Heather: *From her bedroom* All right. I mean it this time, I'm going to bed.
Dig: Uh-huh, watch her come meandering back in here.
Nicole: 'Oh uh, hey you guys, by the way...'
Heather: ...shut up!

I'm very tired, but at least I finally have roommates I can laugh and joke with and just sit up and talk about stuff with.

*content*

So I'm not getting my fifty dollars back from Kaitlin. Why? Well I texted her today and asked if there was a time friday I could get it from her. She went to my RA instead and told her about the situation, and the RA came to me and told me I couldn't have it back, because it's for the fridge and therefore would just go back into the system anyway and there was really no point in all this transaction stuff.

So I'm pissed, and feel like crying, and I wanted to talk to dad about it, but he had just gone to bed and said tomorrow would be better, so now I just want to cry more because I'm so angry. I look like a dumbass in front of the new roommate because everything that involves Kaitlin ends up going to the RA's and they come in and reprimand me in their 'we're not mad at you but you're kind of a dumbass and we're a little irritated we gotta keep coming to you about' shit way.

And all I really want to do is make that cunt pay for being such an awful shitty roommate and for making my first semester miserable and for bleeding into my second semester which is supposed to be better, and I can't. The only satisfaction I have is that I'm graduating before her. But besides that, karma really isn't playing out the way it should. And it makes me so angry to the point that my vision gets blurry and I feel like fainting again.

Tomorrow I have most of my classes, and then I have to go to club night for the Spirit club, which means I might have to see Kaitlin since she's like omg the number one spirit girl of Phi Delta Kappa or what the fuck ever sorority she goes to. All I want to do right now is sit with my smoking buddy and sign about how much I hate people and how I look forward to having my own apartment, so I don't have to deal with this sort of shit ever again.

I hope my weekend plans fall through, cause if not I'm going to be so bored and so moody. Then again, I could always just splurge, by myself a damn book and sit in the Vasilika and read.

*grumpy now*

I've been somewhat bummed out recently because before mom and dad went home Mom had bought me a bracelet from the Vasilika, a massive and beautiful Catholic church near my school. It was somewhat against my wishes, because I had just wanted to look at it and mom asked me what it was, and I was looking at it and the price and I said I couldn't afford it anyway, so put it back. Well mom grabs it and just puts it on the counter and buys it. Which kind of pisses me off because I've been over this with you guys before about how I hate feeling spoiled. But she buys it and then she goes to say a prayer to Mary and while she was doing that I sat with dad in the pews and talked to him about it and how much it bothered me, because I don't want them to think I'm just using them for their money, but he assured me it's not like that and while yes, I am rather spoiled, so are sissy and my brother, so I felt a little better.

But a few days ago I was brushing my hair back from my face and I felt some of my hair get pulled. I checked out the bracelet and I saw this tiny little screw in it was coming out and the bracelet was starting to come all undone and it just really bummed me out, because I didn't want to ruin it or anything but I so wanna wear it because it's just so gosh darn pretty. So I took it back to the Vasilika today and I told them about it and this older woman behind the counter just grabs another bracelet, takes it out of the box and hands it to me and I'm like 'Woah...that was easy.' I thank them and they tell me to be careful with it and I'm on my way.

Nice. =3

To counter balance that though I'm becoming broke again, which sucks. I had to buy books today, I couldn't get them online because one teacher was already mentioned a quiz after Martin Luther King Jr. Day and I don't even know the others books I needed, so I called dad and told him I'd be getting them from the bookstore and he says it's not a big deal and to just call him if we need to take more out on the loan. Well the books only ran 525 dollars, which was a hell of a lot cheaper than last semester, thank goodness.

But there was that, and then I had to go get birth control and that ran me 60 dollars because it's a new year. Ffs... Maybe I'll just let my period be irregular, it's not like I'm having sex anyway.

Things are still going well with the roomie and the suitemate. Heather, the suitemate, and I went to breakfast this morning and we probably will most mornings since our first classes start at the same time, and she seems pretty excited because she's used to going alone, because Nicole just isn't a breakfast/morning person. She's also not much of an eating person either, last semester she apparently lived off of chips and salsa. But I'm still happy to be in here. I actually got a full night of sleep last night. Like I had dreams. I've never had dreams at Flagler before, because Kaitlin always interrupted me right before REM sleep, and then the sleep cycle had to start all over again, so I never actually got a restful sleep. It was nice =3

Also, the tiny stuff is nice too. Like how the fridge really isn't separated with 'your stuff' and 'my stuff.' It's more of a free-for-all where we just throw our shit in there. No one's squeamish about the bathroom, hell we pee with the doors opens (though there's a stall around the toilet but still), and no one's awkward about it. I just like it better here so far. I'm laughing more and relaxing more.

