Today my wife and I (alias) took our oldest daughter to U of I hospital to be checked in for an eating disorder,we have known there was a problem for some time but being a stubborn blockhead i thought we could take care of it on our own. Well we were unsucessful and now my daughter ( I am not gonna give you stats ) is very underweight and needs pro help. so this morning we drove 4plus hours to UofI and admitted her to a program they have for this. needless to say there were lots of tears and a few now as i type, but I know now she is going to get the help she needs and we can put this in our past. estimates put her at around 6-8 weeks of therapy. Hardest thing I have truly ever done was walked away from her there alone in a big hospital. In the end though I would rather make a thousand trips to hospital than just one to the cemetary. thats all I have now will try to keep updated so if I seem short at times or distracted or even gone all together bear with me.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding under water.

I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women. I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me.

My mother died at an early age from cancer. Later in life, questions arose over my real name. My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs and did not follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them. That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30's then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s. They said I had a gold tongue and could talk to anyone and motivate them. That reinforced my conceit. I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organisation. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I was a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.

I drew large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy, then on change. I was very critical of my country in the war and seized every opportunity to bash my country. But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy and the need for change. I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed and housed for free.

I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks and corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate these institutions and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight. I called mine "A People's Campaign" and that sounded good to people.

I was the surprise candidate. I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support. I knew that, if I merely offered the people "hope," together we could change our country.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities."

My true views were not widely known and I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader. I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with.

I'm glad they didn't as I became the most powerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth.

Who am I?

ADOLF HITLER (WHO WERE YOU THINKING OF?)

'THE RULES'



NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.



These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.



1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.



1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.



1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT.. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.



1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.

IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.



1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.

DON'T ASK US.



1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE



1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.

NOT BOTH.

IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.



1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS..



1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE..



1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.



1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will BE SCRATCHED.

WE DO THAT.



1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.

WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.



1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.



1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... Really .



1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL

OR golf.



1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round IS A SHAPE!



1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.

YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;



But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Because I'm a man... when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man... when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

Because I'm a man... when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man... I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man... when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man... I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man... I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the heck could he know where we're going?

Because I'm a man... there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always sex, cars, food, or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man... I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay! I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man... you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man... I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it - looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man... I expect to be left alone on Thursday's and Fridays so I can check the new Orsm update. This is non-negotiable. If you don't like it then we can break up.

Because I'm a man... and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.

Today I was in a store and saw a friend and she introduced me to her daughter in law by saying this is.... and he is the guy that saved Beths life that time.I was stunned and it nearly brought a tear to my eye,I didnt know how to respond other than to Say I just did what I could. a little of the story anyway, probably ten years ago we were dispatched to a Medical call and we arrive to a lady I know who was having a serious asthma attack anyway she grabs me and basically passes out and stops breathing. I have never seen anyone (besides dead folks) as Blue. So I insert a combitube start the High flow oxygen she never lost a pulse by the time the bus arrived for transport she was semi conscious. She is still alive and well and we talk quite often. I guess ppl do remember some of the things we do !!!Nice to hear it !

Its been a good run but I think I am done !

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HMMLqmLaBNY



It's another night in hell
Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death

And as we sit free and well
Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children I love them in his last breath

C'mon now amen, amen, amen

Habitual offenders, scumbag lawyers with agendas
I'll tell you sometimes people I don't know what's worse
Natural disasters or these wolves in sheep clothes pastors
Now damn it I'm scared to send my children to church
And how can we seek salvation when our nations race relations
Got me feeling guilty of being white
But faith in human nature, our creator and our savior, I'm no saint
But I believe in what is right

C'mon now amen, amen
I said amen, amen

Stop pointing fingers and take some blame,
Pull your future away from the flame
Open up your mind and start to live
Stop short changing your neighbors
Living off hand outs and favors, and maybe
Give a little bit more than you got to give

Simplify, testify, identify, rectify
And if I get high stop being so uptight
It's only human nature and I am not a stranger
So baby won't you stay with me tonight

It's a matter of salvation from them patience up above,
So don't give up so damn easy on the one you love, one you love
Somewhere you got a brother, sister, friend, grandmother, niece or nephew
Just dying to be with you
You know there's someone out there who unconditionally, religiously, loves you
So just hold on 'cause you know it's true
And if you can take the pain
And you can withstand anything, and one day
Stand hand in hand with the truth

I said amen, I said amen
I said amen, I said amen,

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnics
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up oh but no matter what
remember I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, now what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

And I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

Yeah with all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy