*alert... not trying to upset anyone!!!

Sometimes... I am able to shake off the negativity.. and of course being as super sensitive that I am... I am hurt a lot more easy than others.. or so I have experienced in the past... Anyway.. my venting today comes as I have now had a third person tell me that they thought I was a fake account... sigh.. I guess that the other assholes of NN have made it so people actually think I AM A FAKE!!! What the fuck!!!
Now the only one that made any sense to me was being told that they thought I was my ex.. posting revenge pics... now that one I can understand as a possibility.. ( instead of my token response... if I was a fake.. I would not post fat girl pics!!!!) With all the interaction I have done with fellow NNers... it begs my mind to wonder WTF!!!
I am not fake! Nothing on me is fake!! Heck I dont even wear makeup regularly... only if it is a fancy date... or else I am getting pics taken... NO OTHER TIME... I dont have fake eyelashes... or false teeth.. haha... I am a fucking real woman who is fucking pissed off today!!! I know I should just keep it to myself... as anytime I tend to open my mouth.. aka fingers typing... I offend someone.. or all of you... Today... I care that I dont offend anyone... but if I did... I Will say Sorry to you via PM... just let me know what offending words.. or feelings I have used to make you just as sad as I am now...

Onto another point of sadness... and this one might sting the offending party... not my intention.. I am not naming names.. and never will share who this was... but it has sadly added to my NN sadness this week... I was sent a voice message... so sweet... as being online all the time.. it is rare that we get to hear the voices of the other friends you make here... and this voice was a sexy as fuck voice... telling me that I am so sexy.. that he loves my lips... my tits... that everything on me was perfect... now come on.. as if that would not make any woman with slightly low self esteem feel pretty dang special!!! I listened to it first when I was in the car.. and could not make out everything that was said (cause it was too loud in the car) so when I was in the house.. I listened to it again... and sadly... it was meant for someone else.. lol... now that is an honest mistake... and kinda funny... So I share with him he sent the wrong one... or else he thought my name was a different one.. haha.. He was mortified... and said sorry... he still had an old voice message on his phone and must have sent that by mistake... he was so so so sorry.. and he sent mine to me... I giggled... listened to it... This is where my giggling stopped... it was just a monotone message... telling me that he wanted to fuck me... nothing about how hot I might be... or how much I make his dick hard... nope... just your generic message... sigh... THAT HURT!!!
I am not so naive to believe that I am the most beautiful woman in the world... nor would I want to be btw.. haha... I realize that being a BBW is NOT going to get me LOTS of attention.. LOTS of men hard... or LOTS of comments like he made to the previous womans message... BUT... it still fucking stung!!!

Onto another sad point... I was friends with someone... had been for a while too.. and sadly... without notice... they deleted me as a friend... and blocked me... ah.... what happened?? Did I do something here... and no one is telling me??? Have I truly offended said person so much that I needed to be blocked???

Anyway... I am fucking sad today... I dont have my chipper self activated what so ever... So.. I shall just try to find other things to keep me distracted today...

I dont mean to be a spoil sport here... I just wanted to vent this out... hope it dont fuck up anything with anyone else.. And also the hope that my sadness over these three points will go away.. I feel there is not real need for me to feel this way for long... just too much piled up on each other for me to breath...

Hugs to you all...

Wendy

Dont you just love it when you have a conversation with someone.. maybe even for weeks... and for what ever reason you stop talking for a bit... But then you see a new message from them.. You open it.. and see them asking you where you are from... and how they have never seen such beauty before.. blah blah blah..

these lines would totally work better if I had not already heard them... from you... haha

oh boys... sometimes you do make me giggle..

Hugs!

Ever take some pics of yourself and think.. "Dam.. I am hot as fuck!!"

Ha ha..

Gotta love those days!!

I watched this week’s episode of “Bull” (great show btw) … They were talking about people who are your biggest fan.. You know those people who think you are the best thing since sliced bread..

