all of our admin documents: credit card statements, medical documents, invoices,... I first created choas, sorting stacks of unsorted papers into 'thematic' piles all over the sofa and ended up with a shelf of well organised papers. I also have a system for my books: according to the type of book (novels, poetry, theater, non fiction, dictionaries...), the language (English, French, Dutch, and also some Spanish and German) and in alphabetical order.

These kinds of organising projects seem to give me a lot of satisfaction. So much so that I'm guessing that it could be a reason why I leave things lying around: it's so much more satisfying cleaning up a big mess than it is to put everything in it's rightjful place immediately.

Another irony? While I always tend to leave things lying around, I can't stand anybody messing up my system. Put a pot of herbs between the rice and pasta, put a book on meditation between my French novels, stack a large bowl on top of a smaller one, and you will feel my wrath!

I never pretended to be a logical and coherent human being

On a television show yesterday, they talked about the explorer Dr Livingstone: how he started out as a humble worker in a cotton factory but how, after daily 14 hour shifts, he still studied every day and ended up studying medecine and theology at university and exploring the world.

I know I should find it inspirational. In reality I find it depressing, because I'm clearly not made of the same 'stuff' as him. I can't even get my ass into gear to make my dreams come true with only 8 hour work days.

Never mind me, yesterday was a bad day and today isn't feeling much better, self confidence in the gutter...

So here are the last pics from Paris, all of them taken at the Petit Palais.

A beautiful staircase:




A stunning mosaic floor:


A collection of art nouveau jewelry that made me swoon:


An art nouveau vase and sculpture to die for:




I'm usually not that much into paintings, but I wouldn't mind seeing this girl on my wall:


Hope you enjoyed the pics

An active evening yesterday:
- a machine full of laundry
- folding a stack clean clothes
- making dinner (smoked salmon with pasta, pesto and carrots (it should last me three days)
- hauling and emptying boxes with inherited stuff (problem: don't know where to put it all)
- checking a device BF ordered in the mail (problem with it, but the company where he ordered it doesn't believe him)
- TiVo: watching several shows while preparing dinner, folding clothes, etc.

I saw the funniest object on an antiques program: an old pocket watch with a couple in Tiroler clothes on the dial. What was so funny? She had her skirt up, showing her pussy in full glory and detail, and he had his cock out, which was bobbing up and down to indicate the seconds passing. Porn from the past

This week is an exercise in self discipline. I've planned out my week with useful tasks. I knew I was ambitious, so I will readjust after the experiment of yesterday evening, but I did manage to get some stuff done:
- make soup (something I don't do often)
- emptied a box of food I got from my grandmother's house and reorganized our pantry/food storage in the basement.
- folded a pile of washed clothes
- washed laundry (one machine of many this week, as it has really piled up) and hung it up to dry
- watched several episodes on TiVo (Belgian equivalent of it) because the hard drive was getting very full

Not a bad evening at all!