After reading Ju's blog about Dawnt, I went and reread all the PM's I had saved from her. What a gift. I beleive it is a rare spirit that can make everyone feel that they are the only thing that is important.

We would talk about every little thing. From the sweet smell of Lilacs to kitchen stoves from the 40's. She was also on the very short list of NN people I anticipated meeting one day.

I guess that meeting will happen in a different realm now. I would always sign off by telling her that I would keep the plants watered in her absence.

A few tears will do for now.

Perhaps you can remember MD's blog of april 4th. He was cruised at the new eatery in his building and we were all happy for him. I wrote the comment "is it my turn now?"

It was just my turn. Hurrying to the store for the items for a salad, I saw a beautiful man walking in at the same time. Our eyes met breifly and i felt my stomach do flip flops. As we moved thru the store we shared many long glances. Every time our eyes met I felt sadder and sadder.

I don't know how to do this dance. I'm not looking for pity or advice, I just recognize that this is not a skill I posess. I have many many friends. I am lucky to know true love. I am not lucky in the ways of courtship.

If that man buying shrimp in the nice black pants with the wonderful suede jacket with eyes that crinkle in the corners when he smiles reads this. I'm sorry. And the loss is mutual.

My plumbing is restored.

Peace reigneth on my kingdom.

Don't carry 4x8 sheets of drywall on a day with 30 mph. wind gusts. You'll only get blown over and rip your pants and MD will want a pic of you in the ripped pants and then someone will ask if you can rip the hole bigger or in a different place and then soneone will ask you to pee in them,etc etc. It's a downward spiral of perversity, all started by drywall.

Anchors....I need anchors

This song stuck my heart today. Norah Jones....Humble Me

Went out on a limb
Gone too far
Broke down at the side of the road
Stranded at the outskirts and the sun's creepin' up

Baby's in the backseat
Still fast asleep
Dreamin' of better days
I don't want to call you but you're all I have to turn to

What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
So please, please, please forgive me

Baby Teresa she's got your eyes
I see you all the time
When she asks about her daddy
I never know what to say

Heard you kicked the bottle
And you helped build the church
You carry an honest wage
Is it true you have someone keeping you company?

What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
So, please, please, forgive me


When something really sticks in me i wonder what I'm supposed to learn. It's true, this plumbing project is teaching me humility!
I think I saw the real reason for the song when i was outside clearing off my car.

My single mom neighbor's ex was staggering up the street towards me at 9 in the morning. He was falling down drunk and on his way to her house. I know she is having so much trouble being alone. I think I am supposed to try and help her out more.

I tell her every time i see her how proud i am of her (she quit smoking)and I always take time to play with her little daughter. I took her out for dinner the night her divorce became final. What else can I do to encourage her? Single moms....moms...comment?

Remember earlier in the year when I was clamoring for more snow?



Really......I'm good......really. It's enough.

Honest

So still no hot water. I might be able to get a plumber friend out today to look at the mess I've created. I really don't mind. I can wash in cold water, I have the whole week off from work so....what the hell.

I hear that florida team won some sportsy thing. i don't like the color of their costumes. That orange is too intense for my big TV. And shouldn't they be studying.

Snowing like crazy today (no allergies here MD) We should see a good 6 inches before its through. I'd like to see a......ah it's too easy.

It was so nice to read A blog fron Dough. I missed him.

Time to haul a bucket of water. Like granny from Beverly Hillbillies.

So...phase two of my remodel, as they say on TV.....starts now.

I've already managed to break a pipe I was trying to gently remove. No hot water for me till I can figure this one out. Thats why I'm blogging. Sometimes you just have to walk away.

I like LUNNA's new hair. Now, as they say, the carpet will match the drapes (and in a fresh new way!)

Well....back to my plumbing nightmare.

I had a dinner party on tuesday night, well a sort of going away dinner for a good friend. After the food was served and everyone had a few drinks we sat around the table and the talk was flowing.
It dawned on me that this was what makes me truly deeply happy. I love listening to conversation and laughter. And i love knowing that these fine people i call friends can come together in my house and feel good.

It was nothing fancy....just.......right.

While out today I climbed up into an abandoned railroad bridge. Trains haven't crossed it for 40 years. I paused and listened to the stories still held in that pile of rusted steel and creasote soaked wood.

This bridge might seem insignificant now. Without it though, millions of tons of iorn ore would not of been available to build the skyscrapers of new york. And the mighty army of the great world wars. It is forgotten now, but if you stop and listen, it remembers.