There were four of us in the jacuzzi last night - Grisi, chubby, eager-to-please Griseldis, was there, too, obviously to the great pleasure of Joerg, who called us "Joerg's Nude Angels" - a term we had used when Tanja had joined us last year - a funny time which eventually had gone wrong when Joerg could not keep his hands from her. So he was very animated with a smug grin all over his face, while Elsie didn't look particularly worried.

Oh, oh, I thought when Grisi climbed into the hottub while I was already sitting in the water: like this I could see her from below and yes - she was shaved. Either Joerg had already been allowed to use his talents as a figaro on her or she had tried to imitate Elsie's pubic hairstyle. Whatever, she climed into the jacuzzi without any reservations concerning her nakedness - she's been learning fast. And Joerg served us some champagne again, and he was so hard he could rest his tray on it while transporting the glasses from the kitchen. Or at least almost.

We didn't chill on their bed in the nude afterwards, but in fluffy bathrobes in their living-room. But because it was Sunday and we all have to work today, we didn't open a second bottle.

I'll see Ruth tonight after school - and hopefully Friedrich, maybe for the very last time.

I would not have thought this: Maria revealed in one of her sporadic mails she sent to me that she had not made love with anybody between our two times - from the end of May to the middle of August. I immediately felt a little cheap and super promiscuous when I read that - but I can't help being the way I am. But still her message touched me - and the implications from this: I am Maria's only lover ...

Speaking of lovers: Alexander, a colleage of mine, invited some people from our school last night to a wonderful meal. He did it for us to get to know the great love of his life - so he said - who he'd met some months ago. The whole evening he showed that he was very much in love - it's so good to have someone who brings beauty and real emotions into one's life, he said, and tenderly kissed him.

Yes, Alexander is queer as queer can be, and his love is called Helmut. This made the situation a little awkward, but only a little. Because we know our Alex, the fanastic musician and even more fantastic cook, and we had a great evening drinking really fantastic wines.

There was no jacuzzi on Thursday, I was just too tired when I came home from school and still had to prepare lessons for Friday as this is going to be a busy day, too. I heard that Griseldis, chubby, sexually awakening Grisi, has taken my place. I'll be with them on Sunday.

My lessons go well; the drama project has not started yet - this will be on Monday. All in all I have more lessons per week than last term, and three times they last till 5 pm. Sometimes there is almost no time to write my blog, and I have to concentrate on the days which are not so busy, for example the weekend. Unfortunately many people are not at NN then.

I met Tanja while shopping after school yesterday and we had some coffee together (and a piece of lovely chocolate cake). Of course we were talking about our holidays and had a good laugh while reminding each other of memorable things that had been happening. I looked at her: she was radiant, energetic, cheerful, not beautiful, but still very attractive, full of life, with a good, firm body.

This is the woman, I thought, who I licked to a screaming orgasm one evening outside Monpellier, this is the woman who tried to do the same to me, and it didn't really work. Some of you wanted to know this - now I have told you.

For my little experience with women, it's obvious to me that I have no lesbian tendencies, that I am not even bi-sexual. Tanja could not really excite me, and neither could Traudl. Traudl with her wonderful taste, like milk and honey, who Phillip and I had sex with in a threesome. And of course Maria - Maria is special. Not Tanja: she is lively, and sexy, yes, she is fun to be with, but sexual contacts with her have been superficial, like all sexual contacts during the holdays - sexual snacks, so to speak, amuse bouches, while Maria, and Phillip, are much, much more: nourishment for my body and my soul.

What I wanted to write yesterday: I was at Friedrich's bed on Monday. He is fully conscious of his situation, but still quite serene and not angry at all about his imminent death. The only things he accepts is morphine for his pains and some water. I have to admire him: I hope that one day I will be able to leave with so much poise.

Suddenly Ruth, his wife, embraced me and said they wanted to tell me something: I was such a good friend of theirs and now she had even heard that I had been her husband's last lover with who he had had sex and been able to really enjoy it. He'd tried with some other women later, but it had always been an unpleasant experience. For that reason I was particularly close to Friedrich's heart, and therefore to hers, too. And she embraced me again.

I must have blushed like a tomato - now she knew, and instead of being angry with me, she was all magnanimous and understanding. I looked at her apologetically, but she just smiled, I looked at Friedrich and he smiled, too.

Ruth said that it was Friedrich's wish that now as his big library was useless and would be dissolved, he wanted me to look it through and help her to give it away, or sell it. But before, I had first choice and could take all the books I wanted to have, particularly the beautiful collection of first editions which he knew I admired so much. Some of them are 300 years old and very, very precious.

I said I could not accept such a big present, but Ruth said by refusing I would offend them, it was their wish because they knew how much I loved books, and Friedrich nodded as vigorously as he could. So I thanked them, and I had to cry, because of their generosity, their friendship, and because I, too, was helpless to do anything against the appoaching death, but wait.

Thank you for your wonderful messages and comments. Even in a distant medium like this, it gives me the feeling that I have real friends all over the world. Some of you have noticed that the beginning of a new term is never an easy time for me, and now with a friend dying I have been particularly restless and sad. I wrote quite a log blog before to tell you about something special that happened to me, unfortunately the page didn't load but logged me out, so the text has disappeared somewhere in cyberspace, and I do not have the energy right now to type it again. NN reacts awkwardly lately and sometimes I have to wait really long to log in or even to change a page. Thanks for being still with me, I love you all.