Job-wise, I'm hoping to start back at work Monday, and hopefully they'll work me the hours I want. If not, I've decided I'm going to see if I can apprentice as a tattoo artist, though I don't know if that pays or not, I'll find out if it comes down to me trying. I figure that'd be a good, interesting job and hey! Discounts!

Anyway, I'm going to curl up and hide from the sun. It's uncomfortably bright right now, to the point your can't keep your eyes open and I'm getting a headache.

Yeah okay, so this is what I worked on most of today. It's the main character from the Caecus comic I'm doing with Ash. Her name is Red because I like that name damnit. Only problem with Red is I've never been very fair to her and I've always drawn her relatively skinny and simple, which is not the case. She's generally a pretty big girl. So this was my first attempt at drawing her closer to her form and I actually rather like how it came out =)

So I thought I would be thoroughly bored waiting for classes to start, but this is charmingly relaxing. The roommate and I seem to be getting along so far, because we can co-exist in silence but it's not an uncomfortable 'I'm ignoring' you silence. It's more of a 'I'm doing my own thing right now, but we can talk if you feel like it,' kind. I like it.

I wasn't sure about the bunks, but I've decided I like it fine. The glow of her computer doesn't bother me, nor does the glow of mine her, and the clacking of keys late at night isn't quite as annoying when I'm exhausted. She also doesn't snore! Hurrah! Another positive side of this whole 'bed' thing is that when a male friend of mine asked me to flash him, I could! Neato!

The only negative part about this room is that it's right beside the door so we hear people going in and out all the time, and it's also next to the main spot where people will sit on their cell phones and talk, or argue with their boyfriend, or talk about boys with their female friends, and it's in general a meeting place so that gets annoying too.

Right now I'm just working on a picture and chilling in my bed. Nicole's still asleep, which I never understood people that could sleep in late but whatever, but it's not quite as annoying as it was with Kaitlin, maybe because I more or less like Nicole and I hated Kaitlin. Nicole and I so far seem to get along well. We watch the same shows, are considerate of if we want the lights on or off, we talk now and then and also know how to leave each other alone. I think (THINK) this will be okay.

Classes start TOMORROW, I was incorrect, not today. But I still only have the one, Social Psychology, and then it's me sitting on my ass doing nothing. Yey? Thursday I'll have four classes, Intro to Short Story Writing, Intro to Poetry Writing (bleh), Positive Psychology and then Experimental Psychology, though I have no idea where that class is taking place because two locations are listed. Whaaatever.

So I'm finally all moved in, but it was a fucking stress trip.

Yesterday I'm wandering around lost and aimless while mom and dad are at church and I find out I can't do anything until 1 anyway. So ten minutes to one I go to where I was told by some sga students to go and the only place up there is the 'welcome station,' so that's where I go. Well they think I'm a completely new student, so when I explain 'uhm...no... that's why I said RETURNING student,' they say 'oh well uhm...gee we don't know.' Finally one guy is nice enough (and bored enough) to help me try to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. We go all the way to the school from the student center and then up to student services and one of the RA's who is HOLDING a piece of paper saying where we're going tells us wrong directions.

Ffs...

But we get it all figured out and I get my key for my room and I even got to talk to a cute guy and he KNEW who my roommate from last semester was and totally sympathized with me, which made me feel less of a difficult bitch and more like a victim (hurray!). Mom and I go get my car with all my luggage but the guy at the parking lot we're supposed to go to says 'No, it's full. So find somewhere else to park or just drive around for a bit.'

'Can't we just wait? That's what they did last semester...'

Nope. So mom and I go find parking elsewhere and argue the whole time because she wants to park in illegal spots and I don't want to get towed. Finally we get a bank parking lot across the school where everyone else is going and I unload some things and go to the room, but forgot the key with mom. Fuck. So I leave my stuff on the floor beside my door and go out and get the key, which doesn't work in the door. My god... I end up going through the suitemate's room so I can unlock the damn door and start putting my shit inside.

We get all loaded and I find out my roommate wont be back that night, nor will the suitemate, so I can either leave the door unlocked for goodness knows how long, or stay out. We go to maintenance hoping to get a new key and they say there's really nothing they can do until tomorrow. Blargh.

I stay with mom and dad for the night then and we go out to eat and discover it's ONLY 2 pm but it feels like fucking 6. We eat at a restaurant we've wanted to go to for a while, which had wonderful food and service, and then back to the rv to pass out, where I realize I've forgotten all forms of new clothes, toothbrush, hair brush, pillow or blanket.

