First thing Phillip said on Thursday night when he came home was he had not much time; he had to go back to the office due to some kind of emergency.

First thing he did when he smelt the cookies and saw me looking expectantly was we had a threesome - he, me and a chocolate roll. The roll was maybe sweeter, but I lasted longer. Not very long though, because I was so hot for him, and he came very violently just after me. We have developed a taste for quickies lately, but then I guess all parents do.

Then Helene came over to look after the little one, and I went to Elsie who had really heated the tub which was steaming in the garden. We undressed as if we had never done anything else lately and ran out into the garden naked, all through the snow and freezing air. Before we jumped into the water we lay down in the snow and moved our arms up and down - so we produced two beautiful white snow angels. It was good in the hot bubbly water, and we stayed for a double session. When we didn't talk, we looked at the sky full of stars - but we talked really a lot.

After two hours I had to be home again, Helene left and I felt lonely, everyone having gone or being asleep. So I did something I hadn't done for ages. I took my glass of Italian red to the computer in my study, I switched on Yahoo and I met so many of my online friends, who I had not had any contact with for more than a year. And I filled a second glass and I watched two friends undress in front of their cams and cum for me to watch, and it was such a warm and friendly atmosphere, and I poured myself another glass (fortunately Alpinita loves drinking from a bottle meanwhile) and then I masturbated together with a third friend. I'd been so oversexed all cookie day and additionally turned on by our quickie and the hot tub that I could not help it. And it was very good. And then I emptied the glass, and I went to bed and slept.

A dark, cold and foggy day outside, but in my house there is a warm smell of Christmas to come. I was baking cookies all day - eight different varieties all based on recipes which I have from my mother, and I think they were handed down in the family from the past. I knew that I would not leave the house today and that it was going to be warm in the kitchen, so I only slipped into a light dress and nothing else, and I am still just wearing this now as I am in my study and the little one, who tasted all the cookies all day, is asleep next door. It was such a good and sensual feeling, all the smells and tastes, the warmth of the kitchen and my warm feelings of happiness - to be honest it has made me quite frisky and wet, and so I am waiting for Phillip to come home soon. I think I will offer myself to him on the same plate as the cookies, and he better choose carefully what he wants to taste first.

I know of course that for the Jacuzzi tonight I will have to give myself a long, good, intimate shower afterwards - I am being selfish and don't want any cheeky sperms swim towards Elsie, even if she is my best friend.

I phoned Elsie this morning, and I did it because some of you, my dear friends and readers, encouraged me to do so, to show her that I still considered her an important part of my life, in spite of her sorrow over the loss of her child one year ago.

I felt she was pleased to hear my voice, and she apologized for not coming over on Monday, but that was fine with me and I told her I could understand her so well. It turned out the Joerg is away until Friday night and she is alone, and it was her who started to talk about our past Jacuzzi Thursday nights. So we finally said we would try to do this tomorrow if the disused tub was still working, and she said she would fill in some water to see, and she knew there were some chemical substances left somewhere in the basement.

So it's maybe Jacuzzi night tomorrow just for her and me - and I am looking forward to both: talking to my former very best and closest friend and the hot bubbly water on my ever receptive skin.

That was a day yesterday - my daughters first birthday was a big affair indeed. So many people arrived (no children though)to say hello and wish her (and also me) all the best. I don't know how they all knew. Alpinita has discovered walking in the last few days, so she hobbled from knee to knee and held tight to them, and now and then she fell on her softly nappied behind, which was then accompanied by an angry wail. She had picked up the word "present", a monosyllable which was hardy recognizable, but whenever someone appeared she repeated it until she got something. It looked and sounded so cute that she really was in the centre of everyone's interest. And I was incredibly proud, and together with Angelika I provided all the food and drinks, sandwiches and cakes and a lot more, and pots of tea for those who didn't drink any wine. In the late evening I just collapsed on my bed, and today I tidied up everything, washed the glasses, found a place for all the presents and took the garbage out, while Alpinita was sitting on the living-room floor playing with some of the many toys which she had got the day before.

Today at breakfast Phillip was in a nostalgic mood. He reminisced about all the sexy times we had had when we .... And there were so many things he judged as having been erotic that I wondered about the pretty long mental list he had prepared. When we were at some of his professional functions and I was was naked under the dress. When we were on the Editor's boat. When we had threesomes with girls like Traudl. When we tried a double-decker with one of his colleagues. When I told him of me having sex with others which aroused him so much. When he thought how I was doing it with a woman, to mention just some. I thought his erection would soon push a hole through his pyjamas.

