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Blog Title: sexual abuse and xxxxxxxxxx
Others Have Said: 
5-Jan-13 23:30:18
{{{{{DC}}}}} I have said to several people that if they have concerns with this issue they need to PM the person and talk, not mock not bitch not judge....
PoeticLicense
5-Jan-13 23:34:46
*THUMBS UP*....both for the emotional sharing of your story, and also for your opinion on the attacks in status. AMEN.....and I'm sorry you went through hell, but glad you came to terms with all of it. What does not kill us makes us stronger.
5-Jan-13 23:54:12
DC, We are all adults and we have all been victims of mocking and ridicule. If someone can't take it, then they are too young to be here or not mature enough to be here. How do we know the individual hasn't been asked to watch their actions? We don't know. I am looking at this from an adults point of view. And the way I look at it is this. She knows it is an adult website so she should know NOT to bring childlike behaviors and pedophiliac actions into the website. I am so glad that you as well said something about your past, there are many who have been victims. Look at a forum thread I created on the matter. So many NNers came out of the wood work. If the individual in question is indeed an adult then she also has the responsibility to UNDERSTAND how the other NNers feel. Why is it up to everyone else to bow down to her? She should meet both ways on the matter. She is no better than anyone else on the site. We all should agree to disagree, but she is also responsible for such things. If a poster can't see that such things and subject matters are upsetting to the site, then that person is selfish and doesn't care. I like ya DC. We are brothers and sisters in blue. But there are two sides here and one side is seemingly disturbing.
BestinDK
6-Jan-13 0:02:47
well said TWL....that is all i will say about the matter for now
6-Jan-13 0:06:03
TWL, I think DC means that people need to stop behaving childishly towards her, while claiming to be adults. One of the biggest complaints I have seen is the third person thing, yet many of those complaining and making an issue of it are often times talking in third person as a way to mock her and call more attention to it, is that adult like behavior? So I will ask have you PMed her and shared with her your concerns in a constructive way?
Viszla1
6-Jan-13 0:10:59
Sorry to intervene or interrupt here, I agree with tighty..... Being adult about the whole scenario is down to the individual yes. I'm sorry to hear all these stories of certain people's suffering. But forgive me for saying this. Shouldn't you as moderators be moderating the situation and instead of encouraging possible personal confrontation through Pms initiate the problem yourself for the sites own regulation. I for one will not approach the young lady. Emphasize the young here as its so apparent she is very young and immature. Diplomacy is needed to resolve issues surrounding this so called blatant ignorance to what and how things are playing out here...... Instead of raking the past up look at the present and try resolve it presently. How I'm not sure but instead of deflecting it address it... As mods you address other menial stuff without consultation without everyones input. you have heard and seen the reaction please use your common sense and address this situation.....
PoeticLicense
6-Jan-13 0:13:15
I will be completely honest - I haven't seen anything BUT the attacks. And while I don't condone the discussion of certain things.....the hate like attacks really aren't a solution. Going to support, pm'ing NN etc.......to me that's the way to go about it. On both sides.......I think if she is having issues with mocking/hatred then she needs to look at her own behaviors and if she feels the attacks are not justified she needs to go to support. So I guess I'm waffling here back and forth lol.
6-Jan-13 0:16:16
telling people to stop mocking and attacking on status is dealing with it, she honestly is not breaking any rules, beside which this girl was attacked from the start for everything from being 19, to saying she was a virgin, to being verified while having a pink shield... here is the reality of it it is the people whining and mocking that is calling the most attention to her behavior, and while many say they think it needs to stop, very few are willing to genuinely talk to her about why...
Madame_Bovary
6-Jan-13 0:25:23
I have spoken to her and am still worried about her behaviour and the kind of attetion she is getting. Or maybe this was the intention. Tighty said it all. This is an adult site we should not encourage childlike behaviour. It is distrubing to say the least, reading others blogs, says it is affecting them also. Not in a positive way.
6-Jan-13 0:26:24
I have been mocked. Many years ago. I was told to deal with it. So that is all I am saying. Mocking (I was told) is not breaking any rules. That is how I look at it. As for sending the individual an email? Well that was tried in the past by others (not this one) and they claimed they were being harassed. So you see we have a double edged sword now. I would imagine that it all started when the individual blatantly admitted to being deleted when they were on the site before and deleted by NN for posting webcrap. So how can one trust someone who admits to being deleted before they were verified. I understand where you are coming from my Dearest Toy. You are wiser than your years. BUT this individual was mistrusted from the start for admitting to being deleted and then appears out of no where with ANOTHER profile. So how can trust be kept? I would certainly not IM this person because SHE as an adult and I use the term loosely, should already know the meaning and inappropriate actions. This is a very mature debate and I respect that.
Madame_Bovary
6-Jan-13 0:26:47
I agree with Viszla too, common sense should prevail. For her protection at least.
6-Jan-13 0:35:25
hold on, the story is a little off TWL, firstly she handles herself rather well when mocked, typically blowing it off, the one time I know for a fact that it got to her was the night purr was attacking her in status then on her cam {we all know how that ended because she went through the proper channels to report it}. as for her admitting to having been removed, she admitted that she had previous accounts and that her pictures were removed, by me actually, and that when she returned she realized verification would help keep that from happening again. NN personally verified her twice. but none of this negates the fact that she has been attacked for various reason by people since she first arrived. and that if people think she needs to stop acting a certain way bitching and whining about it wont help, send her a nicely worded PM explaining your concerns. But the other aspect of this is why are all the complaints being made about her, and not the guys responding to her, arent they the real problem?
Viszla1
6-Jan-13 0:48:17
Like I said toy common sense needs to prevail here.......... You of your young age should understand how it looks. And some maybe of age I'm not too sure here if this is true. Clarifying it is agreed impossible. But reading observing it doesn't look like she is aware of the way it emphasizes a certain nature either innocently or on purpose. All I'm saying is this. If blogs like this are not enough to ring alarm bells of concern, from a mods point of view then What would alarm you as an individual . This isn't a personal attack on anyone individual either moderator or not. It's a general concern of knowing what is correct and within adult control. I as a parent can see what it's looking like. Maybe that's a parental insight.... This isn't a blame culture here but people just questioning. If the thread isn't enough for you to maybe take account and escalate further for peace of mind for all, then I for one wi be disappointed if its not dealt with in the best possible way . I'm not for one minute directing this solely at you toy..... Your just a tool for NN REGULATORY matters, so please try and see it for its true identity not from the point of malice against the girl....
6-Jan-13 0:50:48
Toy, there have been emails sent to the guys who are responding to her actions. And those men called some of the nners very cruel names. So it isn't like they women and men haven't mentioned to stop pandering to the pedophiliac ways. They have. I would most certainly reach out to anyone (again) if the actions were negative. But the fear in that is being reported for harassment. I am not one to let someone drown. But I am also worried that reaching out would not be welcomed. I will do as any adult would do and reach out. I will put my suspicions aside and do just that.
bettysswollocks
6-Jan-13 0:56:25
I've read more common sense in these blog comments than I've read on NN in a long time. More applause for TWL, MB & Viszla.
6-Jan-13 1:01:53
Okay....

