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I am the Cheshire Cat, bit weird looking, bit weird acting, with a macabre side, I appear, then I disappear. I need to be under adult supervision at all time. I cannnot be left to my own devices.
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Friday, February 8, 2013, 6:37:14 PM- A song by Stephan Sondheim | ||||||
Because I like the song. From "A Little Night Music" | ||||||
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Thursday, February 7, 2013, 11:19:37 PM- A blonde joke for the people in Nemo's path | ||||||
WINTER BLONDE As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the woman catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter here, and I'm driving the SALT/SAND TRUCK!" | ||||||
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Wednesday, February 6, 2013, 4:34:51 AM- Why is it: | ||||||
When parts of your life are running smoothly, another part blows up. If A and D being mellow, you know B or C is going to blow sky high. Then when one of those is under control A, B or C, D will go nuts. Why can't everything run smooth. No drama. No sleepless nights. No stomach knots that cause you to puke. Just peace. But I know that will never happen. So you just have to try the best you can. | ||||||
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Monday, February 4, 2013, 8:49:12 PM- Flesh Cards | ||||||
I am too uncoordinated to write on my myself. lol I think it would have worked better to use a sharpie or pen instead of washable marker. For a couple of friends on here Just because Kneeville and cock tower are the names that are hard to read. This link will lead you to all the players as they post: http://bitly.com/u/rockhard6isback/bundles The players are: hernhim1996, lovemybabygirl, MrCoverYou, Whispermyname, BuxomXhunter, guitartxn, MissOwl, MieleGattina, bighoss2, Hillbillys_Pride, Howlin, Bigtex0087, amancalledpony, bound_sighs, needsithard, curious48, ali_dee, 12gaugefan, nudiebare, unicornsam, Cotton_balls, Catastrophic, Safire13, Northern Star, nickey69, masterstoy91, milfmuffin, Army_brat_uk, Oceangirl, kricket187, arabella_topaz, Wrigley, fluffydawg, peachy keen, angelindisguise, sidders73, rockhard6isback, onib28, BBWBrook, petiteprincess, redvs4u, celticone, Uschi7337, ThicknHard1forU, and tight_wet_lips | ||||||
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Monday, February 4, 2013, 4:30:35 PM- Rosa Parks (blog challenge later) | ||||||
Today would be the 100th birthday of Rosa Parks. A woman who stood up for what she believed was right and fair, making an unintended impact that helped change the United States. | ||||||
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Sunday, February 3, 2013, 10:03:51 PM- It's only a football game FFS! | ||||||
People who know me, know I love football, baseball and hockey. I admit to being a fan but not a fanatical. But today I saw one of those zealots in action, up close and personal. I decided I wanted coleslaw with dinner. Figured I would get a small deli container from Safeway. Now when I took my shower this morning I grabbed the first tee shirt in the stack. Little did I realize the faux pas I was about to commit. I am waiting at the deli counter when this guy maybe 20 feet from me starts screaming. Most of it unintelligible except FUCKER, BASTARD, and the fan fav SON OF A BITCH (sometimes modified with MOTHERFUCKER). I had no idea what his issue was but it clearly wasn't little ol' me. Wrong turncoat breath. After about a minute of his rant, he rushes me. I sidestepped his attempt to tackle me. He turned around, I was whoa nellie. What is your issue. He goes on to explain in equally colourful language to his rant that I had a purple t-shirt on. WTF!!?? I wanted to laugh right there but he was now threating to kill me. Chill out dude was all I could get out. About then one of the employees who is about 6'8 and built like rock flew up. Picked the guy up, over his shoulder and headed to the office. To the applause of the folks gathered. The deli help asked someone in line if this gentleman could go first. No argument from anyone. After I got the order the manager told me it was comped. It might have gotten interesting if the cavalry had not arrived. I am not a violent man. I will do whatever I can to avoid messing up my beautiful face (lmao) or causing a public disturbance. But since he was not much taller than I and angry I would have made a stand. It also didn't hurt knowing I had the thin switchblade type knife I use to trim roses with in my back pocket. I find it hard to think someone is so dedicated to their team that they would go off on someone wearing a shirt of the opposing teams colours. If it had been a Ravens jersey, I could maybe see it. But I guess that's why some are called fanatics. | ||||||
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Sunday, February 3, 2013, 7:03:29 PM- Nocturnal dreams | ||||||
