)Most Liked Status Updates
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Fri, 7-Feb-25 3:38 PM (6 days ago)
I like to try and thank people for their likes and comments,doesn't take up much time but when it states I can't view a profile well you don't get a thank you do you 🤣🥀🍺
Someone has been here for 15 years and sent me a friend request and I’m like nope nothing is filled in still
(6 days ago)
Moving quietly in the shadows, Slowly following Adele down the hall to her bedroom.🛌 So what board game you want to play 😂😂
(5 days ago)
Chelseagal80 likes this
Tue, 11-Feb-25 8:17 PM (2 days ago)
OH MY! how can it be 
i got my 5 year badge! WOO HOO 
in celebration, NN says 
& 
is on him 
i got my 5 year badge! WOO HOO in celebration, NN says & is on him
Five years of hard on looking at your sexy body
(2 days ago)
Five Years of 
, looking at you... 
, looking at you...
(2 days ago)
Tue, 4-Feb-25 8:53 PM (9 days ago)
Her: “I really don’t like pizza .” Me: “Okay, this date is over. What kind of Monster are you?
^^sounds like there could be a Saturday night pizza party at Smitten'splace!!
(6 days ago)
Tue, 4-Feb-25 12:47 AM (10 days ago)
Let's be very clear - lots of us like looking at naked women. But only when it's their choice...
Participants, not victims! 😳
(10 days ago)
Cheers to that... I just saw a post from male milf and had to shake my head..I mean come on
(9 days ago)
I was also thinking of a certain "artist" at the Grammies...
(9 days ago)
smittenforyou likes this
Wed, 12-Feb-25 12:01 PM (2 days ago)
My wife told me to whisper dirty things to her… So I whispered ‘kitchen, bedroom and living room.’ I’m sleeping on the couch now.
Sun, 9-Feb-25 2:34 PM (4 days ago)
🙏 Always take a minute to remember boiled water. It will be mist.
If she splashes in any sea water in the UK at the moment she's become an Ice Ice Babe!
(4 days ago)
things are getting steamy in here
(4 days ago)
Fri, 7-Feb-25 4:30 AM (7 days ago)
Just sayin', you get frisky with the bear, we're gonna want to see pictures. (My lovely Mrs is a little over 2 inches shorter than you. You two would make a lovely pair.)
(6 days ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
Wed, 5-Feb-25 3:59 PM (8 days ago)
Back to work tonight had a lovely week off to recuperate over Xmas been for lots of coffee with friends spoke to people about my mental health as that was a shit week but I’m ok now
Aww thanks Adele we have a staff room so that’s where all all have to go lol
(8 days ago)
Tue, 4-Feb-25 5:00 PM (9 days ago)
I'm going to make more cookie croissants tonight,best thing I ever put in my mouth...well except of course ,you know 
With some good hot strong coffee…Breakfast of Champions!
(9 days ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
Is cookie croissant code word for anything? Because I'm eating that sweet buttery goodness
(8 days ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
AGR, you really know how to tease us boys...pics in your gallery AND cookies in status !!
(8 days ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
Sun, 2-Feb-25 6:46 PM (11 days ago)
Going to bake some banana bread soon,how's that for a FB status 
That is one thing other than carrot cake that I have never made,only other vegetable cake/bread I ever made was avocado bread which was delicious
(10 days ago)
smittenforyou likes this
One of these days. ...I remember when I was very young my Mom use to buy sweet bread in a can...loved the stuff
(10 days ago)
smittenforyou likes this
Fri, 31-Jan-25 4:30 PM (13 days ago)
Goodmorning,afternoon and good evening.....there I think that covers it 😆 🤣
Just walk away Phineas 😆 🤣 you're making me green 💚 with envy and I'm going to have to
you
you
(13 days ago)
Phineas_J_Whoopee likes this
Mon, 10-Feb-25 2:20 PM (3 days ago)
Thank you to all your comments and likes on my BJ picture. Lots have asked if I’m with a man now. The answer is nope. I’m still single and still looking. That’s another Valentine’s Day on my own 😆 x
Mon, 3-Feb-25 11:53 PM (10 days ago)
I went to the bar last night. They played The Twist, so I did the the twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come On Eileen.....that's when I got kicked out...
You should have stuck around, right after that they played Juicy J's ''Slob on my Knob'' 
.
.
(10 days ago)
You just can't please some people!