But the most important thing was the silent question in his eyes, which I answered with a big, smiling yes.

There is snow falling outside my window and all is quiet. Phillip has gone to town, my daughter is asleep and I am taking some time to attend to my blog. I was in town this morning, too, buying all the things for a pizza tonight. I also met Angelika who lives in Phillip's old flat and is Alpinita's godmother, because there will be a big birthday party for the little one next Monday, the first of her life. Awkwardly all her guests will be adults and she the only child, but I am sure she won't mind. Angelika will shower her with presents of all kinds, she is as excited about the big day as if she was the protagonist.

All is quiet in the old house which I love so much. It will not be easy to leave it behind although it is not for ever. And I know it will be looked after well. Still, there has so much happened here and leaving it will be like parting from someone you love. I always thought I would never be able to do it at all.

What else? Some moisture I can feel between my thighs - cum slowly oozing out of me as I am sitting here. It got there when I came home from town - it was a quickie over the kitchen table as I was unloading my grocery bag. Such is life - and this makes me happy.

I don't think I could follow the man yet who looked at me today in the café. Even if his smile was just the right smile: knowing and a little ironic, but also admiring and very promising. Well-dressed, but no dandy, his hair a little too long and tousled to be working in the financial sector. A writer maybe, or a professor, or at least a language teacher. An attractive man who knew of his attraction and who know that it was noticed. A lady's man. I smiled back, but only shortly, then took my bags without any hurry and left. When I looked back I saw that he was leaving just after me, he must have half hoped that I was waiting outside. But I turned the corner and carried my load to the bus-stop.

By someone who remembers the early days of my blog I was asked what my friends Elsie and Joerg were doing, the couple I spent so much time with in the past. We used to have a day per week which was our Jacuzzi evening, a Thursday, and which we usually spent naked in the tub and all around the garden and the house. Some might remember that we were really, really close; if you wonder how close it might be best to go back 80 pages and read about it yourself.

I met them lately in the streets and they asked me over to their house for some coffee. So much has changed. Since their baby son unexpectedly died shortly before I gave birth to our daughter, their life has slowed down. They go to work both, but they have not touched their Jacuzzi in a year (and I miss it so much). They have become kind of greyish, pleasure-less, as if perpetually under a dark, heavy cloud. That I saw them naked so often, that I was even present when they made love seems like in another life. They don't seem to have a body any more which they can enjoy like in the past, all which is left in a grieving mind.

A happy person like me with a healthy child, who constantly prattles on about her and who is so visibly proud is certainly the last person they can bear being with. It's so sad, but our different fates have turned us into strangers.

I admit I was showing off yesterday, but why should I not, when life has so much in stall for me? I am very happy. It was not just marital bliss, mind you. There was something in Phillip yesterday, something which electrified me and made me dance and sing all day: I could feel he wanted me as a woman again, not only as his wife and the mother of his child.

Might it be that our nest-building time is over, that I am desired again just for being myself? That it is my body he wants, my sex, my everything? It's like waking up after a deep, long sleep. I am all alive, the cells of my body, my nerves and senses. I am ready.

The other night I dreamt of a man standing behind me and holding my breast with both hands. He had no face I could recognize but from his touch I knew it was not Phillip. But I enjoyed it so much that I woke up, and my nipples were hard and I felt a shiver over my body. And I thought that this must have been an omen, although I could not exactly point out what for.

A dark morning with frost and low clouds sticking to the whitish mountains. Not even the cat felt like going outside when I opened the door for her. I lit two candles on our advent decoration, a wreath made of fir branches with four red candles, one for each Sunday till Christmas. As I was preparing for breakfast and carrying the tray over to the dinner table, Phillip crossed my path and said this could wait - the first helping he wanted to have on his plate was certainly me.

But before I allowed him to take me and push me backwards over the table, I went half upstairs to listen if all was fine for my daughter, and I heard no sound. So I went back and let him have me and devour me. I almost became xxxxxxxxxxx with desire, and my orgasms shook me and didn't want to subside, until I was lying there and thought I wouldn't move for the rest of this day.

It was then that Phillip disentangled from me, and walked round the table up to my head, and his wonderfully erect, proud cock entered my vision. And ever so gently, he pushed it into my waiting mouth, and started to sway as I closed my lips around him. And it took only seconds until he came with a big, big moan. Oh, his nectar.

Only then I noticed how close my hair was to the burning candles, but I was not afraid, I had certainly been watched over well, so I only moved my head away for an inch or two.