Like I said earlier, the attacks on her have no place in status. And it's not just her, I have, and other mods have, gotten on people in the past for similar attacks on other members. Mocking is different than joking around and everyone of you knows it.

As far as the issue of her age etc. We, as mods, can only go with what she tells us. Unless we have concrete proof, an admission by her of her age being less than 18 etc, there is nothing either a mod or support can do.

As has already been pointed out we can't delete her statuses as they don't violate any rules. Some of you will note that even when I've asked members on here to stop mocking/insulting her I haven't even deleted their statuses that did so.

Yes, we all should be adults and act like adults, which includes not picking on someone because we don't personally like them or something they say or do.

There's a poster in status who's always wanting to "talk about his wife" etc. While I have to wonder if his wife is aware he post her pictures here, I can't prove otherwise so cannot delete his statuses either. He has, when asked, assured me she knows so I have to accept that at face value whether I believe him or not.

NN, while very "real" to some of us, is nothing more than a fantasy land where like minded individuals can get together and indulge in their particular "kink".

Not all of our "kinks" are the same. Some of you may be fans of Kirkj for instance, I for one am not. LOL

My point to all of this is...

Attacks, verbal abuse, mocking, or deriding someone, whether it be the individual we are talking about or someone else has no place on NN.

Thoughtful, intelligent discourse on a subject is fine, and like I and others have said, if you have a problem with her, PM her and discuss it in a calm rational manner.

If you still aren't satisfied with the answer you get, contact support and then block her.

If seeing her statuses triggers an emotional response in you do to some past trauma such as I and others on here have experienced... Block her.

It's as simple as that.

To those of you who are "concerned for her safety"...

contact her via pm. Strike up a friendship with her, get to know her, then try to help her. But attacking her won't do a thing but make you look bad.

6-Jan-13 1:07:06
One other point I think a lot of you are missing...

Toy, I, or any other moderator cannot remove her account, we cannot silence her, we cannot ask her to stop posting statuses or pics unless they violate NN's rules.

So, instead of directing your concerns to us, you need to contact NN or support.

