Hello people I simply must apologise to all of you who have yet to receive a message answer, now there are far too many for one session (oh the bliss)I have gotten a couple of days behind, (would prefer a hot guy, but there you go) well more than a couple really. I am on a serious mission here at home to redecorate the house. It has been in need of attention for some time and I could always find a reason not to do it, it is all the prep work first....If you recall I did once threaten in one of my blogs 'my putting off til tomorrow......' So I have made a start and already I can see results, I can see where all my hard work is for, My working day starts very early and I have not been getting home til the afternoon, so straight on to wall paper hanging, I am so sick of wall paper hanging, I am sure I am paying for past sin's committed in a past life!!! But I am slowly getting there, but it doesn't give me much time to then sit here, so my sincerely apologies to one and all, I will certainly make a point tomorrow of getting in here and having a play!! I miss everyone very much but Hope your all alright, I seem to be and I am not questioning why for now!! LOL BIG HUIG xoxoxo

Firstly, thank you to all you wonderful people who have sent me messages and emails enquiring 'where my head is at', thank you people it means a great deal to me.
I think I mentioned in my previous blog about having my cyber bubble burst and too be honest, it affected me more profoundly than I expected, I lost all interest in this machine, didnt want to turn it on, I felt even cyber world let me down and thats the story of my life really....Being disappointed, I know I am wallowing in my own self pity, again!! I also tend to get down when we hit the Summer Solstice but the depression was not leaving me, to the outside world I am Kas all jolly and full of life, alone I am Kas and just alone and the demons within my head like it when I am alone and feeling down, they can have fun with me then, mess with my head the bastards!! I am not alone, in the sense of not having any friends, I am very blessed with my friends, but I am a private person when it comes to discussing whats going on inside my head, that stems from having no-one to talk to as achild (no living relatives/siblings) So I prefer to analyse try to work it out for myself. I am perhaps guilty of being too analytical. One thing is for sure I have certainly missed all my friends in the passion pit and all the people I have got close to via this site and I was very sadden to learn we have lost a few members too!! I am starting to pick up somewhat, get it together, I will be posting tonight, although it is going to take me days to answer all my messages, so apologies if you have written to me and I have yet to reply, I am not bragging, but I do have quite a few to get through yet, so please be patient I will get round to you. Heres atune for you to listen to, I am a big fan of these guys.... Enjoy and dont worry, I am getting there, slowly!! MASSIVE HUGS guys xoxoxxo

Hello gang it has been sometime since I have last written anything so I thought I ought top waffle a little, fill you in on whats been happening in my world.....
To be really frank I had my Cyber heart broke a couple of months ago and therefore it burst my Cyber bubble to a degree, I have not felt the need to turn this thing on, get involved in some time, I cant recall the last time I stuck my head round the Passion Pit door and said hello to everyone either. I will rectify that in the next few days so be warned guys!! I just lost all interest in my computer, the world within my computer, not with my online friends, they were collateral damage really unfortunately along with bragirl with respect to answering messages and posting, while I remained in self imposed reality, but I am not a big fan of reality it has to be said, it has been a struggle!! I think I am getting over the heart break now and ready to start to get more involved again with the many online friends that I feel extremely lucky to have really, that is once kissed a few butts I guess is the expression!!
Plus, if you know me then you will know I am a big fan of the cycling and of course it was the start of the great grand tour, it was the tour of California recently but it is also the tour of Italy in its last week now actually, then next month the tour of Switzerland and the the big one, the tour de France in July, cant wait for that tour!! So I am being somewhat of an addict and watching the race live on one of my many satellite channels, It is really good to see an Australian up in the top five of the standings so far. I sound like a geek or an 'anorak' we would call it here, but I love to watch them cycle, so fit, powerful, with the sexy thighs and tight butts...))
I really want to give a particular shout out to Elle and to Purr.... I am going to try hard not to complain about anything much from now on if I can help it. Your both strong and beautiful women who I wish the very best and who I am sending those positive vibes to.
I am still relatively happy regardless of the end of what I thought was a developing, honest friendship/relationship admittedly online, with the rascal who just didnt turn out to be what I had expected, I am just too trusting me thinks or probably just bloody fool, Se la vie its in the past now whatever anyway, learn from it, move on, bollocks to it, who's next?
I have found a few interesting pictures I think, I am going to post tonight for all the strong girls and guy's out there who are fighting a daily battle with life's up's and down's...Stay positive people BIG HUG xoxo