Didn't matter. All night I worried about the next day and when I would get back to school, if the key would be ready, if things would work out with the new roomie and I couldn't sleep anyway because mom's snoring was keeping me up and the blanket they lent me wasn't much of a blanket so much as foam someone would put in a box while packing away valuables.

Things went okay this morning though. We woke up and I bid the rents farewell and sat at Starbucks until the sun came out. When I got back to the college I asked security if I could get into my room. The woman is upset I've lost my key.

"I didn't lose it. It doesn't work in the door."

"Are you sure?"

I am so tired of hearing that question. Yes, I'm fucking sure my key doesn't work in the door.

"Well, you'll need to see Miss Bowen at 8 o'clock."

"So uhm...what do I do until 8 then?" because it was 6 something.

She looks all irritated I have the gal to be asking entrance to MY room and asks another security woman to take me. The woman goes to the elevator and I ask her why we're going that way. She asks where my room is and I point towards the entrance doors of Flagler and say 'that way.' She doesn't seem to comprehend, let alone speak English well and we have a mini argument about how to get to my room before she realizes I'm serious when I say we have to go outside to get to it. So she snaps that she doesn't know where my room is, she's only been to the girls' rooms twice. She finally lets me in and I thank her and go to unpacking my shit.

Come 9 I'm 'bout exhausted but mostly unloaded and I just went to go see Miss Bowen. I walked into her office and before I can say much she explains to me she called maintenance and they said they would get on the problem, but if they didn't fix it over the summer she doubts they'll fix it this semester.

...You gotta be fucking kidding me.

"So what to do I do for the rest of the semester?" I can't wait for my roommate to be there all the time to let me in, nor are we allowed to make copies of the keys. She looks confused.

"Aren't you here about the ceiling?"

"What ceiling?"

"Your ceiling."

"I have a ceiling. It's fine."

"OH!"

So she had confused me with a girl that I guess looked similar to me and she apologizes oodles and it's cool because Miss Bowen has always been super nice anyway. She tells me it should be fixed either today or tomorrow, maintenance has quite a few keys to fix because a lot of the ones for the school are old so they'll either be by the room or I can check back with her this afternoon.

Cool.

I come back and made my bed, which was a BATTLE. I've never had a bunk bed and I don't think I care for it. I mean,I go through this major up and down struggle to make it look nice and I seriously don't know if it's worth it considering it's going to be ruined when I have to climb over it all just to get to bed. T-T

This semester had so better be good or I'ma be bitching up a whole new storm here. Classes start tomorrow, though I only have one so goodness only knows. Lol

We have arrived safely in St. Augustine, but I still have to get through the move-in tomorrow, so meh, we'll see.

Anywho, I've been wanting another tattoo badly but I've been really unsure of just what I wanted to get, because yeah it is important, even if they are starting to come up with easier cheaper ways to get rid of tattoos you don't want. I sat up for a while and talked with my friend Jess to see what she thought and discussed tattoos with her. She's been considering it, but she's rather scared and she's always seen herself as a bit too meek and mild to get one. I personally think it would just be bad ass for her to get one, but I'm not about to push her into it.

We talked about different ideas and I've decided my next tattoo will either be another scorpion to enhance the one on my shoulder, or I want to get a feather quill curving along my hip, since writing has always been so important to me and a quill is classier than a computer lmao. I figure one day when I get published (because gosh darnit, I personally think I AM good enough to be published one day!) I'll have the first or most important lines added on to the quill tatt.

Jess said she would love to go along with me when I get whichever I'm getting, and that wouldn't be too hard at all, since we both live close together and we go to college close together.

I the mean time I'm greatly missing my motorcycle =( It's still with Dum and it's going to be a while before I get it back since he has to go take care of his family, which I don't at all blame him for. I would certainly rather him go check up on his family than stay and work on my motorcycle (that would just be wrong on so many levels). Even still, being back in St. Augustine and seeing everyone with theirs just makes me miss mine all the more. I miss the feeling of riding and I miss the freedom.

In any case, just need to move in tomorrow, and then on Monday I'll go to Publix and put in my new availability. Then I just gotta wait for classes and all that jazz. I look forward to hopefully making more money finally, and even more hopefully having a good roommate. She seems okay so far, as do the suitemates. =) I'm actually not filled with dread.

Okay, I know some of you have been wondering if I'm still okay and I think I am, off and on, I've just been busy recently. Symptoms-wise I'm still really not feeling all that hot but I'm better than the first day so maybe it's a passing thing. I'm still quite tired but maybe it's just this house. I always felt that mom and dad's houses exhaust people, sissy and I think it's their aura or something. I'm dizzy every now and then, but all around I am feeling better.