(10 days ago)
I know a woman named Eileen. One year for halloween she wore a blue dress with a white stain on it. Everyone asked what she was, "Monica"? No, the song, Cum on Eileen.
(10 days ago)
Fri, 7-Feb-25 12:06 AM (7 days ago)
When it's 2005 and the movie you've been downloading for 3 days on Limewire is ready.
I brought warehouse 13 on dvd on trade me hehe the pick up was a second hand shop and the coolest shop I've ever seen they had every thing from LPS to cassettes to 1960 car magazines 👍
(7 days ago)
Sun, 2-Feb-25 11:45 AM (12 days ago)
I just applied for life insurance, they asked me 'do you participate in any dangerous activities?' I replied, 'Yes sometimes I disagree with my wife!' 
I was renewing my car insurance and they asked if I had a dog. "Yes". Well, maybe you could insure your dog too. "Don't be stupid - he can't drive!"
(11 days ago)
Sat, 1-Feb-25 9:02 PM (12 days ago)
Cookies fresh out of the oven,chocolate chip I also made the viral cookie croissants.. the croissant takes away some of the sweetness...what is my status too FB 😆
Hi bimarried,yes do tell us about your bread...hi sweetaspie lenny 💋..hello Breastman4life either or loo and hey
(12 days ago)
lennynatural likes this
I'd like to taste Adele's cookies.
(12 days ago)
The recipe calls it bread but it’s not really. It’s all seeds and nuts, psyllium husk, flax, a bit of flour I added as binder. Nutritious, filling, fiber rich.
(12 days ago)
Sat, 8-Feb-25 2:41 PM (5 days ago)
I have roughly 6 hours of Jimmy Buffet queued up. Having sausage & eggs for breakfast, then Mrs S for lunch! Hope all you fuckers have a great day, time to get busy! ✌🏼
Only really like one song by him but it’s one of my favorite songs in general, A Pirate Looks At 40.
(5 days ago)
smittenforyou likes this
He Went to Paris & met a Son of a Sailor Man
(5 days ago)
Thu, 13-Feb-25 6:24 PM (18 hours ago)
A big busty woman stepped into the elevator. Evidently, I was staring at her BOOBS when she said “Would you press one?” So, I did. I don’t remember much after that.
Sounds like you pressed the wrong one.
(15 hours ago)
Wed, 12-Feb-25 11:45 AM (2 days ago)
I never thought laundry detergent could go bad. But it seems the Tide has turned.
Tue, 11-Feb-25 11:43 AM (3 days ago)
School call today, they say my daughter needs to be in special classes… I’ve been doing her homework.
:
:
i actually stopped doing homework with my friends daughter, realizing i was correcting her dialect
(2 days ago)
Pete_from_Aus likes this
Mon, 10-Feb-25 5:08 PM (3 days ago)
Is it 1 word Blowjob or 2 words Blow Job ?? I’m writing a valentines card and it’s important to be grammatically correct …..
Roses are red, I wanna lick your butthole. Oh wait that doesn’t rhyme at all…😆
(3 days ago)
Pete_from_Aus likes this
Roses are red, grammar got run over by a reindeer while in bed 
(3 days ago)
happyhumper69 likes this
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.
(3 days ago)
Roses are red, violets are glorious, never surprise Oscar Pistorious.
(3 days ago)
captain__82 likes this
Roses are red, violets are blue, do you use anti-dandruff shampoo?
(3 days ago)
happyhumper69 likes this
Wed, 5-Feb-25 12:05 PM (9 days ago)
If you are having a bad day it could be worse. Imagine running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first.
Tue, 4-Feb-25 12:25 PM (10 days ago)
Due to the extreme cold, all Walmart customers are being urged to wear two pair of pajamas while shopping 
Would be funny if it wasn’t true …
(9 days ago)
Mon, 3-Feb-25 3:20 PM (10 days ago)
A cab driver that uses sat nav and still manages to get lost Oh my god..
Sun, 9-Feb-25 11:47 PM (4 days ago)
When confronted, real people will stand their ground. Fakes will block everyone that doesn't believe them. 🤷🏽 Meanwhile we'll just keep groovin! ✌🏼
Sun, 9-Feb-25 11:50 AM (5 days ago)
I went out for a few drinks last night and woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, I knew at that moment I made it home safely.
Living life on the edge there Spunky.