I am a few people's biggest fan for sure…

I am sure you all know who you are the biggest fans of.. I wonder if they know that too?

Is it a great idea to share with those people sometime… let them know that no matter how they feel on that day.. or even in that moment.. They are loved for who they are! We who love them, will still love them at the end of that day?

I bet that would be nice thing to read/hear on an Monday.. hmmm…

*takes own advice and starts to write a few letters to some amazing people.

Hugs to you all!!

W

Thanks for reading 

On status today I read a sad status update.. a very beautiful woman said she was not happy with the way her body looks… geeze… do I ever know that feeling!

My favorite comments or messages I have ever gotten over my pics is simple… “hey faker.. nice fake pics” and other choice words that they have said over the years of me sharing myself via pics.. My response has always been.. “Thanks! But if I was posting or sharing fake pics of myself.. don’t you think I would steal and share skinny chick pics instead?”

I am not a fan of a bit of my body… the belly and thighs mostly.. and before I got to this site.. I would do everything I could to never show my belly or my inner thighs… I was shy to them for sure.. cropping was my friend.. haha…

Over time tho… I got used to the idea that it is MY body… and it can be sexy as hell… Even being as big of a woman as I am.. I can still make some of the best cocks, hard.. hehe…

Since posting pics that I would usually never ever let see public.. I am amazed some of the pics that horrify me.. are the most popular ones I have in my gallery… Men love what they love.. there is not much we can do about it ladies… I know that confidence is one of the most sexy feelings of all time! I enjoy my sexy feelings I have been able to build by sharing my naked pics with the men and women of NN!

Men do like what they like.. Plain and simple.. There are men who love a bigger gal.. and of course there are 100X more that prefer the skinny chicks.. but… I feel I am here to allow the other percentage of men who like the curves… like the softness of my body more than not.. who want a sweet.. sexy.. real naked woman to stare at… to fantasize about.. crave.. want.. need… and or desire.. That is why I am here.. that is what drives me to share my love and need to show off!

I have gone a lot of my life being told I was ugly.. fat.. and worthless to the eyes of men… It is a nice change to not have to feel that way all the time anymore… I remember when I was told that last.. sadly by my ex-husband, while we were still married… He said I was fat and ugly.. that no other man would ever get turned on by my body… Bhahahahahahaha is what I thought in my head.. I was even smiling.. he asked why I would be smiling.. I said nothing… but I was smiling huge knowing that THERE ARE MEN WHO FIND ME HOT AS FUCK!!! Even being a big woman!!

I have such confidence when it comes to me being naked.. lol.. clothes.. well that is a totally different story.. haha

Thanks to NN.. and to the Men of NN who keep me feeling sexy and beautiful! (even tho I dont swing on the side for the women.. I thank them too!)

Hugs to all the beautiful people out there… massive loving hugs!!!

Extra hugs for all those who have been told.. or feel fat and ugly… There is a little part inside you that knows they are wrong!!! Focus on that voice!! and do your best to ignore the haters out there!!! Or just send them my way.. hehe.

W

You get to work and you find a little note stashed in your wallet.. it was not there yesterday... you open it up and it says.....??? what? What would you like that little note from your woman to say?

One of life's hardest lessons, I believe at least, is learning this one thing..... "It really does not matter what others think, or say about you that will be your true guide in life.... what your heart, mind, and every breath you take wants you to do, finds joy in what you do... sings to your inner core... that and those should be the only things that matter to you and what you do or say"....

Hugs

W

Sheryl Paul
International counselor for anxiety; Author, 'The Conscious Bride'
Wrote this article… I thought it was great enough to share…

What Does it Mean to Be in Love?

