wantitbad101's blog post - My confusing bisexual identity life

Well after struggling with my bisexuality since I was young and finally coming to understand it a few years back. I did it.
I went and had my first experience.
But first let me tell you why I'm 47 yrs old and just now doing it.
Ever since I became sexually aware of myself I've always been physically attracted to both men and women. Of course at a young age this was troubling and I was very confused. I heard everyone in my life talking negatively about anything not heterosexual. Yet I knew I got the same good feelings when I was looking at both men & women. How can this be so wrong if its making me feel so right?
My parent are very traditional so this was not a good thing in their view, just like masturbating was wrong. I think they used the term "filthy" habit. Again hearing this and knowing that I liked to look at both sexes didn't add up in my mind. I liked to masturbate to both images of men & women. I got the exact same feeling from both so how could it be wrong? When I bought porn magazines I got aroused from both, I often found myself imagining that I was the woman in the seen. And that when I discovered anal sex & how good it felt.
So for year, I'd buy both straight & gay magazines along with a secrete stash of sex toys. My god what would happen if my family found that......? I'd masturbate to both but when looking at the gay porn it always involved anal penetration with my toys.
So fast forward through many years of struggling with these mixed feeling to when I discovered girls. I found that I could emotionally "connect" with them and that in itself gave me great satisfaction plus that special feeling that make you sexually attracted. I never did get a emotional connect with any of my guy friends. So I had a good selection of "friend" girl and guys. Thats when I meet my wife. My emotionally pillar. I connected with her the first time we met. So much it only took me 8 months to decide to marry her. But before I proposed to her I slowly eased her into my world. I told her how I felt & what I liked to do. She was total good with it.
Married years. We would do all the regular stuff that a couple does to make their bond strong. Sex with my wife has always been emotional and intimate. Very few time have we just ever fucked. Its always emotional. There is no better way of getting rock hard than with emotional sex.
She catered to my interests. We had a strap-on that she used regularly to feed the "man" factor.
I never pressured her, she was wanting to do it because she could see I responded to it. Many times she could give me the "head popped off" treatment. My body would convulse and tremble. My face would flush & my ears would ring. FUCKING AWESOME !!! Many good years of this.
Well we hit our 22 yr anniversary and running my business was stressful, but I believed things were still good but there was a change... hard to point exactly but something had..........
I knew we both had changed both physically and emotionally . I think its only natural. But one thing fore sure I still love her on an unmeasurable level. There is nothing I like more than to just lay in bed holding her. Which by the way always leads to some really good intimate sex! Lol
But she came to me recently and had to ask a very serious talk. I was thinking, is it worse than what I though? Did I totally read this wrong? Then the conversation started. She had to admit that she just recently realized what my bisexuality meant to me & how much of it was who I was. So she thought that it had been selfish of her to not discuss it sooner. I assured her that it wasn't a case of selfishness but an area out outside her comfort zone and that's why I never pushed the issue out of my great respect for her & her opinions. I'd never do anything to compromise our relationship and that why I didn't just go to do it. So she at this point said she wanted me to go and do it. All she wanted. Was to know when I was going but no details of went on.
So this brings me to today. Today I went to have my first encounter.
It was actually really good but has added to the confusion. I most certainly enjoyed everything that went on today. It felt totally natural and not in the slightest way awkward. It was easy to approach the guys. Asking to "play" was so easy. And then there was actually doing it.
I figure if you've read it this far it can't be all that boring and you want to know the details. So I will share some details.
So I went to a spa in the city that caters to bisexual men. That would be half the battle won.
I rented a private room and got changed or I guess that would be undressed. So I left my room with noting more than a towel on my shoulders. I walked around a bit to see what it was all about. I felt extremely sexy (not sure if thats the right word) walking around with nothing on in front of all these guys that saw me as nothing more than a way to relieve themselves. Some guys had big stiff cocks poking out from under their towels just staring. Then there were the guys walking around on the prowl. These guys were the ones that would grab my ass or hand a handful of cock & balls. Interesting to say the least.
So I ended up back near the showers where I could stand and watch the others moving around. I saw this one guy that really caught my eye. I followed him into the sauna and sat down.
Once seated I said hi & then started the mindless chatter for a bit. So not knowing how this all works , I just blurted out "may I" He said sure, so I stood up and moved in front of him and opened his towel. My god I was right. He was as big as I thought from the glance at the shower.
Without hesitation, I grabbed his cock and gave it a rub. My god did it feel good. Now the room is full of 8 other men, so I decided to give them a show and went down on him. The first time to suck a cock & i'm doing it in front of 8 guys. I felt so sexy doing that. Then someone grabbed my balls from behind. Exciting! But a little overwhelming. So I invited him back to my private room. Where I proceeded to lick & suck that cock until he was dripping wet.That's when I stood up and stuck my cock inside his foreskin. AMAZING felling, I rubbed his cock back and forth pulling his foreskin over mine. LOVE it !!
So now he was totally rock hard & I could fell it twitching. He nearly ready to cum, lets stop. Let him get soft & repeat. He liked it and was hard in a second. So I decided to kneel over him & rub his swollen cocks head over my hole. He moaned......... and caught me off guard. He thrust his hips up and managed to penetrate me but at the same time knocked me off balance causing me move and end up with him totally inside me. OMG felt better than I ever thought. I let him fuck my hole for a few minutes this way until he asked for me to go on my knees. I complied and went on my knees with my hips held way up high. I was hardly ready when he rammed that big cock up my ass again. FELT so good!! Didn't stop him. Then I asked if I could go on my back that way his cock would have a better angle on my prostate. So we moved I was on my back with my legs behind my head. Again i was hardly ready when he had already stuck it back in me....... My face was flushing now. He fucked me for a good 10 minutes like this when I realized that I was massaging his ballsand getting far to comfortable & into the moment. So I asked him to put a condom on. Well this was just like I had insulted him. He pulled out & said he was going to take a break and left. Hummm? What up with that? So I laid there for a bit and text my wife. Lol!! WHAT I couldn't think of anything else to do right then.
So I cleaned myself up and went back out in the main area once again totally naked and flaunting it ! Walked around grabbed a couple of guys, they grabbed me. i watched others fucking and sucking everywhere. I certainly like watching guys fuck and was hot to hear all of the sounds men make in the heat of the momment. The smells.....
So now I'm winding down, just watching all these other guys playing ,watched some gay porn . My poor little cock in all this was going hard then soft hard then soft. it was leaking huge strings of pre-cum that where reaching the floor while I stood there. So I got bored & cleaned up and left.
Pretty abrupt conclusion don't you think........
Will I do it again yes........
Hope you enjoyed my day as much as I did