A bloke walks into a chemist "i'd like to buy some condoms please", the attractive blonde behind the counter asked "what size would you like?" "size?" He asked in surprise "i didn't know they came in sizes, I don't know what size I am". She leaned into him and whispered "behind the chemist is a fence with three holes, one small, one medium, one large. Go and see which one you fit best".So he wonders out the front door, down a side alley to the back where sure enough he see's three holes, he flaps his dong out and puts it in the smallest hole. Little does he know that on the other side of the fence the blonde is waiting, as his member pokes through she starts wanking him off, he can't believe what's going on, but doesn't complain. After a minute or two he puts it in the slightly bigger hole, to where her mouth is wide and waiting, and she sucks him like there's no tomorrow. He fookin loves it. Wondering what's in store in the next hole he inserts his cock, to where she has bent over to backup onto it, and for the next few minutes she fucked the shit out of him.After he shot his load he walked back around to the shop, dazed and confused as to what had just happened. He walked in and the blonde was back behind the counter, lookin like she had just had a sesh on the Nintendo wii. She smiled at him and asked "so, what size condom would you like?" "fuck the condoms!" He said "...how much for the fence?"

THE PENIS ASKS FOR A PAY RISE:

I hereby request a pay rise because I do physical labour at great depths. I don't get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a wet environment in a dark place that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures and my work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. P. Niss.

Response:

After considering your request and the arguments raised we reject it for the following reasons:You need to be stimulated into starting work. You are part time and fall asleep after brief work periods. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift and you don't observe safety rules such as protective clothing. You can't work double shifts and you often dribble.

Yours sincerely,
Ms. V. Gina

this is a list of people iwould like to fuck from here in no specific order

Scotia Sluts
amyscott
mackemlass
susanDFF
pantiesgalore
and_fi
Friendly-Isabella

will add more to the list as i cum across you