Makes me wonder exactly how others see me...

It may have been 6:30pm on a Friday after one of the BUSIEST days of the year, but I totally feel like a rockstar after some of the shit I pulled off today!

Same love.... that's something I wish everyone would accept. I have actually been criticized at work for being bisexual. Granted they are no longer employed after myself and a few others brought it to management's attention, but still.... We can't help who we are attracted to and love. It's not something we can just turn off. It has nothing to do with the way we were raised. It just is who we are.

Love this

It really bugs me when people say things that criticize others. I have had MANY problems in the past that you people have no clue about. I have been , beaten, abused, made to feel like I am worthless and that no one will ever want me. Relationship after relationship just proves the points more and more. I struggle often with depression, although not as bad as it use to be. I'm pretty fat, and have had health problems all my life. Those prevent me from being able to lose weight... I've done just about every diet, worked out, taken pills,, nothings works for me. Now with a back injury I really can't do anything... but for people who don't know me and who don't have any sort of clue what I have to go though to tell me "just do blah blah blah and stop thinking this way" it's not that easy.

I mean, I've never been popular, and people really never like me for long. Every friend seems to come and go, passing through my life like they never really cared.... everyone has their favorites on this site, and I'm no ones. When I see I get comments the only thing that goes through my head is, "they told 30 other women the exact same thing today" and I'm no one special.

Everyday being on this site is a challenge for me. To see everyone else post pics of their prefect bodies, or even their one 'best feature'. I have nothing everyone likes about me.... There are other posters that get the statements like "this person has the best _____ on NN" and all I can think about is why can't I have something people want.... why can't I be attractive enough ..... I put up my walls... I put on a strong face.... But every one of these things on here like the bookmarks, and favs, and ratings is like another fist to the face and a kick to the stomach....

This place is about my only social life outside of work... Mainly because I'm there 12 hours a day... so what is here does affect me more then most. I can't go out to places because of the health problems and work injury I've had. I'm stuck in my rut of a shitty life with no escape in sight.

So there you have it.... for the people who say "just ignore it, it doesn't mean anything" to some people it does.