Wednesday I went to go visit my 8th grade history teacher, Pat, who I've always had a school girl's crush on, though sissy and I agreed nothing could really come of it, since the weirdness factor is a bit too great, and I think non-verbally he and I agreed on that as well. It's cool between us though, because of the fact that he's no longer my teacher and since I'm no longer of minor age we can be more open and act like friends, and we do, which I like. Wednesday we spent about three hours talking about books we had read and politics and eventually we ended up talking about porn, which was so funny.

He's a writer too, and a fantastic one at that, and his friend has made some money doing eBooks and investing in them, but he wants Pat to write an anal porn story and Pat agreed to give it a shot. He was so funny because he thinks I'm one of his better editors so he wants me to read it and tell him what I think, but oh how he blushed when he asked. After that awkwardness was out of the way we ended up talking about our favorite porn sites and trading links. It was pretty cool and all I could think was how back in the 8th grade I don't think either of us expecting a friendship this open to have developed between us.

Well supper was at 5 and I ended up coming back home at 6, so mom was a little (lot) worried. I apologized and told her we had just lost track of time. It happens every time I go to visit him. In fact, we had left the classroom around 5:15 and then ended up standing in the parking lot until 6 talking again. Anyway, he had asked me if I wanted to go to dinner last night, we could hit our favorite fast food Chinese place and I certainly wanted to, so that's where I went last night. He did get kind of upset with me though, when I arrived early and paid for my own food. Haha.

For the past few days I've also been packing up all of my shit to go back to college. I had decided that I would go to college with less than I had come home with, because I don't like the hassle of having so much crap that I don't use. But as I packed things up it just looked like way too much and sitting in the computer room to be sent out it looked like a lot, which made me a little grumpy. But it just put it all in my car and it's really not as much as I thought it was. My suitcases, linens and some knick-knacks and whatnot. =/ So, I'm feeling a little better.

Dad and I just went out and checked air pressure and oil, and I was frightfully low on both. So instead of going to just buy oil we went to a quickie place. They did a fast and good job, filled it up all nicely and got things all set up. One of the guys had a really nice sports bike and I flirted with him a little bit, then we left. Now I'm just contemplating lunch and waiting to leave.

Blargh, I hate waiting.

I dunno if it's still just symptoms of vasovagal but maybe I'll go talk to the doctor again or do something if I'm still feeling shitty tomorrow. I had to go into the same clinic today because the doctor wanted bloodwork done on me along with a pregnancy test. So I go in thinking 'please let me get a happy nurse, please let me be getting poked by a happy, nice, friendly nurse.'

So logically I get a nurse in a bad mood. She poke me with the needle and it's all stingy and unpleasant. She finishes and I glance over and see she took three vials. Three fucking vials, I've only always lost one. I mean, compared to dad that's nothing. He's like Bloodwork Man. He'll lose three vials one day, two the next and for kicks three more the day after that. So he kinda scoffed at me but whatever.

Anywho, I was going to visit my local college today to say 'hi' to all the teachers I left behind but I'm feeling dizzy-ish again and thinking 'gee, maybe I shouldn't have looked at my blood, durdurdurr' and I notice my blood patchy thingy that's SUPPOSED to be keeping all the blood in my wound IN, isn't quite working and I'm leaking. Ffs...

I drive back to the house and clean up my shitty bandaging a little and eat some cereal, feeling dizzy as all get-out still. I decide to save college-visit for later maybe and sit down at my comp, check mail and start looking up apartments in St. Augustine and contemplating what I can and cannot afford. Dad came home and we talked for a while, then he started taking down Christmas decorations (saddest time of the year), and I decided to start packing up some of my shit, which took the rest of the evening.

Mom came home, we all ate, and now I'm still feeling like crap. I'm just dizzy, weak feeling, shaky. I don't like it. I'm thinking the rest of the night is working on my story (maybe), take a shower and then go the hell to bed.

Went okay. I told her about my symptoms and she says it sounds to her like 'Vasovagal syncope,' which is basically just a common thing that most anyone could have. It's a body's over dramatic reaction to something that's pretty normal. It makes the blood pressure drop and you end up fainting, which is pretty much what happened. She says if it happens again we'll scan my head and see if there's something going on up there maybe, but right now she just wants blood work to make sure it's nothing abnormal...annnnd a pregnancy test, because no one believes me when I tell them I haven't been sexually active lmao. But I don't blame them, who could believe a 19 year old college student?

She recommends me just watching what I eat and drink and we'll see what happens from there.

Vasovagal sounds plausible to me, though I really can't figure the trigger that made me have an attack, because we weren't standing for all that long or anything, but eh... could have just been some freak thing, like I figured.

I'm just glad it's nothing serious. They checked my sugar and it's all cool, so I'm not leaning toward diabetes or anything, so that's good to know at least.

Bleh on this whole situation though.