No comments, no messages for days - it seems as if interest in what I write here has suddely died. I can understand this, life has to go on and one's interests have to move on to other people and subjects. School has started again and there is a lot of work waiting for me. On the other hand, Friedrich's life is coming to an end, too. I saw him yesterday, he is at home, fully conscious of his situation and waiting for his time to come. He made me such a wonderful present, although the situation was rather embarrassing first. If his situation teaches me one thing, it is to enjoy my life as long as it lasts. I hope you can do the same.

A dark, rainy Sunday morning - the last day of my holidays. Yesterday was "Phillip Day": already two weeks since his last phone call. We talked for half an hour, he told me of his professional progress and who he had met, and I told him of Friedrich and the horrible weather we have had lately. There was no word about Maria. There was no word about love.

In the evening I saw Elsie and Joerg; it was very cold, but the jacuzzi warmed us up nicely. We stayed for two sessions, although the cold rain soaked our hair and was quite unpleasant. Next time I'll take an umbrella. Joerg made us two girls stand up so that he could see how much our pubic hair had grow. While Elsie had some stubbles already, they noticed that I was still pretty smooth, which would not have been possible without extra shaving, and so of course they wanted to know what I had done it for.

I told them of Maria, my flight with her and our night of wonderful sex, but again my words failed me - I couldn't really express what it had been like. Still it made them quite hot and both were touching themselves while I was telling my tale, and I couldn't help feeling myself while I was recalling the events of that night, too.

Later, while chilling on their bed and having some wine, Joerg couldn't stop asking me, he wanted to know every little detail. One could see easily how much it excited him, so Elsie finally thought it was better to make him calm down a little and applied a very nice hand job on him, which took very little time indeed. And then she showed how much she had learnt in the last few months: at the last possible moment she bent down and caught Joerg's cum between her lips - she savoured it like some tasty drink and then swallowed it with the air of a connaisseur. And Joerg was so very proud of her.

So tomorrow, my ordinary life begins again, with a meeting and a lot of information for the teachers, while I'll meet the students for the first time on Wednesday.

I constantly have to be reminded to go on telling about my holidays, I am sorry. But there are so many things going on around me, there was Maria, and there is Friedrich, and tonight I'll be at Elsie and Joerg's. I was asked if we saw the two young French guys again after the sunset quickie on the ramparts of Aigues Mortes. Oh yes, we did. It hadn't been much more than a starter anyway. So they treated us to a wonderful fish dinner and after enough food and wine, we followed them to their hotel which was much more luxurious than ours.

The guy I went to his room with was very tall and athletic, with dark hair and beautifully tanned, very smooth skin. The size of his cock was not much above average, but he knew very well what to do with it. He was very gentle and cautious, and we found a lovely rhythm together. What I love about younger guys is their stamina: how they easily get hard again for a second go, and how they can keep it up longer each time. Not that he made me wild - but it was a very nice supplement to the good dinner and the lovely sunset.

Suddenly the door opened and in came Tanja and her guy in tow, just wrapped in towels. They felt like swapping at half time they said, and so we changed guys. And as no-one bothered to leave the room again we went at it right there. I must admit this was pretty new for me, I had never double dated in this way before. So it was doing and watching at the same time, which is almost too much for good sex.

I noticed however that my gentle lover from before went at Tanja quite wildly and frantically, and she reacted likewise. I'd never seen her really do it before, and I must admit she puts rather a lot of energy into it, physically as well as vocally. When she came she grabbed my hand and held it very tightly, until her orgasm ebbed off, which I thought very sweet. As my guy, who was more hairy and even darker than the one before, had a cock which was a good two inches longer, he reached parts in me which hadn't previously been reached on that evening, which made it an interesting sensual alternative, which I enjoyed with a surprisingly clear mind, the way one tastes a good wine and tries to explore each of its strengths and fragrances.

We met again the following night, but just had dinner and went to the beach in the last light of the evening. They cared a lot for a simulaneous blowjob, but were a little put off when I offered Tanja one of my stawberry flavoured condoms to do it. They thought it was not nice this way, but it was certainly safer for us, so they were only mildly pleased. The next day they had to go back home, and we decided to travel on, too.

That somebody has to go like that! That our own bodies could fail like his! It seems that Friedrich's ability to eat and digest has come to an end. He is fully conscious of his fate, he knows exactly what is going to happen: he is going to starve. What a way to go for such a brilliant cook, for someone who simply adored good food, as much as good books and good sex. But he is calm, his only wish is to die in his own house, not anonymously in the hospital, attached to all kinds of humming machines. How he and Ruth look at each other. Yes, she has a younger lover, and he had relationships with his students as long as he could (also with me). Their marriage hasn't been one of the bodies for long - it's been a marriage of their souls. How much they love and admire each other.

At the weekend, he will be transferred home. There are two nurses who will look after him. Morphine will spare him from pain, and there will be no intubation. They will wait for his life to leave his body. I will be there on Monday evening, after the conference we have on the first school day. Ruth asked me to eat before. There would be no food this time, she said, and there were tears in her eyes.

Maria is still under my skin - I felt her when I woke up. And when my fingers tried to find her, here and there, on my breasts and inside me, the memories drowned me. And also swimming in my pool could not wash her off - she's there like a thorn in my thumb, like some ointment on my wounds.

There was no jacuzzi last night, we put it off to Saturday as Elsie and Joerg are absent for a few days. I should prepare some more lessons as school begins again next week. The holidays seem to get shorter and shorter. This evening I will go to Ruth's house. Friedrich, her husband, is still in hospital. They seem to have cut out part of his stomach. I didn't mention him in the last few blogs so that the contrast did not become unbearable. But he is on my mind ever so often. Maybe we'll visit him at the hospital tonight if his health allows.