Had another fight about nothing with the X. Again I'm taking her away from her kids even though I didn't draw up any of the papers she did. Oh well.

Back up north for another week and than home again for a week. Really looking forward to not being up at this job anymore. The charm and fun has faded.

Kids off fishing again I should have gone with. Told him I would the next time I'm down.

Really been thinking about life a lot lately. Thing again seem to be running away from me. Feelings and life in general. Wondering also how this place fits into it anymore. I guess I need to make some decesions.

I don't sleep much anymore. I hate coming home for short stays cause I get to depressed.

Kid went fishing yesterday and caught 3 Crappies. He asked if I wanted to go but its too cold right now. I told him in a couple of weeks I will be home for a week and we can go than. I really want to go and start being the person I was before Iraq.

I was looking through my records online and noticed I get school money. Now I just need to figure out what I want to go to school for. Stay in the industry I worked 20 years in or take some other courses for a new job. But I am 45 right now and in the age where no one wants to hire as a new employee. Still trying to get to a full time status in the Army Natl Guard here also so I was thinking of taking some classes that would help with that. It will have to wait tell I get back from Ft Lewis anyways so I have time to think about it.

Lonely feeling lonely

For a couple of days. I brought some stuff home so I only have 1 more load to bring home. The transfer went through so now I'm in an MP company. Now I just need the MOB order so I will have work for another year. We will see what the future brings.

My wife and I are watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

Thaks eveyone for the comments and support in blogs and chat.

I at least have work for another year or a little over. I'm going to be the stay back ADMIN/training/Supply for another unit deploying here. It will give me work for a little over a year and another year for retirement. I'll have to spend about 10 days to 1 1/2 months in Ft. Lewis Washington. And probably wont get any time off. It will also mean I will get home with the kids. But also fighting with the X cause she will have o move out.

She feeling sorry for herself cause now she is feeling she is loosing the kids. It doesn't matter that I have been working away from them for over a year. She is the person who wrote up the papers not me. Oh well I'll probably be looking for somewhere to live. I must be to nice.

And I guess by the silence I have my question answered.

Not feeling right about being on NN for a while but here is a joke.


A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'
'About 32,' is the reply.
'Nope; I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily!

A little while later, she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, 'I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.' He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay...How old am I?'

He completes one lasts squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.' Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't,' she says.
'I was behind you in McDonald's.'

What do you not want to hear from your best friends when you tell them your wife is really limbre?
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No she ain't.

2008 started out shitty. I guess 07 carried into 08 for a few months. Have a job I don't want in a place I don't want to be. And way to busy to be with my kids any length of time. I feel like I'm loosing being a father to them. But it is work I guess at one point I was told I wouldn't even have that. But for now the house is being paid for. And it looks like it will be into 2010.

Made and lost some friends. Seems I do or say stuff and upset people.

Got at least 3 bills paid for last year. But they weren,t the big payments but it is a start. One I has schedualed for 2009 and came home to find it was done in December. So I'm 1 bill ahead alredy for 09. I have now 2 schedualed for 09.

Parents went to Florida to live for the winter and the kids and I ended the year with them. We had a good time but why to many people down in that area for me. Went to Disney World,toured the area, and did some fishing in the Gulf were we caught a ton of fish. But only 1 keepable grouper.

@009 started out better already lets hope it stays that way. Some of the plans have already started fraying already. Oh well.

Have a safe and happy year all.