I have no idea why I am blogging this. It might not stay long. I had a bunch of dreams last night. Only remember the last one clearly. It is kind of the same dream I had a few weeks ago. In this dream I am in some store, sporting goods or target/walmart type. This is an area at the back with bikes along the back wall and exercise equipment in a mess along the side wall. And a door in corner. There is also a man with a cowboy hat sitting on a tricycle. In the first dream I worked my way through the bikes. Was just at the side of the door when I woke up having to pee. This one started out the same. Same store and layout. But trike guy was taking with some one. He asks me if remember a song about skating around the world. I say "Brand New Key"? The standing dude says yea that's the one. Who does it? Melanie, I replied. Even in my dream I am thinking this is very strange. I start to walk through the bike mess. Trike guy starts to pedal after me. "Could you hum some of it?" he asked. So I hum a bit while fighting through the bikes. I am almost past the bike and he is right behind me. How the hell did he do that on a trike? I had a hard time walking through it. He then asks me to sing a bit of it. Wanting to get the hell away from this guy I sing a verse. Then I see I am next to the door. I turn to the door and there is a wall. Painted flat black. Clearly walled up from the back side. I turned to ask when did this happen. I jumped when there was a totally different man about six inches from me. Hemmed in by exercise equipment, side wall and trike guy. I was about to ask where the hell did you come from and my phone rang. The weird thing is I remember nothing of what the standing guys look like or were wearing. I am not sure I want a third attempt at this dream. | ||||||
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Saturday, February 2, 2013, 9:03:20 PM- A letter from Puxatony Phail (not to be confused with his cousin from Punxsutawney PA) | ||||||
It is groundhogs day here in the United States. I should be happy right? I'm a groundhog right? Yea, you try having a "day" like this. They don't even have sales in my name. At least put a TV or some womens underwear on sale. NO the sale is for the BIG GAME. The friggin elk still think its a sale for them. So what do humans do, the jerk me out of a good sleep to forecast the friggin weather. Do I look like that weatherwomen who is on at 5am wearing leather? Nope, I'm just a big assed rodent. So how the hell did I become the standard to judge if winter will last six more weeks. Because I'm a big assed rodent thats why. Friggin squirrels are too damn skinny. Winter lasts six more weeks because I see my shadow?. Who the hell thought that up, a bunch of drunk Germans I bet. How the hell am I not supposed to see my shadow?! It's friggin dark out and they have 10 gazillion candlepower of lights on my hole. You see my front paws moving, I not trying to get away, I'm trying to find my god damn sun glasses. Plus it's cold out. At least the lights warm it up to about 200F. What is with their club, Inner Circle. Sounds like a friggin cult to me. Then these idiots are in friggin costumes. Yo, what's up with this? They all look like friggin Abe Lincoln or something from a Dickens nightmares. What, no Elvis' up at that hour, duh. I might be in a better mood with an Elvis singing "come and love me, love me my groundhog". Ah hell, lets get the weatherwoman in the leather skirt to jerk me out of the hole. Yea now we're talking about a reason to get up. Only one who had a worse day then me on Groundhogs Day was Bill Murray. Thank god I only have to go thru this once a friggin year. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a latte. Phail ================================================================= For you old timers who are sensing deja vu, I wrote something close to this on my previous profile in 2009. | ||||||
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Thursday, January 31, 2013, 9:21:36 PM- Continuation of day | ||||||
I just got back from lunch. Had to check the calendar to make sure Monday had not slipped in here. The coffee was the tip of the iceberg (previous blog) After taking my shower (which I did not log with status) I ripped a toenail putting on my socks. Still hurts like a son of a bitch. Received a call from a man I interviewed with two weeks ago that they had decided on another candidate. I thanked him for taking the time to call. Seldom to you get a personal call. But getting rejected still hurts. A light on the fridge told me I needed to replace the water filter. Filters are $50 a pop. Off to the store I go. Grabbed the filter. While waiting in the checkout line I remembered I needed AA batteries. Batteries were right there so grabbed a package. Why I grabbed AAA I have no idea. Once home, I get on-line. My cordless mouse died. Not a problem *he thought smugly* I just bought AA batteries. That was when I realized what I had purchased. At this point I figured it was not safe for to handle things like knives. Went to a Chinese buffet for lunch instead. The very last piece of food on my plate slipped off the fork and landed on my shirt. So much of clean clothes. It is only 1 pm here. We will see what the rest of the day can bring........ ON A SERIOUS NOTE: My day has been the small stuff of life. People like Ellefox' mom are facing the big stuff. Keep Elle, her family, and others on here who are really hurting in your thoughts. | ||||||
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Thursday, January 31, 2013, 4:16:24 PM- Start of the day | ||||||
Woke up so lightheaded I plopped back on the bed. Attempted to make coffee. Forgot to put water in the tank. Heard the sound the machine makes when the water is empty. Oh shit! Grabbed the water jug and filled it up. Watched the gauge on the outside so of course I overfilled the tank. The weep hole looked like it was peeing. Water all over the counter. When the coffee was done I took the carafe out. It was so full it leaked around the top. Coffee all over the counter I just dried off. Arrrrgh. | ||||||
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