I have been taking my time in showing the farm to my friends. Mostly because of my sewage fiasco but also because it feels a bit too much like a dream come true to be real.
Today I took a friend from the city out there. He is one of those friends whose opinions matter. He's smart about buildings and possibilities and such.
He got out of his truck and made a full circle in silence. then he smiled and said "all those years of patience, all those years of waiting and trying are paying you back beyond anything you can appreciate right now."

That made me feel pretty good.

Validation....

5 years ago today one of my personal heros was killed in a plane crash about a hundred miles from my house. Before you read any more of my blog today I should say that we'll be going down some political roads, I don't ask that you agree with me, I ask that you respect my right to believe the way i do. I will do the same for you.

I was lucky enough to meet Paul Wellstone several times while he was my senator. (I can see some of you rolling your eyes, HA) And truth be known, I didn't always agree with him politically. What I respected was his never ending passion for the poor. And I loved that he couldn't be bought. So many senators will change their vote for a back scratch for their district, but not Paul. It was a sad day for me when he died.

I cannot change minds about the role of government aid in our society. I can only tell my story.

I grew up poor. As Oprah says "we were so poor we didn't know we were poor" My mom had me at 16 and shortly after my sister was born my dad became sick. He spent the next 17 years in and out of the hospital. I spent more time in the st. josephs waiting room than at home. Countless times my principal or some volunteer would drive me from school to the hospital because he was on the brink of death. So that was my childhood....wanting things I couldn't have and angry for the world I thought was unfair.

Without social services we would of died. As it was I have vivid memories of trying to take care of my baby sisters with whatever combination of surplus food we were able to scrape together. Most of our clothes were relatives hand me down or goodwill. I cannot make you feel the wisconsin cold when you can't afford heat and the monthly allotment is still a week away. I cannot make you feel the pain of a childhood being shunned because your shoes have holes and you only have 4 shirts that fit your growing teenage body. Without the help of the government I would of died. It's just the truth. Some of you may have some of the same stories.

So as a child I didn't know Paul. As an adult I see someone has to stand up and shout for the kids like me who are far too often forgotten or worse yet manipulated by advertising into believing they have a right to 200. sneakers. I don't know where the money comes from. I know that money should not be the issue. Any country that can spend 600 billion on a war that hasn't made us any safer (and some would argue less safe) can afford 35 billion for childhood health care.

You can disagree with me if you want. I can still see the look in my sisters eyes when we each got a popcorn ball for christmas. This is my reality and this is why I believe as I do.

I miss you Paul....I won't forget you.

I've learned so much during this sewage fiasco. Graywater is the water that comes from your shower, laundry or sink.

Blackwater is poopy.

A report I saw on the other blackwater startled me. I had no idea there were more private security officers in Iraq than regular u.s. soldiers. Thats amazing.

I had no idea that blackwater guards general whozis when he is in iraq. THATS CRAZY.... he's running the damn war and a private company provides his security!

And you think it can't happen here? blackwater guards were in New Orleans the day after the huricane. They were there before fema. A week later they were given a contract by homeland security.

It proves big business is running this country.

We have a lot of work to do.


Oh and p.s. this is very much a bi-partisan issue. Mr. clinton firmly beleived in the privitization of the military

I think one of the toughest feelings is loving someone so much and being completly unable to stop their self destruction.

You can be there for them, offer to get them help....but in the long run they need to believe themselves worthy.

This is the hard part about "daddy pants" Kids don't need to come from your dna to be yours.

Ahhh...what to do.

I found out the city reimburses me 6.15/hour for the time I spend cleaning. Hhmmmm clean up shit or make sandwiches at subway

Such a decision

and first i applied bleach and let that sit. Then I applied a germicidal viricidal gunk.

It sure smells a lot better. And the plumber was her (named tim)
he says he can start monday.


Pray for no rain.....please

But I had it down to the 1 inch level and today it's back up higher than yesterday.

I just want to sit in a chair and stare blankly at the wall.

It's a lonely feeling.

3 feet of sewage in the basement and rising.

and my insurance company says "sorry"

Hey.....unless I drink this stuff......I have my health

And I got so much done.

Now for movie night!

Any suggestions ?

I NEED 50 degrees today to touch up some paint spots.

I know I won't be able to do this again before i put the house on the market.

Please......just 50......thats all I want

Perhaps you all could blow some hot air my way


You know...north.....like up by Canada