That's when a man has a wife, a girlfriend, and a mortgage that are all ninety days late.

My father in law and I took my son coyote hunting today. My father in law had purchased one of those new electronic callers that imitates a wounded rabbit squeal, etc. and wanted to try it out.

We found a good natural blind in the middle of his brother's pasture (he has the cows in another one right now) and sat the decoy, a motorized "wounded" rabbit out and fired up the call. My son made a nice shot on one coyote at a hundred yards using my .270, a clean one shot kill.

We sat for about thirty more minutes and were thinking of moving, so I stood up. I had brought along my 12 gauge loaded with 00 buckshot, for close shots, and its a good thing I did. When I stood up there was a coyote less than twenty yards behind us and coming fast.

Now usually when they see or sense a human they will run, but I suspect this one was starving due to the recent deep snow we had, which makes hunting hard on them. Instead of fleeing he charged. I've never had that happen before, and I've been hunting them for years.

It happened so fast that my father in law and son thought my gun had gone off accidentally and started yelling at me. When I showed them the dead coyote and told them what happened they calmed down.

I suspect if we'd remained seated he would have run right by the brush pile and not even known we were there, but it did make for an exciting moment. He didn't weigh but about forty pounds or so, but when he was charing me with teeth bared he looked ten feet tall and must have weighed a ton. LMAO

It's moments like that I live for. The thrill of the hunt and making a good clean shot. Also, two less predators to prey on the spring calves. It's all good.

Last night about 1AM, my wife's little shih tzu, who hardly ever barks or growls at anyone or anything, woke me up. She sleeps at the foot of our bed and she was laying there growling deep in her chest. At first I thought she was dreaming or something, but then I noticed her head was up and she was staring at the window.

The blinds were closed and I couldn't see outside but I wondered if there was another animal outside, we have raccoons, stray dogs, and stray cats galore in the neighborhood. I've even seen white tail deer in my yard on a couple of occasions. I told her it was okay and laid my head back down.

She climbed right on my chest and started whining. She NEVER does that, she knows I don't like her laying on me when I'm sleeping, so I knew something was up. I got up, slipped on some jeans, and the whole time she's growling. As soon as I opened the bedroom door, after grabbing my handgun from the nightstand, she ran to the front door and growled softly.

I went to the door, flipped on the front porch light, and looked out. Nothing. I opened the door and stepped out and the dog, who usually is ready to run out as soon as you open the door, whined and backed away. Now I was really curious, and a bit concerned.

I noticed a light shining down the side of my house and heard soft voices. I shut the light off and stepped out, closing the door behind me and stood there in the dark and listened. Sure enough, I could hear voices and then I heard the soft metallic sound of someone talking through a radio.

Flashlights were moving around in my back and side yard and when I glanced around the corner, there were three police officers in my backyard. I noticed more in the neighbors yards and realized they were looking for someone. NOT wanting to get shot by mistake I put my handgun in the back of my belt and waved to catch their attention.

I told the officer about my wife's dog and he said they'd checked my yard and were moving on and advised me to go back inside. Another officer, who I knew and who knew I was an ex cop came up and asked if I'd seen or heard anything suspicious. I told him about the dog waking me and how she refused to come out on the porch.

The whole time I'm trying to get the first officer, and then the second, to realize what I'd realized. Someone was hiding under my front porch. Not wanting to say anything out loud, and precipitate a shooting of two unaware officers in case whoever it was happened to be armed, I'm frantically pointing and gesturing. Finally one of them got it and stepped away, calling for others to come over.

Turns out a suspect who'd fled on foot when the stolen vehicle he was in got stopped by the cops was under my porch, and was armed. It was just a Jennings .22 which is about as reliable as a the weather forecast, but he was armed. Once they spotted him and he refused to come out they called a K9 unit. When he arrived the guy came out and surrendered without a fight.

They found the gun under the porch where he'd dropped it, most likely hoping they wouldn't find it and he'd not be charged as a felon in charge of a firearm.

So I gave the dog an extra doggie treat and went back to bed. It still amazes me how animals can sense things we don't. How she knew, from behind a closed door, that there was someone under the porch I can't figure out. Scent wouldn't have helped until I opened the door, and she knew before then, I could tell by the way she was acting.

This morning I checked under the porch again, and found a ziplock baggy with a half dozen pieces of crack cocaine (rocks) wrapped individually in the corners of plastic baggies. So, I called the police dept and they came down and collected that too.

Bet I don't make that guys Christmas Card list. LOL.

What do a puppy and a near sighted gynecologist have in common?



A wet nose.

A girl asks her Doctor how many calories are in sperm.

The Doctor says "Believe me, if you swallow no guy will care if you're fat".

the wife offered me a blowjob when she got home from work, to make me feel better....

and I turned her down. :O