(5 days ago)
Sat, 8-Feb-25 1:15 PM (5 days ago)
I decided in recognition of my latest pic I'll give out safe words.
wildwayz commented next. our safe word is 'excellent.'. since your favorite actor is Keanu Reeves, saying excellent should make you go into a bill and ted air guitar. that will stop the activity.
(5 days ago)
smittenforyou likes this
Fri, 7-Feb-25 5:41 PM (6 days ago)
Just been attacked on my way home by 3 fellas. I managed knock one out - which I know - it’s no time to be having a wank , but I was worried it might be my last …..
Fri, 7-Feb-25 11:42 AM (7 days ago)
She just text me and said I can still smell your colon on my pillow, and that is why spelling matters.
Fri, 7-Feb-25 11:07 AM (7 days ago)
Thank you and I am so glad you are all enjoying my pics so much xxx
Tue, 11-Feb-25 1:30 AM (3 days ago)
I've lost 8 lbs, 20% of my goal. Not as far as I would like to be but it's somewhere.
Great going, keep up the hard work and you’ll reach your goal! 👍
(3 days ago)
Phineas_J_Whoopee likes this
Ive lost 10 lbs in about 6 weeks. I put on 12 lb cost I got hooked on crinkle cut crisps nd biscuits. Lost the weight just cutting out those two things. 
(2 days ago)
Mon, 10-Feb-25 11:49 AM (4 days ago)
How much do you normally spend on a bottle of wine? Me: about 30 minutes, Max.
Fri, 7-Feb-25 12:15 AM (7 days ago)
Rated by the NY Times as the best vibrator, the Hit_a_chi Magic Wand is on sale, just in case you need one. You're welcome.
Wed, 5-Feb-25 7:38 AM (9 days ago)
Damn, I wanted to sleep a bit longer. But nooooo, someone else thinks it's a good time to snore loudly!
mojo... There`s no such think as cute snoring
(8 days ago)
I agree with almost, there is no cute snoring
(8 days ago)
Tue, 4-Feb-25 1:41 PM (9 days ago)
Shouldn’t of had 3 coffees and trying to have a nap it’s just not working out for me
I have to have a decaf this morning as I need a nap for work tonight first shift of 4
(9 days ago)
They will my team love me I think they was lost last week I enjoyed my break and ready to go back to work now
(9 days ago)
I don't drink and havent for 22yrs, but do have 0% beer on nights out etc, but thats generally because its nicer than drinking coke/lemonade all night..., plus some 0% are decent now
(8 days ago)
Mon, 3-Feb-25 1:04 PM (10 days ago)
A joke is considered a dad joke once it becomes apparent...MorniNN Statuslanders! 🌞☕️👋
Mon, 3-Feb-25 9:32 AM (11 days ago)
The quickest way to get back on your feet is to miss two car payments.
It took me an hour and 2 cups of coffee to get this joke 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️...howdy Rene 👋
(10 days ago)
RenePogel_2point0 likes this
Sun, 2-Feb-25 1:33 PM (11 days ago)
Friendly neighbourhood pirate here to remind you that taboo status subjects will not be tolerated, whether it be a badger fantasy ot bovine related, you're on a second strike, once more
Not sure Hugh Jackman counts in this Spunky 😜
(10 days ago)
If you've got a thing for Wolverine that's fine, be careful if he pulls yer puddin'
(10 days ago)
smittenforyou likes this
mush mush love 
an 
baby . may true love be with you now and nevermore
an baby . may true love be with you now and nevermore
(56 minutes ago)
Petiteaurora likes this
Fri, 7-Feb-25 8:23 AM (7 days ago)
I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.
Thu, 6-Feb-25 3:28 PM (7 days ago)
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Thu, 6-Feb-25 11:34 AM (8 days ago)
Turns out that when you ask who your favorite child is, you’re expected to pick one of your own. I know that now.
so the son of satan is not an option? 
(8 days ago)
Tue, 4-Feb-25 8:17 AM (10 days ago)
The tea and coffee are married, but the tea leaves. Does that give the coffee grounds for divorce?
Tue, 4-Feb-25 3:06 AM (10 days ago)
I find myself biting my tongue more and more lately. I fear I am going to explode at some point
This is the reason I yell so much in traffic... it's a great release lol .
(9 days ago)
Great thing about social media - I can scream into the void and block any morons who are wrong.
(9 days ago)
Mon, 3-Feb-25 9:09 PM (10 days ago)
took January off my large wall calendar, folded into a paper airplane, tossed it over my spouses head and remarked oh look January just flew by