Overslept because the power was off (electric heat).

BOTH windshield wipers go bad at the same time.

While out running errands, stop and get two new wiper blades.

Lock myself out of my car.

Call AAA. It takes 45 minutes for help to show up. Takes TWO guys another 30 minutes to open the door.

One of the guys tells me I should get a new car.

I tell him I'm on a fixed income and can't afford one now.

He shuts up but is extra nice after that.

I miss going to the game I wanted to see because of car.

Thinking of taking a hot shower and just going to bed.

How's YOUR day been?

~

This time, I look over and see an ad for Viagra. It reads:

ANY MAN CAN BE A PRO in bed.

And then at the end:

With Viagra Professional, you'll be a master!

Luckily, unlike sports, there is no comissoner overseeing this, or men would be declared ineligible for using performance enhancing drugs.

to say the least.

I've got a bit of a peanut lodged between my teeth and a toothpick and dental floss has failed to free this bothersome piece of once tasty morsel.

It will be one of life's simple, happy moments when I am released from this distraction.

... never cease!

I actually saw the sun shining today.

... it would work.

To the right of my blog is an ad. It shows a woman getting "it" doggie style.

The caption reads:

"Don't jerk off yet - try this."

I would think that if you were doing it doggie with a woman, you wouldn't need to jerk off.

Just sayin'.

~

Keanu, Halle and two bad ass dogs:


Action movie for action lovers.

I thought it would be a quick trip to the gas station Sunday.

The doors were frozen and by the time I got one open, 10 minutes had shot by. Damn, it was cold out!

So I get inside and the car starts just fine... BUT

the windows are frozen shut.

I drive to the gas station, top off my tank, then spend the next 20 minutes driving around with the heat vents blowing warm air on the windows to thaw them out.

With the rather mild winter we've had so far, I forgot I usually leave the windows rolled down about a 1/2 inch so that I can roll them down once i get inside the car.

Once again, Mother Nature has refreshed my memory.

~

We've been spoiled by the winter weather this year.

Highs have generally been in the 40's, sometimes the 50's. Rather pleasant to this old man's bones.

But

Today I woke up to weather in the teens outside. It would be an understatement to say my body is in shock.

All I have to go outside for today is taking out the trash and topping off my gas tank. I will make the trip as quickly as I can and get home to the warmth inside here as soon as possible.

Truly, I'll be thinking (as I stand out in the wind pumping petrol) a mantra:

There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

~

Stopped in a convenience store close to home today. A young lady in her early 20's pulls her car up the no parking area in front of the doors, gets out and walks in.

She is disheveled, to say the least: Hair sticking up and out in every direction, she's wearing a tank top and shorts (it's 25 degrees outside!) and fuzzy house slippers.

I watch her walk around and grab a bottle of aspirin, make a 40 ounce soda and shuffle up behind me in line.

It only took one look at her bloody red eyes and one whiff of her sickening morning breath for me to move aside and let this poor creature sidle up to the counter.

A wad of bills in her hand, she (kinda, I think) mumbled thanks to me and practically threw some one's at the cashier.

Not waiting for her change, she popped the top off the aspirin, downed a handful and washed them down with some soda on her way out of the door.

Stumbling once, she made it to her car, kind of fell into the driver's seat and drove off.

The cashier and I looked at each other, slight smiles on our faces, and I said:

Like we used to say in the 60's... "A lotta freaks in the world, man."

I paid for my items, got in my car and drove home - chuckling all the way.

So... how's your day been?

I never roller or ice skated growing up. I gave it a go in the late 70's, in my 20's.

The first time I tried roller skating was on the street. Although I made it a block without falling down, my girlfriend fell and twisted her ankle.

The second time was at a skating rink with a date. The girl promised to teach me. She was quite good, doing spins and skating backwards. I fell down a lot, but finally got the hang of it. My date later twisted her knee and a friend of hers, within moments, fell and split her chin open. I took the two of them to the emergency room. That's the last time I've been roller skating.

I'm afraid to go try ice skating.

~