Hello people I just wanted to explain about my recent post of my rear... It is part of a shower series we have taken, quite a few of you have suggested it so we did these pictures ages ago now and I wanted to point out I am NOT looking to get varified with that shot I know I would have to work a lot harder than that! It was just a little fun, just wanted to clear that up.
I have been feeling exceedingly good these past few days, dare I say it happy. I dont expect it to last, but I am handling this new emotion and enjoying it too!! Hope your world is a happy one too BIG HUG guys xx

Hello gang Its a little overdue this blog as I know quite afew of you have been worried for me and I cant thank you all enough for your words of comfort and support. So what happened at the Hospital I hear you cry....
So we get there in good time, time enough for me to start really panicking, but of course hiding it very well!! I went into the exam room and was told to lose every bit of clothing from the waist up, put on this very thin cape and sit, wait in this little dingy, cold sterile room, feeling extremely vunerable after what seemed like ages the Doctor walks in and then after some questions, gropes my breasts but in a medical way (a nurse was present the whole time)Have you any thoughts? I plead with him after he had had a good grope, he replys yes but lets give you a scan first, I thought I would pass out with fear. So while giving nothing away in his facial expression he studies the picture that emerges of the inside of my right breast...After only about twenty seconds of viewing the screen (I wasnt counting honest) He turned to me and my mouth was so dry at this point I felt sick, he tells me both my breasts are full of very harmless cysts and they are quite normal for a woman of my age, he turned the screen for me to look at them all. They tend to appear after the age of 35 and the closer a woman gets to the Menopause. The elation that washed over me after learning the good news I couldnt stop grining!! )) He did stick a needle in the biggest cyst (which I had found in the shower)This was to check the fluid within, its called 'aspirate' I was told this would hurt very much, but I am more than happy with needles and it didnt hurt that much at all. The fluid was normal. However, he than told me I would need to go for a mammogram and this was the one procedure I was really most scared of, that I knew would hurt.... What they do to get an accurate picture of the inside of your breast, is to literally squash the breast in between two plates, I can take pain I have given birth naturally three times, but blimey (I am being polite with my use of word there too) That was hellish to endure and four times too, my eyes certainly watered!! But this is something I will now have to go through once a year every year now forever more as a precaution but very nesscary because of my age and the cysts.
I came away from that Hospital with the knowledge I am healthy, but I couldnt help but think of the thousands of women who had left that Hospital after similar tests to be told their lives would never be the same and they needed to get things in order. I felt incredible relief but I was also left with the realisation I am an older girl and no matter how I fight it my body is going to show its age more from now on I guess, I often told you my face shows its true age!! LOL I have not been very kind to this vessel I inhabit over the years and maybe its now time to give it a break and be good to it, after all, I am really half way through my life now if I am lucky!!
Thank you to all of you who sincerely offered to listen to me while I vented and I feel extremely blessed to have complete strangers really who care enough to offer. I just hope my blog made people think more about self examination. I know I am looking at my life differently with new eyes and I know how much I really value the important people who are in my life. One thing this whole situation has taught me I know who I can count on for support when the shit hits the fan, those who are my true friends and not when it suits them, indicator friends I call them, on and off! You guys and you know who you all are, your fantastic I know I sing the praises of this site often but maybe not often enough, but this site has helped me so very much in so many ways. I shall find a suitable couple of pictures to post to try to thank Newbie Nudes so watch this space!! BIG HUG guys and thanks again, from a healthy, happy but older lady!! xx

