Well this run of bad luck of mine just does not want to end.. I was out for two weeks on the road and only made miles driving for 10 days and now my refrigerator in my house decided to quit working and I will have to buy another one, but I have no money to buy one with.. I have never been this broke in many years and I still have to pay my mortgage and I will only have $15.00 dollars left to my name after the house payment is paid tomorrow..

Of all the people in my life I have helped and done things for where are they now? When I need help !! I have said it before and I will say it again.. I just does not pay to help anyone, because all you end up with is a slap in the face..

So screw the world and all those that are in it..

BAAAAAAAAA HUMMMM BUGGGGG on Christmas..

I am so very angry and depressed anymore..

Like the old saying "life is a bitch then you die"

That rope and rafter is looking better to me all the time!!!!!

Bernie

I just spent the last half hour bloging and I get all done and I was typing my last couple words and shit I went to hit the shift key and instead hit the control key and all my blog went into never never land.. God that pisses me off. I guess my blog was not to be.. B

Well it has been a very long time since I last blogged.. Been just tring to get through life.. Not been a very good time for me.. Been driving two weeks on and one week off at home.. Not much else to say.. That cloud of bad luck and dispare is still hanging over my head.. I am not sure if ever it will leave me.. I sure wish it would.. B

I made it home with my truck only after getting hasseled by the dot in washington.. I was able too get home.. I started a new company driving job last week but could not get a truck to drive till tueday this week. However just my luck as usual I go check out the truck in Sumner an few miles from me at the company yard and I find the prior driver took the keys with him so I had to have keys made and it was 2 gallons low on anti-freeze and oil.. it had a bad tire and a couple that were barely legal, also the truck ran real rough and missing So I called dispatch and they said to bob tail to portland to have their shop look at it and fix it.. I arrived yesterday and of course the shop was loaded with other trucks and they said it might get lookedat today, of course no guarantee that even it would happen and if it does that they do not know when it would be fixed, so here I sit feeling really pissed off, but not much I can do about it.. I cannot afford to quit I just started here.. I will wait and see if they start on my truck and get some ball park idea when it will be fixed...

So the black cloud of bad luck is still with me and it seems to be gathering strength I am now behind on my house payment and soon will be behind on all my other bills.. So if things do not turn around soon I will be one of those guys standing on the street corner hold a card board sign saying "will work for food" unless I hang myself first from a beam in my big shop in the back yard.. I have already pick out the beam the rope and the step ladder that I will use.. I know what they say I one talks about committing suicide they they most likely will not go thru with it.. That might be true in most cases ,but I am only keeping it an option at this point and in the planning stage.. I want also if I go thru with it at some later date I will invite the news media so they can come take pictures either just after I do it or if their brave enough take pictures or a movie of it happening.. Maybe I will get 15 minutes of fame out of it.. LOL.. I am getting real tired of this old crooked uncareing world any way..

I will make sure to blog and let those that read my blog if any when I set in motion my final plans and date of self execution..

I hope every one has a great week and weekend ahead.. Bernie

Well I am finally to billings montana.. truck front drive axle is still leaking but no grinding or growling so all is well I will keep an eye on the oil level , stopped in sauk center mn athe walmart and filled the drive with oil it took a half quart.. I just do not know how far I drove to loose that half quart .. Oh well I will soon be home for good.. I called the company I am least on to and informed them I was not going to work for them anymore.. I am going to start several new companies and ventures, that will be even more profitable then trucking could ever be.. So wish me luck... B

well the black cloud that keeps following me around has struck again, will it never stop or go away... Now to day I find my front seal on the new rear axle I installed a couple years ago is leaking and with further investigation I have an input bearing going bad, and it will cost $3,000.00 to fix or buy another differential from a wrecking yard, How ever I do not have the money to buy either one.. So I am xxxxxx to try and bob tail home from minneapolis and hope I can make it before it goes completely out on me.. I was planning on retiring my old truck anyway at the end of the month. and also getting totally out of trucking period.. I just need to start a new life and a career.. I am so burned out on trucking.. B

I have been working very hard in getting my new business started but it seems nothing is going fast enough. I have so many things going on at once and my brain is so overloaded I feel like it is going to explode at times, but I know it will all be worth it..

Would be nice just to take a pleasure break and let the dust settle..

You all have a great day. B

I have begun a new journey today I am so excited and got some real positive feelings about this new adventure I am about to undertake.. Maybe now I can finally get the hell out of trucking and have a real life again and might I add have a great financial future as well.. I will blog more as the days and weeks pass. Take care everyone.. B

I always like to give everything one last try , well it seems I am just out of one last tries.. It seems every which way I turn,, turns out tobe the wrong way, even when I do nothing it is the wrong thing.. I just wish something would go right for a change.. It is about time for my life to change for the better..

Here it is going into a long weekend nothing much going on. I am so very tired of everything... Nothing is exciting anymore.. I am just so burned out on life.. Every which way I turn it is just on big hassle or problem.. I so wish when I awake from a deep sleep and having a super dream that I could just stay asleep.. I awake and think damn reality again.. Like the old song " I awoke got so damn depressed I set my sites on monday" .. I guess hoping that monday will be any better! Thats a laugh, same old crap just a different day..

Its all a bunch of bullshit anymore. B