TWL, thanks for reaching out. *hugs*
6-Jan-13 1:08:06
well I will tell you TWL to PM her if you think you have a valid point, I have spoken to her on several occasions through PM, I spoke to her about the use of third person after which she started asking questions of people, which she was mocked for. But I can tell you if you send her a PM that is constructive and not critical, that expresses concerns and not telling her to stop but explaining why you think she should stop, then it will be received as such. and Viz it has little to do with me or DC being mods, we can no more control her behavior then we can yours, if she is doing something that bothers you, wouldnt talking to her be better then how most people act towards her in status? like I said to TWL PM her maybe a message from a male explaining the way you see things may help her to see it differently....
bettysswollocks
6-Jan-13 1:12:31
Well I guess we're all entitled to our opinions, even on NN. Some even have a sense of humour :/

Personally I have as much of a problem with the so called adults here fawning over girls who look or act xxxxxxxx as I do with the people posting it. Just my opinion though ...
6-Jan-13 1:27:57
Bettty, what's this sense of humor you speak of? :P

And no argument from me on the latter either.
Viszla1
6-Jan-13 1:39:46
Sorry no pm.... I don't initiate at all with her..... So it's not to much for me to ignore my concern is general common sense. If it is to be this way then so be it. I am just commenting on DC blog, he initiated it. Maybe she should be directed by someone who is one of her friends..... I don't really no what the solution is apart from what I said. Would it not be deemed good to be directed by a so called official highlighting it? Anyway it's late goodnight god less all. And be safe..... Question to both of you. Forget what you see what is your gut feeling if you just looked at the way she acts and the way others like you say encourage her? Is it correct in your eyes?
Madame_Bovary
6-Jan-13 3:34:29
I have PM'd her but her answer made me more concerned.
If this child does not see a problem in her behaviour no amount of PMs is going to help her.
I too am not happy with the comments of the older men on her pics. Young men her own age would be more appropriate.
Even after all this discussion dont we have a 'duty of care' as fellow beings toward this young girl. I would hate to see her in the real world behaving like this and thinking it was appropriate when it obviously isnt.
Research Candidate
6-Jan-13 9:05:31
DC, sorry to hear your story and glad to hear you have come through it with counseling.
TWL, Vis MB and betty, I agree with you all and well said.
Maybe all that needs to be done is to point the young lady to this blog so she can read for herself the reaction she is causing.
Whispermyname
6-Jan-13 10:03:50
DC my heartfelt wishes for you and your pain. I will admit this is one of the most interesting blogs to read and Tighty you make such sense.
bundja
6-Jan-13 10:24:09
Attention seekers...
If you feed them,they just grow into monsters. Just mine...
Research Candidate
6-Jan-13 11:03:35
Actually a question for you DC. If you had a daughter of young age, who paraded herself around in here acting like she is just beyond colouring books and men of over 60 demonstrated how much thry liked perving her pics, how would you react then?
6-Jan-13 17:47:08
Thank you for being honest and letting us know what happened to you. I am really sorry for all of that.
nickey69
6-Jan-13 17:58:48
so glad you are healing,,
bettysswollocks
6-Jan-13 18:17:11
RC, it's not just the 60yr olds that look sleazy for drooling over someone pretending to be much younger than she is, IMHO any adult male who finds that kind of thing stimulating needs help.

DC, I don't think any of us are asking you or any other mod to do anything about that particular profile, it's obviously outside your remit and should be handled by NN. If I'm honest, I'd rather see more discreet modding anyway but hey, that's just another of my pesky opinions ;)
postmanspackin
6-Jan-13 21:34:12
Let me start off by saying I feel sorry anyone that is a victim off child abuse. But wait a minute who said she was a victim of child abuse ? I didn't hear her say that. I also didn't hear her ask for any ones help. I find a lot of thinks on this site I dont like. But with a click of the button and it's gone. I commented oh her pics I comment on any ones pictures that I come in contact with. Young old fat skinny black white blue or brown. I don't care. It does not mean that I want them or to have sex with them. And I for damn sure am not a paedophile. She is not my cup of tea. But she doesn't have to be. To me the bottom line is she has every right to fly her flag as anyone else does. I don't believe she is under age any more than I believe she is a virgin. But what gives me the right judge ? Guys it's your computer if you see something you don't like with one click of the button and it's gone. Just my two cent's worth hope I didn't disgust you.
Aussie_Couple
7-Jan-13 8:44:06
Just the usual find a target and mock, harrass and ridicule coz you've got nothing else to do but pick on someone. How about mind your own fucking business, if you don't like it ....it's YOUR PROBLEM, not hers. As has been clearly stated, she has broken NO RULES! Why not ban all the sleazy old males from the site then?????? Fact is disgusting maggot paedophiles aren't interested in a girl saying she's a legal consent age of 19. Get a fucking life and get off her back FFS! What a pack of close minded perfect arseholes. Miss A_C
Aussie_Couple
7-Jan-13 8:48:40
And the comment has nothing to do with those who have been a victim of a disgusting paedophile. Those maggots that do those revolting things to innocent defenseless children, need to be strung up by the dick and set on fire!!!! Miss A_C
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