A significant portion of my work is dedicated to dismantling and deconstructing the pervasive and dysfunctional messages our culture propagates about love, myths most people have absorbed by osmosis since the first time they were exposed to the wonderful world of Disney and Hollywood. The basic messages about love are:
· The point of life is to meet "The One."
· When you meet this fabled "One," you'll know it immediately and never suffer a moment of doubt.
· If you do experience doubt, he or she is not "The One." You must have gotten something wrong as we all know that doubt means don't.
· Love is a feeling characterized by butterflies and skipped heartbeats. If you don't have those feelings or if they fade away, something is terribly wrong and it's time to leave because clearly you're no longer in love.
· Your "One" will complete you (Jerry Maguire) and make you feel whole, alive, sexual, and fulfilled. He or she is the missing piece to your puzzle and once you meet him or her everything will make sense. If things stop making sense, there must be something terribly wrong and it's time to leave.
· You're either in love or out of love. You can fall in or out of love like falling into a puddle. Sometimes you just fall out of love and then it's time to leave. Said another way, falling out of love is a valid reason to end a relationship.
Sound familiar?
Let's douse these incendiary lies with a big dose of truth-water:
· The point of life is not to meet "The One." The point is to become your own one, to learn and grow and evolve your mind, heart, and body, and to express your gifts and be of service in some way. From that place of fulfilled aliveness you may or may not choose to share your life with another person.
· Very few couples actually lock eyes across a smoky room and "just know" that they've met their future spouse. Perhaps you had a sense early on that your partner was someone with whom you could forge a fulfilling shared life, but perhaps it took some time for that knowing to take hold. Perhaps you were friends first. Perhaps you stumbled through your first dates and only continued because there was something different and you were tired of choosing the same unavailable partners.
· Doubt is a sign that you're an introspective, thoughtful, intelligent person considering making a lifetime commitment. As Bertrand Russell said, "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are so confident while the intelligent are full of doubt." And with a bit more softness Tara Brach says, "Like investigation, healthy doubt arises from the urge to know what is true -- it challenges assumptions or the status quo in service of healing and freedom. In contrast, unhealthy doubt arises from fear or aversion, and it questions one's own basic potential or worth, or the value of another."
· I've written about the difference between real love and infatuation extensively in other posts and in my Conscious Weddings E-Course, but the nutshell version is that love is not only a feeling; it's a choice, a commitment, and an intention. When you commit to learning about what it means to give and receive love in an intimate way, you will, at times, experience the feelings that we normally associate with love. When you learn the Love Laws and take the subsequent Loving Actions that grow your feelings of love and attraction, you will experience more in-love feelings.
· You are whole; you do not need a partner to complete you. Where partnership feels like completion it's not real love but codependence. Two whole people create a third body of the relationship. You are responsible for your own aliveness, creativity, and sexuality. It's not your partner's job to be your muse or your inspiration. If that occurs on occasion naturally that's wonderful, but it's not a requirement of a healthy relationship. If things stop making sense, it's time to look inside and explore what unrealistic expectations, fears, and false beliefs have been unleashed.
· Attraction, sexual connection, and the feeling of being in love ebb and flow in cycles and are largely a function of how open your heart is and how open your partner's heart is. My definition of being in love is: Two open hearts giving and receiving to each other. There are so many ways that our hearts shut down, fear being the most common. So if you're struggling with fear and anxiety it's not likely you're going to feel sexual or in love with your partner. Is that the time to leave? No! It's the time to become a fear-warrior so that you can soften the fear walls and slowly open your heart back to love.
After the initial honeymoon stage fades (and having a honeymoon stage is not a prerequisite for a healthy relationship), feeling in love is an experience that is cultivated primarily through the intersection of two actions: 1. Flooding your relationship with loving actions and 2. Feeling connected to your own aliveness, creativity, and sexuality. In other words, when you're feeling filled up and alive within your own self and you bring this aliveness to your partner who is also filled up, the two of you will meet in a place that can feel like magic. There's nothing dramatic about this real in-loveness. It's not borne out of longing or the chase. It's real, present, honest connection. It's two sparks meeting each other and creating a fire together.

I love the outdoors... love to take "in the snow" pics too...
lovely waterfall here....

Mr Robin Williams

He was my favorite.. one who I wished I would meet someday....

bummer

R.I.P

-W