Hello Friends...Be warned I have written rather a lot in this blog....
I wanted to explain why my activites on this site had slowed somewhat past few weeks. I had in my previous blog, put that down to depression which is true, but there is a reason for that depression....Just after my birthday (21 March)I was in the shower and I happen to feel an anomaly in my right breast, the alien within is the size of a golf ball (and no, Tiger Woods did not leave it there)! I was numb with shock and felt very sick really, but I didnt alert anyone to its presence, I just retreated, withdrew into myself and internalized all my thoughts, feelings pretended all was well, I am very good at hiding my true feelings, from myself and others. I never had a 'mother figure' or anyone at all through my childhood to talk to about how I was ever feeling, by the time I got to my teens I was quite used to not talking about my 'head stuff' or the hideous things that have happened to me in life and keet all my bad memorys locked away deep. I did confide in just one person shortly after I discovered it, I didnt get what I hoped for, craved for from them, some words of comfort, support. They have enough heavy stuff going on in their life at the moment to have to take on board my stuff too I guess and I have to admit to disappointment. So I have kept quiet, not wanting anyone to0 worry for me really until last week, then I managed to pluck up enough courage to go and see my Doctor, who concurred with me that this golf ball needed to be throughly investigated. Luckly here in the UK you have to be seen by a specialist within two weeks of a referral so just over a week later, I have an appointment (Fri 23 april) To go to the Hospital. Even after all the relevant tests they do it might well be another two weeks before I know definitively what I am dealing with. I am really hoping this alien is totally inocuous. So I am trying to follow the advise I gave everyone else..Think positive!! But to be utterly frank, I am absolutely petrified and not remotely thinking positive!!
The main reason I am confiding to you guys and girls is really to raise the awareness, the importance of self examination, which to be honest I had never done before, hence the alien being of a reasonable size now. So girls, gave yourself a fondle right now and guys, check your balls!!
I know this sounds really silly, but I couldnt bring myself to post any 'bragirl' pictures, couldnt look at myself, I cant explain it. I know I have shut myself off from the everything and everyone, I have hardly been 'online' at all or engaged in any acts of social intercourse But now, now I have told my two boys and my two closest friends, (I have no living parents) I feel slightly more opitimistic and able to post. After all I have rather a lot of pictures to get through yet and my philosophy of putting off till tomorrow what you can do today is taking a back seat for now. I dont want to sound too doom and gloomy, but how many tomorrows do we really have??
So apologies to all who have sent me messages the past two weeks that I have yet to answer and sorry for such a long delay in a response, but hopefully you understand why now. I am not looking for sympathy and there is no point in getting worried about what might happen til we know for sure. I just want to know now what my anomally is, I will keep you all informed when. S
So as I advise everyone else....Keep thinking positive and thinking positive is what I am trying to do, but underneath this tough exterior this girl is terrified!! BIG HUG guys xx

Hello peeps I have just posted but I have managed to post one picture twice der!! I am not doing too bad with life at the moment I can really see the colour green everywhere as all the Trees start to wake up and the sun is getting higher, stronger everyday, Summer is so very brief I intend to make the most of it for sure. It is still dark when I set off for work but I reckon another three weeks maybe and it will be light at 5.45am again and get lighter earlier still. I still fight my inner demons everyday anhd I have just had a rough couple of weeks I have felt like a robot getting up doing the 'living life' thing, I just remind myself how lucky I am in many respects compared to others and I try not to complain too much, but some days I do want to give up, but ever the eternal optimist...Hope your all doing better BIG HUG and take care xx

I apologize....I also meant to thank everyone who sent me happy birthday messages too..I wasnt expecting it so thank you guys xoxoxo

Hello all I thought it was about time I let those who have asked know 'where my head is at these days' But before I do I simply must thank everyone in the Passion Pit yesterday who wished me a happy birthday I really did/do appreciate it guys so once again thank you so very much ) I must admit my mood has really increased to a 'normal' dare I say it 'happy'level these past few weeks and I am ill equipped to handle such an emotion!! The renewed optimism is all down to knowing the Summer and the longer days/shorter nights are not that far away for us now at all, we have the early dawn already, its light here by 6am however we will lose the early light when all our clocks go forward an hour this weekend for the British Summer time, why we bother I dont know!! I am doing rather well these days all things considered and I am trying to stay positive, thanks to everyone who has asked how I am doing its reassuring to know I am thought about Hope your all well BIG HUG and take care xx

Hello my friends, I was chatting in the passion pit earlier today (when am I not)!! When a chap in there brought it to my attention that it is four years to the day since I first joined and posted on this site wow!! How far have I come in those few years?? Its all down to the continued support I get from all of you guys. I just want to thank each and everyone of you who have been with me since the beginning and who have helped me on my journey of rediscovery without you guys Bragirl simply would not be...I will try to find a suitable one off picture to post for you later, by way of thanks to you all. BIG HUG and take care xx